What if Part 2
by SiennaS
Summary: Continuation of John & Gen's story. When tragedy strikes Genevieve will she turn to Johnny and finally admit her feelings for him, or will it drive them apart? Warning, Mary Sue character ahead and a 'what if' scenario that isn't period correct and is purely speculation.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all, I'm back with Part 2 of What if? Again, this is a previously published work that I'm republishing with some added work to help make the story a bit more complete. This is a new chapter to start this story. Hope you all enjoy it.

What if Part 2

Prologue

Gen watched out the side mirror as Roy backed the squad into the bay. "You've been awfully quite this shift," Roy observed as he put the truck in park and shut off the engine.

"Have I?" she asked as she thought about Johnny. Damn if she didn't miss him something awful.

Roy grinned. "Yeah, you have. So what has you so preoccupied?"

"Nothing," she replied as she turned to hang her helmet and nearly put it on the middle hook again. She grimaced at the obvious mistake and moved her helmet to the hook normally reserved for Johnny.

"Oh I get it," Roy observed. "It's not a what, but a who."

Gen rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Mr. Nosey pants."

His grin widened. "You're thinking about Johnny again."

"I am not," she snapped.

"It's okay if you are, you know."

She paused and looked at her partner. Roy had to be one of the most understanding, patient people she'd ever had the pleasure of knowing. The man could keep a secret like a champ and as far as she was concerned was a true friend. "Okay, so what if I am?" she shot back. "I'm not used to him not being around and well, we've got such a great routine that when he's not here it throws me off."

"Wrong," Roy replied.

"Wrong?" she frowned. "What do you mean wrong?"

"You work fine without him so why don't you just admit that you miss him?"

Her frown deepened. "You're just a little too observant for your own good, you know."

"What I know is that I've never seen two people more attracted to each other, yet work so hard to avoid admitting their true feelings."

"I-" she started to speak, then closed her mouth. How could she deny his statement when it was so true? "I'll admit that he has become my best friend and I love him dearly, but attraction does not play a factor in my feelings."

Roy's smile faltered just a little and he turned on his hip. "Right."

She shook her head. "No really, Roy. I'm here to do a job, and the tangles a romance might cause could put that job in jeopardy. My personal feelings don't matter."

"So you do admit that you have romantic notions toward him?"

"I admit nothing," she shot back, then quickly slid from the truck.

She rounded the back corner to find Roy waiting for her, a smug look on his face. Damn him! "Not a word," she warned as she walked past him into the day room, then stopped abruptly as she spotted her father sitting at the table with Captain Stanley. "Dad?"

Tony looked up and she noted how his eyes lit with joy, "There's my baby girl."

She crossed to him and wrapped her arms around him in a backwards hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by to congratulate you on your second anniversary here at 51."

Slowly, Gen released him as she caught the warning look in his girlfriend, Nancy's eyes. Something more was definitely amiss. "Dad, my two year anniversary is next week." She slid into the seat next to him and eyed him with caution,

"Well, I know, but I was in Los Angeles today, so I thought I'd take the opportunity."

"And just why are you in Los Angeles today, dad?"

A moment of silence fell between them and Gen's skin began to prickle with fear. "Dad?"

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "If I tell you, you have to promise not to get all twisted out of sorts."

"You know I can't make that promise." she replied.

"What I know is that you have a tendency to overreact and I what I'm about to tell you is really no big deal."

"I'll decide if I think it's a big deal or not. Now spit it out already, because you're starting to scare me."

"I came to LA to see a cardiologist."

Gen's own heart skipped a beat. "What's wrong with your heart?"

"Now it's nothing big."

"Really? It's nothing big, but your doctor who is in San Diego sent you to see a cardiologist in Los Angeles? I'd say that's big," Gen argued. "Now tell me."

He held up his hands. "Okay, okay. Lately, I've been having some odd chest pains and shortness of breath. I went to the doctor and after running some tests they found a malfunctioning heart valve. My doctor thought it would be best to see a specialist deals with a certain type of heart condition, which is why I'm in LA."

She leaned back in the chair, cast a quick glance at Nancy and gauged by the look on Nancy's face that he was still leaving something out. "What kind of heart condition?"

"He said I have what is known as Dock's murmur."

On his statement Gen's fear ratcheted up several notches. "Let me get this straight…he said you have a left anterior descending artery stenosis? Is that right?"

Tony nodded.

"And you're sitting here instead of being admitted to the hospital? What the hell kind of specialist is he?"

Tony pointed a finger at her. "Now, what did I say about not getting all twisted?"

"I am twisted," Gen replied as she studied him a bit closer. He was a little on the pale side and a there was a hint of blue in his fingernails. "What you have is a serious condition that should have immediate treatment. Now why aren't you in the hospital?"

"Because a heart condition, any heart condition, will put me out of the fire department permanently," he replied. "I only have six months until I can take early retirement. Once that happens, then I can have the condition corrected and all will be well."

"Dad!" She popped out of the chair like a cork from a bottle. "You are NOT going to work with this condition for six months."

"That's not your decision to make, young lady." He shook his finger at her as the anger in his eyes flared.

"Like hell it's not," Gen argued. "I should get some say, especially when you're acting like a fool."

"Watch your mouth young lady," Tony warned. "You're not too old for me to put over my knee."

Ignoring him she continued. "Can't you see that you're playing Russian roulette with your life?"

He sighed. "Baby girl, would you please just sit and listen to me for a minute?"

Reluctantly, she eased into the chair. "Fine, I'm listening."

"Okay, now I want you to understand something. Being a battalion chief brings with it some privileges. One being that I no longer have to haul hose, climb ladders or run into burning buildings. As long as I take the medicine prescribed and stay in touch with my doctor everything will be fine."

Fear clawed at Gen's throat as she listened to him talk. How could he be so blasé about his condition? "Dad, maybe you could talk to Uncle Andy. I'm sure he could get you reassigned to some desk duty for the next six months."

"Desk duty?" Tony looked at her as if she'd suddenly sprouted an extra head. "Genevieve, I'm a fireman, not a secretary."

"But?" Why was he being so difficult about this?

Tony shook his head. "But nothing. You'll see, everything will be fine. Now enough of this talk about me. We came here to see you, not to talk about me."

Two hours later Gen sat on her bunk, her chin resting on her knees as she replayed the bombshell her father tossed on her. Had the doctor not informed him as to how serious his condition really was? He couldn't have possibly been playing it down for her benefit. Surely he had to know she'd understand exactly what he was facing. And how in the hell could he show up during her shift and drop something like that on her shoulders? He of all people knew just how distractions could lead to accidents. So why…

She closed her eyes as a thought occurred to her. Maybe he did know exactly what he was facing and maybe…just maybe he'd come to her because he was afraid.

But why would he postpone the surgery if he was scared? God she wished Johnny was there. As odd as it was, he always had a way of calming her nerves and easing her fears when she was upset and right now she was scared out of her mind.

"Gen?"

She looked up to find Roy standing at the curtain.

"You okay?"

Gen shifted on her bed and gave him a nod. "I guess."

"Mind if I sit?"

Gen motioned to the empty spot on her bed.

He eased down next to her. "I know you're upset, but-"

"But nothing," she cut him off. "He's being completely unreasonable about this. He's got a ticking time bomb in his chest and all he can think about is his pension."

"I understand your concern, but you need to consider he's also under a lot of pressure. If he gives up his retirement to fix his heart, then what is he going to live on when he's too old to work?"

"Uncle Andy is upper brass in the SDFD. I know he'd fix it for Dad."

"Yeah, but your father is a proud man, Gen."

She smirked. "Don't I know it? That pride is going to end up killing him."

Roy leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Not necessarily. I mean, he's under the care of a specialist, Gen. Do you think if the doctor was really worried he would have allowed Tony to postpone the surgery?"

Gen shifted on her hip and tucked her legs beneath her. "You don't know my dad. Antonio Conti is one stubborn SOB. He's not going to do anything that he doesn't want to do. No matter what the consequences."

"Okay, so we've established that your dad is proud and stubborn. Just like you. So what can I do to help?"

Gen leaned her head back against the brick half wall and stared at him. "Get Johnny to come back from vacation early."

Roy's brow knit as he stared at her. "Why?"

Gen crossed her arms over her chest. "I need one of his hugs."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Gen sat at the picnic table between Stoker and Chet and watched as Roy participated in the egg run with his two kids. He gingerly ran walked across the competition space with the egg resting on the spoon. "He's gonna drop it," Chet predicted.

"Nah," Gen shook her head. "He'll make it." The one thing she'd come to love about the fireman's picnic was how everyone came together for a day of fun and food and any work politics were left behind. She'd already had conversations with three of the men from eights who used to give her such a hard time when she was there over two years ago.

While each man did apologize once again for how he'd treated her, more important, each man spent time actually talking with her about various subjects and seemed genuinely interested in her opinion. For the first time since she'd joined the department she finally felt as if she were truly one of them. She glanced around the table and smiled as she considered her place. In the two years she'd been assigned to fifty one, she'd come to understand just what it meant to have a family.

Oh sure, when she was younger she'd had her dad and mom and her mother's family, when they actually came to visit, but an extended support system? Until she'd joined fifty one, that concept seemed alien to her. While her dad always regaled about his fire department family, she'd never quite understood the impact it had on his life…until now. God, she was so very lucky to have this men in her life.

Chet gave her a gentle elbow to the ribs, pulling Gen from her thoughts. "Hey, here comes Gage with his latest conquest."

Gen turned her attention in the direction Chet pointed and noted that at least John was still with the same woman he'd been with two weeks ago.

"What's her name?" Mike asked.

Chet smirked. "Does it really matter? She'll be gone in a few days and Johnny will be on to the next poor woman who happens to resemble Gen."

Chet's statement had Gen straightening her spine. "Why do you say that?"

"Oh come on, Genevieve. Don't tell me you haven't noticed," Chet replied.

"Yeah," Marco picked up where Chet left off. "Lately, every girl John dates looks like you."

"Oh they do not," Gen scoffed, but took a moment to study the red head as she walked arm and arm with Johnny. The woman was about the same build as Gen, maybe slightly skinnier. Her long auburn hair curled in ringlets and landed just below her shoulders, much like Gen's hair. She even had a heart shaped face like Gen's. Actually, if she were being completely honest, the resemblance was almost eerie.

John stopped at the end of the table and grinned at them. "Hey guys. You all remember Rebecca."

The rest of the crew nodded and murmured hello's as Gen battled back a sudden wave of jealousy. The fact of the matter was, she'd had an opportunity to be with Johnny and she'd continued to keep him at arm's length, so she had absolutely no right to be jealous. Just because she didn't date, didn't mean Johnny shouldn't. If he wanted to satisfy his needs with a different woman every week that was his business. So what if he'd said he loved her and wanted to be with her? It was unfair to expect him to remain unattached simply because she was.

A sudden image of him in bed with Rebecca flashed through Gen's mind causing the jealousy she worked so hard to deny to flare, leaving a trail of charred emotions in its wake. Damn her over active imagination anyway. Needing a moment to get her emotions under control, Gen stood and stepped away from the table. "Excuse me for a minute."

Before anyone could reply, she turned and headed for the small pond on the far side of the park. Maybe she'd go sit with the ducks for a few minutes while she had a stern talk with herself. Half way to the pond she changed directions as she spotted her father stepping from his vehicle. He made it! Her steps slowed as she quickly realized Nancy wasn't with him. What in the world was going on? Nancy always went everywhere with her dad.

Once again, she picked up speed and nearly threw herself into his arms as she reached him. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"I told you I'd be here," Tony replied.

Gen pulled back and took a quick moment to assess him. From all outside appearances he looked well. "You still on your medicine?"

He frowned. "Yes, miss worry wart. I'm still on my meds. In fact I just had an appointment with the cardiologist this morning, which is why I'm late getting here."

"And?" Gen prompted as she slid her arm around his and began to walk.

"And so far so good," Tony replied. "The murmur hasn't gotten any worse and the meds are controlling the symptoms. So I have two months down and only four to go, until you can finally stop worrying about me."

She leaned into him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I always worry about you, dad."

"I know, baby girl. I know you do and I wish you wouldn't."

"I can't help it," she replied. "I love you and I don't want to see anything bad happen. Say," she glanced back at the car with the hope she'd see Nancy emerge from inside. "Where's Nancy?"

Tony's steps slowed and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Uh oh," Gen murmured. "I know that sigh. What happened?"

"She left me." Tony's reply had Gen pulling to a stop.

"What do you mean she left you? Why did she leave?"

Tony's frown deepened as he turned to face her. "She was upset because I refused to get the surgery right away and she threatened to tell Andy. I told her I knew what I was doing and she needed to stay out of it."

"Oh Dad." Gen shook her head. Sometimes the man could be so damn stubborn. "So she's not here because you two are fighting over this?"

"We're not fighting, honey. It's over Genevieve. She's gone. She said no matter how much she loved me, she refused to stand by and watch me kill myself."

Gen stared at her dad and noted the sadness in his eyes. "You really did love her didn't you?"

Tony nodded. "Not as much as I loved your mom, but yes, I loved Nancy, but she didn't love me as much as I thought she did."

"Why?" Gen pushed. "Because she didn't stand by you when we both know you made a bad decision?"

The sadness in Tony's eyes disappeared. In its place a warning look of impatience appeared. "Now don't start with me, Genevieve. I came here to spend an enjoyable day with my daughter and her extended family. If you're going to harp on me about my decision then I'll just leave now."

Gen shook her head and slid her arm back through his. "I won't harp. I want you to stay."

"Good." He patted her hand as they once again began to walk. "Because I'd really like to spend some time getting to know your crew a bit better. You always talk so highly of them, I'd like to see for myself if they're as great as you boast."

"They are."

Tony chuckled. "I'm sure they are.' He paused and arched a brow. "Say, who's the red-head with Johnny?"

"That's his latest girlfriend, Rebecca."

"Girlfriend, huh?"

Tony stared at the woman. "Is it just me or does she look at lot like you?"

Johnny grabbed a soda, glanced back to where Rebecca sat talking with Alyssa then headed for the small area of bleachers to watch the impromptu softball game. As he made his way to the stands he spotted Gen's dad sitting on the bottom corner seat. "Mind if I join you, Mr. Conti?"

"Not at all John." Tony patted the metal bench. "Have a seat."

Johnny eased down onto the bench, turned his attention to the field and nearly smirked when he spotted Gen on first base. "It figures that she'd be right in the middle of the game instead of off sitting with the women."

Tony chuckled. "That's my girl for you. Always going against convention."

Johnny grinned and nodded. "Isn't that the truth?"

"She's never been one to really follow conventional thinking or do what everyone expected of her."

Johnny watched as Stoker made contact with the ball and Gen took off for second base. She stopped on the base, turned to look at Hillman from one sixteen and grinned. Johnny's heart did a little flip in his chest as she stared after her. He hadn't seen her smile like that since before she'd found out about her dad's illness two months earlier. Damn if it wasn't good to see her smiling again. "She's definitely one of a kind."

"Can I ask you a question?"

Johnny pulled is attention back to Tony. "Sure. Shoot."

"How do you feel about my daughter?"

The question caused Johnny to pause and he slid a sideways look at Gen who made a run for third base on Dwyer's ground ball. "She's my best friend."

"Yes, I understand that fact, but what I want to know is how do you feel about her?"

Johnny watched her for a second more, then glanced at the ground as he considered exactly how to answer the question. The last thing he wanted to do was give Gen's dad any false hope for a possible relationship. Due to her reluctance he'd already given up on that idea and decided to move on.

Still, the circumstance didn't change how he really felt about her. He lifted his head and met Tony's gaze. "I love her, a lot."

Appearing to understand his conundrum, Tony nodded. "I had a feeling." He shifted a little so he faced Johnny. "My baby girl, well…she has some issues with letting anyone get too close to her. It goes back to when her birth parents died. She's been in therapy and worked hard to overcome her issues, but it's hard for her to trust people."

"She trusts us every day she comes to work," Johnny replied.

Tony gave him a small smile. "Believe it or not, but that's a different type of trust."

He reached out and placed a hand on Johnny's arm. "This is what I know for sure. Never, in all her life, has she ever allowed an outsider to get as close to her or mean as much to her as you do. By the way she talks about you, I know that deep down she really does love you and if you really love her, you're going to need to be patient with her."

"It's been two years, Mr, Conti," Johnny replied, "I'm not sure how much longer I can wait."

Tony pursed his lips and nodded. "Believe me I understand. My girl, well…she can erect some pretty big walls and it takes a lot to break those walls down. You're good for her, Johnny and I'd love to someday have you as my son-in-law, so please, don't give up on her, okay?"

How could he possibly deny a plea like that? "Okay. I won't give up on her."

Tony smiled. "That's all I ask."

The crack of the bat contacting the ball brought both their attention back to the game. Marco took off for first as Gen raced toward the plate. Michener from eight's protected the plate, blocking it with his body. Gen never slowed down as she plowed into him, taking them both to the ground. She rolled, smacked her hand on the plate then curled into the fetal position and didn't move.

In a flash, Johnny was up and running. He skirted the entrance to the field and rushed toward home plate. "Move guys," he ordered as everyone hovered over Gen. By the time he reached her she was sitting up talking to Michener.

"Are you okay?" Johnny asked as he crouched next to her.

She nodded. "Just knocked the wind out of me." She raked a hand through her hair.

"You sure?" he asked as he curled a finger beneath her chin forcing her face up so he could inspect her for injuries. "You're lips bleeding?"

She lifted a hand, pressed it to her lip and stared at the blood on her fingers. "So it is."

He eyed her. "You sure you're okay?"

Gen nodded. "I'm fine."

"You're one tough chick, Conti," Michener said as he stood and began wiping the dust off. "I always knew you were." He reached out and offered a hand up. "Just wish I'd had the opportunity to work with you without all the drama, cause I bet you're a damn fine fireman."

Gen took his hand and allowed Michener to pull her to her feet. "Thanks. That means a lot."

"No problem," Michener replied, then turned to Chief Miller who'd taken on the task of umpiring the game. "So? Was she safe or out?"

"Safe," Chief grinned.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

"I still can't believe that guy." Gen slammed the squad's passenger door and headed for the day room. After nearly two and a half years on the job, she'd responded to a lot of calls and seen many a bizarre situation. So far this one took the taco. She hadn't been in the best of moods when she'd arrived to work earlier in the day, but after dealing with the abhorrent man her mood immediately went south and stayed there.

"Look, I understand what you're saying, Gen, but it's really not worth getting yourself all worked up," Roy argued, his voice carrying inside the apparatus bay. "It's not like you're going to change his opinion any time soon."

"Well I am worked up." She walked into the day room and straight over to the cabinet to pull out a glass. She'd love to have a stiff drink, but at this point she'd have to settle for milk.

"Really, Gen," Johnny began. "Like Roy said it's not worth getting upset over."

"What's not worth getting upset over?" Chet craned his neck to look between Gen and Johnny.

"Oh this run we were just on." Johnny followed after her.

"The guy was a bigot." Gen yanked open the refrigerator and removed the milk.

"What do you mean bigot?" Marco asked.

"Well." Roy answered. "She means prejudice in the truest sense."

"No kidding," she replied as she poured the milk. "He took one look at me and Johnny and demanded that we call another squad, one without a half-breed and a woman. Can you believe that?" She yanked open the fridge door a second time to replace the carton.

"You're kidding?" Captain Stanley leaned back in his chair and expression of shock crossing his face.

"She's not kidding," Roy confirmed. "And while we're trying to convince him to let us treat his wife, she's laying on the floor dying of what ended up being a pulmonary embolism."

"Were you finally able to treat her?" Cap asked.

Roy nodded. "After some hard convincing he eventually let Gen help me with her."

"Yeah." Johnny rocked back on his heels. "Not before Gen let him have it with both barrels, though."

"What do you mean let him have it?" Cap eyed her warily. "What did you do?"

"I simply told him he was being a damn fool and that I hoped his prejudice ways were worth his wife's life, because if she died it would be his fault since he prevented us from being able to help her."

"You mean you didn't use any of that black belt training on him?" Chet looked disappointed.

Gen scoffed at his question. "Of course not. That's not to say he couldn't have used a good ass kicking, but I was there to heal not harm."

Roy nodded. "Of course that's not to say she didn't have any effect. The guy pondered on her words for a minute before okaying her to help me."

Gen's face screwed into a frown. "Yeah, but he still refused to let Johnny touch her." She thumped the table with her fist. "It just makes me so mad. He totally condemned Johnny because he's half Indian. Like Johnny somehow had a choice of what race he'd be born." She shook her head.

"Sounds to me like your angrier about how he treated Johnny than how he treated you," Chet observed.

"Well, yeah, I guess I am. I'm used to men casting prejudice against me because I'm a woman. I mean look at the situation with Barlow." She still couldn't believe that had been over a year ago already. "How is it that in this day and age there are still people like that guy that still exist?"

Her question met silence as the men glance around the room at each other. More frustrated than she should be, Gen shook her head. "Yeah, I know. If there was an answer to that question, then there would be a solution."

"Like I said, it's not worth getting all upset." Roy replied.

"Oh," Chet snapped his finger. "I almost forgot. Johnny, _Pamela_ called? She said she was real sorry, but she was going to have to break her date tomorrow night and to call her when you got a chance."

Pamela? Gen's sour mood took another nose dive. Three weeks ago he'd been dating a woman by the name of Kimberly. Before that it had been Rebecca and before that… She leaned back against the counter and scowled. Ever since he'd come back from vacation he'd started this pattern of dating that left him with little time for her. What exactly did he see in those women anyway?

"I thought you were dating a woman named Kimberly?" Roy asked.

"That was a few weeks ago," Johnny replied.

"Two weeks ago," Chet replied. "But who's counting?"

Disgusted and angry, Gen set her milk on the counter. "I need some fresh air." Without looking at Johnny she stormed out of the day room directly to the back lot where she began to pace.

What business was it of hers if Johnny wanted to date a different woman every week? After all, it wasn't as if he'd promised himself to her. They were friends. That's all. So if he needed to get his jollies somewhere else? Who was she to judge?

_You've had this argument before._ Her subconscious reminded. _Why can't you just admit the truth?_ "Because there's nothing to admit," she mumbled as she raked a hand through her hair. "Just let it go."

_Why? So you can go back to thinking about the bigot or worse?_ She sighed and closed her eyes as she paused next to the hose rack. Why did she have this terrible feeling that something bad was going to happen? Maybe she just needed to distress. Gen took a few steps forward then set herself and began working through various karate forms. One of the things she always loved about karate was how the art could help center her when she felt out of balance. Today she was so out of balance she felt like a damn tilt-o-whirl.

It wasn't long before she felt the stares from her co-workers, but she didn't stop until sufficiently winded. Roy threw her a towel as she walked toward them. "Thanks."

"No problem. You feel any better now?"

Unfortunately her attempt a re-balancing her chi wasn't working. "Not really," she grumped.

"Anything we can do to help?" Johnny asked.

_Yeah, stop dating every floosy that steps into your path._ Gen paused and looked up at her partners. Even if she didn't agree with Johnny's dating patterns, he was still her partner and it felt good to know that he still cared. She shook her head. "Not unless you can restart my day."

Her statement pulled a frown from Johnny. "Why? What would that accomplish?"

"Maybe I'd wake up in a better mood the second time around."

"So you woke up in this mood?"

"It's more than just a mood," Gen corrected. "I woke out of a sound sleep this morning with a feeling something was wrong. I walked around my apartment and checked the doors and windows, but nothing seemed to be remiss. I even made an early morning call to my father." Gen shook her head. "I about scared the hell out of him calling that early."

"So everything is fine and your instincts were wrong?" Roy asked.

Gen shrugged. "I suppose, but I still can't shake this uneasy feeling. Something isn't right and I can't put my finger on it."

Just then the tones sounded and Gen tossed her towel toward the closet. She'd have to take care of her mess after they got back. _Station 51, Station 18, Truck 127, Battalion 14, structure fire, 6010 Narberth, six-zero-one-zero Narberth, cross street Wilson, time out 11:22._

Captain Stanley grabbed the mic. "Station 51 KMG-365."

He handed the paper through the window to Roy who handed it to Gen. She held it up for Johnny to see as the squad and engine rolled out of the station. "Isn't that the old cardboard manufacturing warehouse that closed down last year?" Johnny asked as he frowned at the address.

"Yeah," Roy's somber reply sent a chill crawling along her skin. It took a lot to get Johnny and Roy worried, so when they were concerned, Gen knew enough to be concerned too.

When they rolled onto the scene Gen's heart jumped and her adrenaline flowed. Flames danced along the roof on the far side of the abandoned warehouse and smoke poured from the upper windows. If they didn't move fast there would be no saving the structure.

She slid from her seat, grabbed her turn out from the squad's compartment and her SCBA, and ran toward Captain Stanley. "Gen, go with Marco and take a line in through the far door and watch your heads. That roof is still intact right now, but if it looks like it's about to go, get out."

"Yes sir." Gen ran to where Marco was already hauling the charged line toward the door. "Let's go."

Intense heat surrounded them the moment they walked through the door. With one hand on Marco's back and the other steadying the line she pushed forward, doing her best to ignore the ominous feeing still plaguing her. Marco worked the area, varying his spray pattern and pushing back the flames. After ten minutes Gen tapped him on the shoulder and took point, giving him a much needed rest.

She picked up from where he left off and began pushing further into the building. Flames licked along the ceiling several feet above her head and she did her best to squelch them. A stack of pallets to her right caught a spark and the dry wood ignited, sending sparks and flames spewing in all directions.

Gen turned the hose toward the pallet just as a familiar creaking cut through the air. Before she could react Marco yelled and she tumbled forward as part of the ceiling began raining down on them.

She hit the ground hard as something scalded her at the base of her neck. Instinct had her wiping at the area, in a fight to rid whatever was burning her. It took her another few seconds to fight through the debris piled on top of her. Finally she was free. She turned to find only burning debris with no Marco in sight. _No!_ For a split second, panic grabbed her by the throat before she managed to get her emotions under control. She searched and found the handy talkie a few feet away and scrambled to reach it.

"Engine 51, this is fireman Conti. The ceiling collapsed. Fireman Lopez is trapped."

"10-4, Gen, we're sending help."

She stuffed the handy talkie into her pocket and began hauling away the debris. _Please be alive, Marco. Please!_ Within seconds Johnny, Roy and Chet all joined her.

"What happened," Johnny yelled through is mask.

"The ceiling gave." Gen pointed up as realization struck. "Marco pushed me out of the way."

It didn't take long for them to dig through the pile. "I got him," Gen yelled as she spotted Marco's arm. They all concentrated on the area she was working and before long was carrying an unconscious Marco out of the building.

Gen ran for the squad and pulled the biophone and drug box as Johnny grabbed the oxygen.

She set up the biophone and called in. "Rampart this is squad 51, how do you read?"

Before they'd taken all of Marco's vital signs he was awake. "Oh man, what happened?" He grabbed for his head only to have Johnny stop him. "You had a ceiling collapse on you."

"Ceiling?" Marco's face screwed into a frown as he appeared to struggle with the memory. "The ceiling!" His eyes went wide. "Genevieve. She was in front of me. Where is she?" He tried to sit up and was blocked by Roy. "Is she okay?"

"I'm fine, Marco." Gen turned so that he could see her.

"Oh, thank goodness." Marco eased back

"You pushed me out of the way."

Marco nodded.

"Why did you do that?"

"I didn't want you getting hurt."

"So instead you're hurt." Gen argued.

"I don't think he's that bad," Johnny offered.

"But if he hadn't pushed me away," Gen shot back.

"Then you'd be laying here too," Johnny corrected as he eyed her with a stern look that Gen knew meant knock off the arguing.

"I'm okay," Marco offered.

"Yeah, but you're still going to Rampart to get checked out." Roy motioned to the ambulance attendants.

"How about you?" Johnny turned to Gen. "I know you said Marco pushed you out of the way, but are you hurt anywhere?"

Gen shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Well let's just get your turnout off and take a look, okay?"

Gen pushed his hand away. "I said I was fine."

"And I said I just want to be sure." Johnny held his ground.

"What's going on?" Captain Stanley strode up behind them.

"I want to check Gen over and make sure she's all right," Johnny offered.

"And I'm telling him I'm fine." Gen shot back.

Cap shot her his now infamous 'you will do as I say' look that brokered no room for argument. "Gen you _will_ let Johnny check you over for injuries."

Automatically her shoulders slumped as she capitulated. "Yes, Sir."

"Let's get your gear off." Johnny reached for her turn out, his fingers brushed over the base of her neck and she jumped. "Ouch. John!"

He pulled her turn out off and frowned. "Not injured, huh? Then what is this?"

"What?" Gen turned her head but couldn't see anything.

"You're burned, Genevieve and from the looks of it, fairly badly too."

"What?" She shook her head. "No way."

"Looks like something snuck under your turn out." He reached for the water they used for burns. "Lay back and let me treat that burn. Then you can take a ride with Marco."

Too stunned by the fact that she didn't even know she was injured, she eased back. Eyes wide she stared at Johnny in disbelief. "I guess I was so worried about Marco I didn't even feel it."

"Guess so," Johnny agreed. "Well, the good thing is, the burned area isn't very large, but depending on what the doc says you might miss the rest of this sift."

"Great." Gen murmured.

"Well look at it this way, maybe this incident was your ominous feeling you've been suffering and it will all be smooth sailing from here."

"Yeah, maybe."

Two hours later Gen stepped from the squad and met Cap at the dayroom door. "You okay?" he asked.

"She has a second degree burn on the base of her neck and top of her shoulder," Roy offered. "Dr. Early said it's small enough that she could come back to work, but for her to try and keep it clean and dry."

"How about pain management?" Cap asked. "I can't have you on duty if you're all doped up on pain meds."

"Doc gave me a prescription for something to take when I'm off duty, but while I'm working Tylenol will do."

Seeming satisfied with her answer Cap gave a nod. "If it gets to be too much let me know and I'll call for a replacement. Since I'm already down a man with Marco staying in the hospital, for now I'll let you stay."

"How is Marco," Chet questioned from where he sat on the couch.

"He's fine," Johnny began. "He just has some slight burns on his legs and a mild concussion, but nothing that will keep him down for too long."

"Thank goodness," Gen murmured as another wave of guilt washed over her. If he'd taken cover instead of pushing her out of the way he might not be hurt at all.

"I know that look." Johnny pointed a finger at her.

"What look?" she shot back.

"That, I'm feeling guilty because one of my co-workers is injured look," Johnny clarified.

She started to argue that he was wrong, but couldn't find the words. Finally she shrugged, then immediately wished she hadn't when pain flared. "So what if I'm feeling guilty," she practically snarled as she grabbed at her shoulder.

"You shouldn't," Cap stated. "Any of us would have done the same thing no matter who our partner was, including you. So stop beating yourself up and be thankful that he's going to be okay."

* * *

_Her room was black when she'd awaken coughing. A soft hiss permeated the silence, sending chills crawling up her spine. Gen grabbed her teddy bear, Bosco and slipped from her bed. "Mommy?" She opened the door and let loose a scream as her vision quickly filled with bright orange and red flames. Intense waves of heat forced her to close the door. _

_"__Mommy! Mommy!" she cried. Terror clutched her tiny heart and caused her throat to close. 'I'm scared. Where is mommy?' The evil smoke rolled into her room from beneath her closed door. She ran to her bed and grabbed a blanket and shoved it against the bottom of the door. 'Go away smoke. Go away.'_

_With tears in her eyes she snatched up Bosco and her favorite blanket and raced for her closet. Maybe she'd be safe in there. Maybe the nasty fire wouldn't find her there. Time seemed to stand still as the house groaned and creaked around her. Tears stained her face as she continued to cry for her parents. Why weren't they coming?_

_Her chest and throat hurt, causing her to cough over and over. Still she clung to Bosco, knowing he would never leave her. Then from underneath her closet door came light. It flickered and grew and Gen sank deeper in her closet, clutching her bear and blanket with all her might. 'Go away bad fire. Go away!'_

_The door flung open and she screamed as a man in a black mask reached into the closet for her. His big hands latched onto her tiny frame and he pulled her from her haven. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm going to get you out of here," the man said, his words muted by his mask. _

_"__I want mommy," she whimpered as he clutched her tight and tossed her favorite blanket over her head. _

_"__I know, honey. I know. Let's get you out of here." As he reached for her flames flared and slowly swallowed him until he disappeared._

Gen's eyes flew open and she gasped as she shot up from her bed. _What in the hell was that?_ She'd had that same dream hundreds of times and never once had her father disappeared like that. What did it mean? Hand's shaking she pushed up from the bed and padded to the locker room where she splashed water on her face. The ominous feeling she'd been carrying since awaking the previous morning returned with vengeance. No way would she be able to go back to sleep.

Two hours later she'd cleaned the kitchen, started the coffee and managed to shower and dress before morning tones pulled the others from their sleep. "What are you doing up and dressed already?" Chet asked as he walked into the dayroom.

"Couldn't sleep," Gen replied as she sipped her coffee.

"Who couldn't sleep?" Johnny asked as he walked through the door right behind Chet.

"Gen," Chet replied.

Johnny stopped and turned to her. "Huh? Your burns keep you awake?"

Before Gen could answer the tones sounded a second time tapping out the engine on a call. Now filling in for Marco, she raced for the engine. Hopefully it would be an easy call.

Thirty minutes later Mike backed the engine into the bay and Gen thanked her lucky stars that all they'd had to deal with was a dumpster fire.

Tired, but thankful to have the shift nearly over she headed for the dayroom and another cup of coffee.

What she encountered instead caused her heart to nearly stop. The head of the department Chief Houts and Battalion Chief Pendleton sat at the table with Johnny and Roy. The looks on their faces told her something was very wrong.

"What's going on?"

Chief Houts sighed. "Gen I'm afraid I have some bad news. Assistant Chief Miller from the San Diego Fire Department called this morning. Your dad was critically injured in an early morning fire."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Gen stood stock still and stared at Chief Houts, her brain unable to accept what she'd heard. "T-that can't be," she argued even as a lump began to form in her throat. "He's a battalion chief. He doesn't run into burning building anymore."

Johnny pushed away from the table and walked toward her. "Gen." He reached for her.

"No!" She stepped out of his reach and bumped into Captain Stanley. Wild eyed she looked up at him. "There must be some mistake. He doesn't do that dangerous stuff anymore."

Cap's gaze held sympathy as he placed his hands on her shoulders, holding her in place.

Her attention cut from Cap to Johnny and then to the men at the table. "But he wasn't even on duty yesterday. He was home in bed asleep this morning." With every word her breathing grew more labored as the lump in her throat grew.

Johnny advanced again and took her by the hands. "Honey, you're right, he was home. From what we understand the house across the street from your father's was firebombed. He called in the alarm, then rescued a mother and her two children from the structure before collapsing."

"I-is h-he." She couldn't seem to get enough air and she would have sworn that someone had just punched her in the chest.

"No, but the doctors are saying his condition is grave and you need to get down there right away," Chief Houts replied.

Tears welled as she stared blankly at Johnny. No way could her father be dying. They all had to be wrong. He was her hero and heroes didn't die. She glanced over her shoulder at Cap. "Can I go now?"

Cap nodded. "B shift is already here, so leaving isn't a problem, but I don't think you're in any condition to drive."

"If you're okay with it, I'll take her, Cap."

Captain Stanley nodded. "Go ahead John and keep us informed, okay?"

"Come on, honey." Johnny slowly guided her from the room. "Let's get changed and I'll get you there as soon as possible."

* * *

The drive to San Diego was the longest two and a half hours of Gen's life. Poor Johnny pushed the speed limit whenever possible and struggled to keep conversation up as he drove. Unfortunately, she wasn't in the mood for talking. _Why had he gone into that house alone? _ He wouldn't have had any gear, air tank or any backup.

Johnny pulled into the parking lot at UC San Diego Medical Center and barely managed to get the car in park before Gen had the door open and was racing for the entrance. "Gen." Johnny ran to catch up, then pulled her to a stop. "Genevieve you have to relax. It won't do your father any good to see you so upset."

"Relax!" Gen looked up at him. "How can I relax when I'm terrified that he's going to die?"

"You don't know that," Johnny corrected.

"You heard Chief Houts, John. The doctors said his condition is grave. You know as well as I that Grave means they don't think he's going to survive. He's all I have left, so don't tell me to relax, okay?"

After checking in at the front desk she took the elevator to ICU and spotted Assistant Chief Miller in the waiting room. The Chief had been her father's best friend for as long as Gen could remember. From the time she was little she'd referred to him as Uncle Andy.

"Genevieve." He reached out and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, sugar."

Feeling as if he were her only lifeline, Gen clung to him. "Tell me what happened?"

He pushed her to arm's length and looked down at her. "You know the Diaz family that lives diagonally from your dad?"

Gen nodded. "They moved in about three years ago. The husband travels a lot and they have a daughter who is a paraplegic."

He nodded. "Okay, then you also know how some people in the neighborhood were never very happy about having a Hispanic family move in, right?"

"Right."

"Well, somebody firebombed the front of the house early this morning. Your dad heard the commotion and called in the alarm then went to see if he could help." His look turned somber as he stared down at Gen. "The mother had a newborn plus the older daughter and couldn't carry both. She refused to leave either of her children. Your father managed to talk the woman into taking the newborn and escaping while he carried the daughter to safety. He saved their lives, Genevieve."

Before she could find the words to speak a man dressed in a white coat approached. "Chief Miller has' Mr. Conti's daughter arrived yet?"

"I'm Genevieve Conti." Gen turned to the man.

"Ms. Conti, I'm Dr. Wolfram. I treated your father when he came in."

"How is he?" Gen asked.

"Not good I'm afraid."

"Um, Dr. Wolfram," Gen replied. "I'm a paramedic with the LA County Fire department." She motioned to Johnny. "This is my partner. So please just give it to us straight."

The doctor looked from Gen to Johnny and back. "Very well then. For starters, your father suffered severe smoke inhalation. We've observed black mucus in his upper airway and treated him for pulmonary edema. In addition he's suffered extensive burns on both his legs."

Instinct had Gen reaching for the bandage covering her burn. Her burn was tiny and hurt like hell, she couldn't imagine the pain he must have suffered.

"Most of the burns are second degree with varying grades between mild to severe. The worst is a deep partial thickness burn on his right thigh. In addition, I understand he never had the valve replacement surgery on his heart."

She shook her head. "He insisted that he wait until after his fifty-fifth birthday to have the surgery. Then he was going to take an early retirement. He only has two months to go."

"Well, combine a bad valve with the other injuries and he's got a lot going against him. The stress his other injuries has put on his body has already caused two bouts of ventricular tachycardia, one at the scene and another one after he arrived."

He paused and looked from Gen to Johnny and back. "Like I told Chief Miller, we believe between the already bad valve and the lack of oxygen has caused severe damage to his heart. Miss Conti, I'm very sorry, but with this many injuries, I really don't expect him to make it through the day."

* * *

Leaning on Chief Miller Gen made her way to her father's room. She thought she'd prepared herself for what she was about to see, but she'd been wrong. "Oh Dad," she sobbed as she sank into the chair next to his bed. He was ashen in color and his lips showed a hint of blue. Dual IV's dripped into each arm as the heart monitor softly beeped in the background.

She slid her fingers beneath his and was rewarded with a squeeze of his hand. His head lulled to the side and his eyes slowly fluttered open. "B-baby girl," he wheezed.

"I'm here, Dad." Gen patted his hand.

"I-I'm sorry, princess. I-," he coughed and then moaned.

"Shh…dad. Don't okay. Save your strength for getting better." She blinked back tears. "It's okay. Uncle Andy explained everything. I understand why you did what you did. I would have done the same thing."

Footsteps grew louder and she turned to see Johnny slip into the room. The moment he'd spotted Antonio look on his face when from hope to one of resolve. She knew his trained eye saw the same thing she did, and it wasn't good.

"W-who's here?" Antonio asked.

"It's Johnny, Dad. You remember Johnny, right?"

A small smile crossed Antonio's lips. "I remember. He's a good man to bring you." He sucked in a couple of quick breaths and Gen jumped to her feet.

"Are you in pain? I'll get the doctor."

Antonio squeezed her hand. "No, baby girl. Just sit, okay?"

Sniffling back the need to cry, she sank back into the chair. "Okay. You just rest now, dad. I'm not going anywhere okay?"

He nodded and closed his eyes. "You've always been such a good girl," he whispered. "I'm so proud of you."

"I know, dad." Tears trickled down her cheeks. "Please, just rest."

* * *

For the next three hours Johnny watched helplessly as Antonio's condition slowly worsened. The rattle in his lungs grew louder as did the strain in Gen's face. It couldn't be easy for her to watch her father die. Johnny bowed his head and scuffed his foot along the tile floor. In a way he'd been lucky when his family had been killed in that accident. The police report said they'd died on impact and he'd been too young to really remember much anyway.

He glanced at the clock. When he'd called Cap after they first arrived, he'd promised to call the others and then he'd be on his way down. Hopefully some of the guys would be arriving soon. While John wasn't opposed to be here alone with Gen during such a trying time in her life, having the others to help support her would make everything just a tad easier. The resolution to this situation wasn't going to be pretty and she was going to need all the support they could give her.

"Baby girl." Johnny could barely hear Antonio's scratchy voice over the beeping of the monitor.

"Yes, dad."

"A-Andy has my will. He'll take care of everything."

"Don't, Dad." She pushed to the edge of her chair. "Please don't talk like that."

As if he didn't hear her protest he continued on. "Is John still here?"

She glanced from her father to Johnny, her eyes pleading for help. Johnny stepped near the bed. "I'm here, Mr. Conti."

Antonio nodded. "I need you to make me a promise."

Johnny glanced at Gen, then back to Tony. "Anything, Sir."

"Good. Promise me that you'll take good care of my baby girl." He wheezed and coughed. "Can you do that for me?"

"Absolutely," Johnny affirmed. "I promise I'll take good care of her."

Tony gave a slight nod again. "Good." He turned his head toward Gen. "I know the fire department is important to you, princess, but promise me you won't let it consume you."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You're young and beautiful," he gasped. "You deserve to find love, Genevieve. Get married, have a family and live a happy life. Promise me you'll do these things."

Eyes wild and glistening with tears she glanced at Johnny then back. "Dad?"

"Promise me," he nearly growled, then coughed hard, sending Gen scrambling to her feet. "I promise. I promise. Now please just relax."

His hand grabbed her by the wrist. "I love you, baby girl."

"I love you too, Dad."

"Y-you're the best thing that ever happened to me." He no sooner finished his sentence when the heart monitor began beeping loudly.

"Dad!" Gen screamed and shook him. "Dad!"

_V Tach!_ Johnny immediately shifted into paramedic mode. "Check for a pulse," he ordered and watched as Gen automatically reached for her father's neck.

"No pulse and he stopped breathing. Oh God." She dropped the bedrail and positioned her feet on the base as she began chest compressions.

Johnny reached for the call button. "Yes, a nurse's voice inquired."

"We have a code blue," Johnny yelled.

"We're aware, sir. Help is on the way."

Johnny pulled the pillow from under Antonio's head and began rescue breathing. Between breaths he glanced over at Gen. Tears streamed down her face, even as a look of determination dominated her features.

Within seconds the door burst open, giving access to several doctors and nurses. "We'll take over," Doctor Wolfram said. He nodded to Johnny. "Wait in the hall please."

Johnny moved in behind Gen. "Gen, honey. Come on."

She shook her head and kept pumping.

"Genevieve," Johnny reached for her. He snagged her bicep and pulled her backward.

"No! Let go." She tried to yank her arm free.

He tightened his grip and began inching toward the door. "Gen we have to let them work."

She continued to fight him even as they reached the hall. He turned and pushed her against the wall. "Genevieve, Stop!" He growled, then immediately felt bad for raising his voice.

Like a deer in headlights she froze. "I-I'm sorry, Johnny. It's just-"

"I know, honey. Believe me, I understand, but we needed to get out of their way so they could work on him."

Gen swallowed hard and looked over at the closed door. "It's just…"

Johnny pulled her against him, held her tight. "I know, honey. I know."

Fifteen minutes passed before the door finally opened. The look the doctor's face told Johnny everything he needed to know.

The doctor wrapped his stethoscope and tucked it into his pocket. "I'm really sorry, Ms. Conti. We did everything we could for him, but there was just too much damage."

Gen stood stock still for a moment before she turned her gaze toward the closed door. "No," she whispered and took a step toward the door. Johnny reached for her, catching her in his arms just as she crumpled to the floor. "God No!" she sobbed and turned her face into his chest as Johnny cradled her in his arms.

He held her as she cried, her body wracking with huge sobs that sent echo's reverberating through him. With is free hand he brushed his fingers through her hair and rested his chin on her head. Nothing he could say would make the situation better. The only thing he could do was hold her. He turned his head and spotted Captain Stanley and Roy at the end of the hallway, each of them holding their wives as they watched.


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry it took so long for the next chapter. Been very busy. Also giving you a tissue alert for this chapter. _

* * *

Chapter 3

Roy turned the corner leading to the intensive care corridor and stopped when Genevieve's cry filled the air. He froze as he watched Johnny reach for her then sink to the floor with her in his arms. She turned to him, buried her face in his chest and sobbed.

"Oh no," Joanne whispered and Roy glanced at her, then over to Cap as he and his wife stopped next to them.

"I was hoping the Chief's information was wrong," Cap murmured. "Looks like no such luck."

Gen clung to Johnny as he held her against him and stroked a hand through her hair. Over the top of her head, he looked up, met Roy's gaze then closed his eyes. The silent communication was all Roy needed to confirm their worst fears. "No, Cap. Unfortunately, they weren't wrong."

Together, they started up the hall, then stopped as the doctor reached for Gen. He helped Johnny lift her, then directed them down the hall. As they walked away a man in a San Diego Fire Department uniform walked toward them. "Can I help you all?"

"We're friends of Genevieve and Johnny's," Roy replied.

Captain Stanley extended a hand. "Hank Stanley. I'm Gen's Captain."

"Andrew Miller," the man replied. "I'm Assistant Chief for the San Diego Fire Department and a close friend of the family."

"Roy Desoto," Roy shook Chief Miller's hand.

"Desoto?" Chief Miller arched a brow. "You're Gen's other partner, right?"

"Right."

"I'm sorry we couldn't meet under better circumstances." Chief Miller sighed.

"Yeah." Roy glanced down the hall toward where the doctor's took Gen. "Where did they take her?"

"Doctor Wolfram's office. They're going to try and calm her down. If that doesn't work it might be necessary to sedate her."

"She's strong, Chief Miller. I think with a little support, she can handle this."

"I hope so," Chief agreed. "Though I'm not sure I'm as sure as you are."

Captain Stanley sighed. "At least Johnny was here for her. I'm glad he volunteered to come."

"Me too," Chief Miller replied. "Tony was a good man. Losing him is hard on a lot of us, but for Gen its complete devastation. I'm hoping that having Johnny here helped just a little."

"Can we see her?" Roy asked.

Chief Miller nodded. "Follow me. Maybe seeing you all will help."

Gently, he pushed open the office door. Roy and Joanne eased inside, followed by Captain Stanley and his wife Emily. Gen sat with her body leaning forward on the couch, elbows on her knees, head resting in her hands. Johnny sat beside her, rubbing a hand along her back. He caught Roy's gaze, his expression one of worry, sadness and something Roy's couldn't quite identify.

"Gen?"

Slowly, she lifted her head and looked at Roy. "Hi, Roy." An eerie feeling slid through him. Just a few minutes ago she was crying hysterically, now she appeared calm, almost detached.

"Honey are you okay? Is there anything we can do for you?" Roy knew the answer to the question before he'd even asked it. After all, what can you really do for someone who just lost a loved one, beside just be there for them?

She gave him a small, sad smile. "Thank you, but no. I'll be fine."

Joanne eased down next to her. "We're really sorry about your father, Genevieve. I know this isn't easy for you."

Gen shook her head. "Thank you, Joanne. You're right, it's not easy, but it is something I should have expected. I mean, look at the type of profession he chose."

Johnny removed his hand from her back. "I'm going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?"

Gen shook her head as Johnny stood. Looking from Roy to Captain Stanley, he nodded toward the door. Emily Stanley slid into the empty space next to Gen that Johnny created. "I know his chosen profession upped his odds for something bad happening, but it's not like it was a guarantee, Genevieve. Look at the number of firemen that retire and live to be old men."

Without waiting to hear Gen's reply, Roy followed Johnny into the hallway and waiting until Captain Stanley closed the door behind them. "What happened?" he asked John.

John sighed long and heavy. "I think I screwed up."

"You?" Cap asked. "What did you do?'

"It's not what I did, Cap. It's what I said that I think is the problem."

"What did you say?' Roy asked.

"Well, I was trying to get her to calm down, so we wouldn't need to make the decision to sedate her. I know how much she hates being sedated. Anyway, I told her that no way would her father want her to be this upset. That he'd want her to remember all the good things he's done and how he saved the lives of that family."

"And?" Cap prompted.

"And she stopped crying," Johnny said. "In fact she seemed to just shut down." He looked from Roy to Cap and back. "Her father once told me that when she's suffering, she has this unique ability to shut people out. I'm afraid she's preparing to do just that."

"She's grieving, Johnny," Roy replied, hoping Johnny's propensity for over dramatizing situations was at play here and he wasn't right. "Everybody grieves differently. Maybe this is her way of dealing with her emotions.

"Maybe," John murmured. "I just hope you're right, because I promised her dad I'd take care of her. If she closes herself off to us, it's going to make keeping that promise very difficult."

* * *

Johnny walked out the front door onto the porch and stopped next to Cap, Roy and Chief Miller. All three stared at the charred shell directly across the street.

"Gen okay?" Cap asked.

Johnny nodded. "Emily and Joanne talked her into taking a nap."

"I'm not sure bringing her here was such a good idea with that just across the street." He pointed to the fire scene. "Nothing like having the reminder slap you in the face every time you walk by a window or out a door."

"I understand your concern," Chief Miller replied. "But she'd have to face it eventually."

"True," Roy replied. "But it might have been better if we could have waited to bring her here until the investigation was done and the site was bulldozed."

"Maybe." Chief Miller rocked back on his heels. "But she wanted to come here."

"It's probably better to get the initial shock over quick and while she's still a bit numb." Johnny replied as he watched members from the San Diego Fire Police comb through what was left of the fire scene. "The sooner she can accept reality, the better."

Chief Miller turned and leaned a hip against the porch rail. "She's a tough girl, but she's also been through quite a bit in her life. She's developed coping mechanisms that are going to make it difficult for the rest of us to help. Tony and Olivia had an immense amount of patience when it came to Gen. If you all really love and care about her, you're going to need to develop that same type of patience and understanding."

Johnny turned his attention from the house to Chief Miller. "We all know that the next few days are going to be incredibly difficult for her."

Chief nodded. "True, but this is going to go well beyond the next few days, John. When Olivia died, it was a few months before Gen finally managed to get back to normal. She was much closer with Tony than she ever was with Olivia, so I'd bet this time is going to be much worse."

"We care about her, Chief," Johnny said. "We won't let anything she does push us away."

* * *

Bleary eyed and only partially coherent, Gen stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at her pitiful reflection. The days following her father's death seemed to be nothing more than a blur of decisions and tears cloaked in a tranquilizer induced haze. There'd been moments, like picking out a casket, where she'd simply been too numb to care. Then in other moments, such as laying out his dress uniform, where she'd broken down and sobbed like a baby. All of it had happened on little sleep and even less food.

She lifted the blush brush to her cheek, paused, then returned it to the counter. There wasn't any point in putting on makeup when she'd just cry it all away. The last thing she wanted was to end up looking like a clown with mascara running down her cheeks.

Despite her lethargic state, she somehow managed to do her hair and returned to her old bedroom to dress. Mrs. Miller, Mrs. Stanley, Joanne, even her father's ex-girlfriend Nancy had all urged her to dress in black. Instead she'd chosen her dress uniform. She'd never been much for wearing dresses and high heels and today was going to be difficult enough without being stuck in a dress and high heels.

She snatched her hat off the dresser and walked across the hallway to her father's room. The covers still lay crumpled from where he'd leaped from bed several nights before, the last evidence of a life taken all too soon. As she walked over to the window, she dropped her hat on the edge of the bed, then leaned a shoulder against the wall and peered through the glass.

Across the street the burned out shell of what was once the Diaz home mocked her. He would have had a perfect view of the ensuing chaos, she realized. She closed her eyes and tried to picture what he'd seen and heard that early morning. Had there been shouts? Squealing tires from the perpetrators racing from the scene of destruction? An explosion?

Had the intense heat caused the windows to shatter? Just what had roused her father from his slumber? Slowly her eyes fluttered open and once again she stared at the charred remains. Poor Mrs. Diaz had probably been scared out of her mind as she'd clung to her babies, hoping someone would rescue them from the inferno. She knew that feeling of helpless terror, remembered it well. It was just another reason why she'd choses the profession she had. Slaying the beast meant taking back control and forcing fear into hiding.

Without regard for his safety, her father had become that someone, and in the process had managed to save three people. It was his final selfless act, but it had also been the way he would have wanted to leave this world.

"Gen?"

At the sound of her name she turned to see Chief Miller in the doorway, hat in hand. "Honey, it's time."

With a hard swallow and a nod, she swiped her hat from the edge of the bed and walked to the doorway. Pausing, she glanced back in the room and then closed the door.

They arrived at the funeral home where her father's casket was loaded into the car, then the procession made their way to the church where her mom and dad had been members for as long as she could remember. All the way there she'd wished the guys could have been here with her, but they had shift today. No way would the department let them all come.

Various apparatus began appearing as they neared the church. Parked in a row along the street, trucks from departments across the county and state came to pay their respects. The men from each vehicle stood at attention as the procession slowly drove by. Gen quickly blinked back tears as she spotted the squad and engine 51 in line directly behind her father's engine company. In front of the vehicles were her crew in their dress blues standing at attention. They came! She wanted nothing more than to jump from the car and run to them. Only that wouldn't be what was proper or expected.

The car came to a stop and she'd no sooner climbed out before Chief Miller quickly ushered her inside, but not before she heard shouts from the press. Her father's heroics, combined with the fact that the fire had been an act of hate, had media outlets clamoring over the story.

As the service began she strained to see where her guys were sitting, but couldn't find them. Instead she'd had the displeasure of meeting one of her father's brothers in a stare that told her she was still hated.

For a moment she swore she could hear her adopted grandmother's voice. If God chose for you not to have children then you must not go against his will. Besides, our family does not adopt misfits, Antonio. I can't believe you've tainted our good name with that little Russian cast off.

That had been the first, last, and only time she'd come to visit and not long after he'd cut ties with nearly all of his family. Instead of sending Gen back to the foster home, he'd isolated himself from his family in order to raise her. Breaking gaze first, she turned to face the front and concentrated on getting through the service without ending up a crying mess. No use in crying since it doesn't change anything anyway.

Half way through the service the preacher paused and motioned for Genevieve to step forward. On shaky legs she stood and made her way to the podium overlooking her both her father's casket and the crowd. From this vantage point she was able to see her crew sitting toward the back of the church. She drew strength from seeing them, a strength she desperately needed.

"First I want to thank you all for coming today. It means so much to know that my father had so many friends and colleagues in his life and that you would all take time out of your busy schedules to honor him. From the moment the word eulogy was uttered during the planning of the service I knew I wanted to be the one to eulogize my father. My reasons were simple and maybe even a little selfish. You see, while many of you have been his friends longer that I've been alive, he was my father."

With shaky hands she slowly unfolded the paper she'd scribbled notes on the day before.

"My father was a great man in many ways. He had a smile that could light up a room, an infectious laugh and a determination unlike anyone I've ever known. He loved people. Loved helping others and loved his job as a fireman. He was a hero for many, rescuing them from burning buildings, car accidents and various other life changing events. Yet he was humble to the end. So many times I've heard him say that he was 'just doing his job.' Still, there was no changing the fact that some people's lives were made better because of his selfless acts. Mine was one of them."

She paused and took a deep breath in an attempt to steady her nerves. What she was about to say most knew, but it wasn't something she ever liked to discuss. "When I was just five years old, I awoke one night to strange sounds and smells filling the darkness of my room. Sleepily, I climbed from my bed, intent on finding my parents, but when I opened the door a monster raged on the other side." A visible shiver rippled through her body before she could continue. "I slammed the door and screamed for my parents. When they didn't come I cried. You can't imagine the abject terror and abandonment I felt when I realize I was all alone. I grabbed my favorite teddy and crawled into the closet."

She smirked a little at the thought. "Of course in the mind of a 5 year old if I couldn't see the fire then it couldn't find me. But as all of us know that isn't the case. As I sat in the smoke filled dark with my teddy bear and blanket I cried, hoping somehow my parents would come get me."

Gen shook her head as that familiar feeling of emptiness and grief filled her once again. "They never did. Instead, a man wearing a black hat and scary looking mask appeared. He found me cowering in the back of the closet and promised to get me to safety." She sucked in a ragged breath as she struggled to keep her voice from cracking. "On a promise to take care of me, he scooped me into his arms and carried me out of the only home I'd ever known. Once outside I sat inside the passenger seat of the fire engine and watched as the blaze consumed the structure with my parents still inside."

A tear dripped from her cheek to the paper and she quickly swiped at her face. "Y-you would think that once the fire was out and I was whisked away to the hospital that's where his job would have stopped." She shook her head. "It didn't though. He came to visit me, first in the hospital, then later at the children's home and when he realized they'd found no family to claim me, he opened his heart once again, took me in, and gave me a new home."

Despite her best efforts to stop them, the tears came faster now, blurring her vision as she tried to focus on the paper. She sucked back a sob and steeled her spine. "He never broke that promise he made to a scared little girl and under his care and guidance she has grown into the woman standing before you, devastated, heartbroken, and proud as hell to call the man laying before you, father. To all of you he was Antonio Conti, neighbor, co-worker and friend. To me he was more than all of those things, more than just my father. He was my hero."

She barely managed to get the last word out before a sob choked off her words. Chief Miller climbed the steps to the podium and helped her back to her seat where she struggled to keep her regain her composure as the service concluded.

It wasn't until they reached the cemetery before Gen managed to break away and find her crew. Captain Stanley approached her first, arms open. "I'm so sorry, honey."

She practically threw herself into his arms and clung to him as if her life depended on him. "I know, Cap. You have no idea how much it means to me for you guys to be here."

Slowly he released her and Stoker was next to scoop her into his arms. "Cap talked headquarters into standing us down so we could come."

She jerked her head in Cap's direction. "How did you manage to do that?"

Johnny smiled as he took her out of Mike's arms. "He simply pointed out what great PR it would be for the department to show support for one of its own during trying times."

For the first time all day Gen smiled as she sank into Johnny's embrace. "That was smart and I'm glad they let you all come." It felt good to be in his arms again and she lingered a bit longer than maybe she should have, but right now she desperately needed his strength.

"Gen?" Chief Miller's voice cut into their conversation and she lifted her head off Johnny's shoulder to look at him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we're ready to proceed."

Gen nodded. "I want my crew with me for the rest of the service."

Chief Miller looked from her to the guys and smiled. "Absolutely." He motioned for them to walk ahead and being the stoic daughter she knew her father would want her to be, Gen held her head high as she reached her seat in front of the casket.

She made it through the reading of the fireman's prayer, the bagpipes and handing her the flag from his coffin, but her strength waned when they began the bell ceremony signifying the end of the emergency and the return to quarters. Captain Stanley, who took the seat next to her, gently pulled her into his arms where she held the folded flag tight against her and quietly sobbed against his chest as they lowered her father's casket into the ground.


	6. Chapter 6

Gen pulled into her parking spot behind the station, put the car in park and turned off the engine. She rested her head on the steering wheel and blew out a breath. No one could possibly understand how absolutely exhausted she felt. It had been exactly two weeks since her father's death and while the pain was still fresh, it at least was now manageable.

In her attempt to settle her father's estate, she'd taken as much bereavement time as the department allowed. Unfortunately so much still remained, though she was making progress. Her father's will was filed, his bank accounts frozen, and the utilities all notified. The house was now locked up tight while she awaited the reading of his will, but not before she'd removed important documents and jewelry and placed them in a safety deposit box. While her so-called Aunt and Uncles had no legal rights to anything in the home, she wouldn't put it past them to break in and take what they wanted. They wouldn't get much beyond furniture and clothing, since she'd made sure anything of value or importance was now in safe keeping.

Now it was time to get back to work and hopefully back to some sort of normalcy in her life. She exited her vehicle and crossed the parking lot, noting how everyone was already there. _Guess I got latrine duty today_ she mused and headed for the locker room. Not that she minded. Even latrine duty would provide her with a sense of routine she'd been missing.

Chet's voice carried through the swinging door. "So this kid is taunting me in front of Nikki and I couldn't let that happen." Gen grinned at the excitement in his voice, then pushed through the door. All attention turned in her direction, smiles faded, and Chet stopped mid-sentence as he eyed her with concern.

"Good morning," she managed.

"Uh…morning," Johnny replied as he began buttoning up his uniform shirt.

"How are you doing?" Roy placed a hand on her shoulder.

She turned her gaze to him and smiled. "I'm tired, still a little sad, and very glad to be coming back to work."

Roy nodded. "Fair enough."

She turned back to Chet. "I heard you talking as I came in. Please continue."

Chet shifted from one foot to the other. "Are you sure?"

Gen's smile widened at the hint of concern in his tone. "Yes, Chet, I'm sure. I know you are all worried about me and I really am touched by your concern, but please don't start acting weird around me or you'll give me a complex. Okay?"

His lips slowly turned upward. "Okay." He turned back to his still captive audience. "So anyway, like I was saying, I'm not going to let this punk kid taunt me like that in front of my girl, so I challenge him to a sand castle build off."

Gen didn't bother to hide her grin as she shook her head and walked past the guys to her locker. While it was a bit difficult to realize that life for others continued on while hers had all but screeched to a stop, it was also refreshing, and in a way, reassuring to hear Chet regale about his latest adventure.

"Tell me you didn't let some ten year old kid beat you," Johnny said.

"Come on John. You know me better than that." Chet shot back. "I built this fantastic sand castle that put his to shame and had Nicki cooing in admiration."

"So, I guess you showed that kid, huh?' Marco asked.

"Ah, but it gets better my friend." Gen could almost picture Chet wagging his finger in the air at Marco as she changed behind the curtain. "After spotting my sand castle, this guy came up and started talking to me. Turns out he's some judge for a sand castle building competition that's being held the week after next Saturday. He said I had real talent and encouraged me to enter the contest. Since we don't have duty that day I figured why not? First prize is one hundred and fifty bucks."

"A hundred and fifty bucks for playing in the sand?" Roy clarified.

"Well I just don't believe it." Johnny muttered.

"Believe it, Johnny and I'm allowed to have a teammate." He slapped his hands together. "Any of you want to volunteer?"

Before anyone could answer the klaxon sounded and Gen scrambled to finish tucking in her shirt as she slammed the locker door with her hip before racing for the squad.

_Station 51, Station 8, Truck 18, structure fire. 5121 Madison Street. Five-one-two-one Madison. Time out 07:15._

Gen retrieved her turnout gear from the closet then slid into the seat right before Johnny. Hopefully the call wouldn't be as bad as it sounded.

* * *

Less than five minutes later they arrived on scene to find a two story house fully involved and threatening the structure next door.

Cap jumped from the rig and began shouting orders. "Chet and Marco, take a line directly through the front door. Gen, grab an inch and a half and set up to protect that house next door. Roy, you and John grab a line and take the other side."

Gen pulled a hose, set up and motioned for Stoker to charge the line. Aiming high, she sprayed a steady stream of water at the flames dancing through the side windows and threatening the house next door. She'd barely begun hosing down the heat warped siding when a shout caused her to look back. A woman ran toward Cap shouting that there were still people inside.

"Roy, John." Gen watched as Cap looked her direction and waited for him to call her too. Instead he hesitated then said. "We have people trapped inside. You two think you can handle it?"

Johnny nodded and immediately headed for the house followed closely by Roy. _What about me?_ Gen turned her attention back to the hose and a scowl slid across her face. Why hadn't cap called her too? Over the months since she'd been with 51 they'd fallen into a comfortable routine with her spending the majority of her time working on the squad with Johnny and Roy. Only during times when Chet or Marco was gone had she been tethered to the engine instead. So why was this time different?

Johnny appeared with one victim who, while being carried, appeared to be awake and coherent. He set the teenage boy on the ground, said something to him then turned and ran back for the house. Gen's stomach dropped as she glanced from the boy to the house and then turned her attention back to the line. Why wasn't Cap at least calling her to help with the victim now safe from the flames?

* * *

Taking her time, Gen drove toward Rampart for the sole purposed of picking up her two partners. She'd been more than a bit irked at Cap for keeping her tied to the hose while Johnny and Roy rescued those three people and provided medical care. Only after it was determined that both paramedics would have to ride in with the victims did he pull Gen from the line and send her after them in the squad.

_Your title is utility person, Gen. Cap can put you wherever he wants._ She frowned at that thought as she drove through the building access to the emergency entrance. Technically she was the 'Utility Man' which meant she went where he needed her most. This was the first time since she'd started that he'd kept her hauling hose when she could have worked with the squad.

She backed the squad into the empty spot between the two ambulances, turned off the engine and pushed open the door. _Maybe Cap is questioning your ability to function as a paramedic?_ As soon as the thought materialized she shook it off. Cap knew her abilities and trusted her just as much as any of the guys. There had to be another reason why he'd kept her on the hose. Maybe she'd ask Johnny and Roy their opinions on the situation.

She glanced to her left at the waiting room as she turned the corner and immediately smacked into something large. Caught off guard, Gen stumbled backward as a tray filled with various metal containers clattered to the floor.

Realizing she'd just crashed into someone, her gaze immediately dropped to the debris on the floor. "Oh, I'm so sorry." She crouched down and reached to pick up a metal jar. "I should have been looking-" She glanced up as she returned the jar to the tray and found herself peering into the clearest blue eyes she'd ever seen. "w-where…I…was…going."

"It's okay, really," the man smiled back. "Are you okay? You didn't get hurt when you ran into me, did you?"

Absently, she stared as him for several seconds before her brain finally kicked in gear. "Huh, hurt? Um…no, no. I'm not hurt."

His grin widened as he scooped the last of the clutter onto the tray and stood. "That's good. I certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for injuring such a beautiful lady." He extended a hand. "You must be Genevieve."

Now curious, she let a small smile show as she took a moment to study the man in front of her. He was lean and tall with broad shoulders which tapered to a trim waist. His blond hair just touched his ears, giving him a bit of a surfer look. "I must be, but how would you know who I am?"

He dropped his hand to his side and rocked back on his heels. "That is a fire department uniform, right?"

"Right?" She arched a brow.

"Well, as far as I know there is only one woman fireman and paramedic in the department and that is you."

"That's very good, but I'm afraid you've put me at a disadvantage as I still don't know your name." _Holy hell, am I really flirting with his gorgeous guy?_ She tried to keep her nerves at bay as his grin widened and he once again offered her his hand. "Jason Marsden. I'm a nurse here."

"Really, a nurse?" She nearly winced when she heard the shock in her voice.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know. It's kinda weird, for a man to be a nurse."

"No weirder than a female fireman," Gen shot back as she finally shook hands with him.

"No, I guess not." He let go and glanced at his watch. "Hey, I'm just about due for my break. You wouldn't want to have a cup of coffee with me, would you? Call it my way of properly apologizing for practically running you over?"

Gen swore her heart sped up with is request and she cocked her head to the side and grinned. "I'd love to, but I'm on duty and just here to pick up my partners."

"I'm guessing they were the two paramedics I saw come in a little while ago."

"Probably." She glanced over his shoulder and spotted Johnny and Roy standing at the nurse's station watching her. "Actually, it looks like their waiting on me. It was nice to me you, Jason Marsden."

She started to pass him only to feel his hand land gently on her arm. "Wait."

She turned back toward him. "Yes?"

"Um." He shifted from one foot to the other. "Would it be too forward of me to ask for your number?"

She wasn't quite sure what it was about the man that made him so charming, but she definitely liked it. She gave him a full on smile. "I think it would be, but you can give me your number if you like."

In an instant his face lit up and he nodded. "Okay. Do you have a pen?"

* * *

Roy stood at the nurse's station, his attention split between his two partners.

"Just what does she think she's doing?" Johnny motioned to where Gen stood at the other end of the hall talking with a man she'd literally just bumped into.

"Looks to me like she's have a nice conversation with that male nurse," Roy replied, knowing he was opening up a can of worms by saying anything at all.

"I can see that," John shot back. "What I mean is why is she smiling like that at him?"

"Maybe she likes him." As soon as the words left his mouth Roy knew he'd just opened the flood gates on Johnny's pending tantrum.

"Likes him?" Johnny's eyes went wide as his attention cut from Roy to Gen and back. "How can she like him when she just met him?"

"How do you like girls you just met?" he challenged.

Johnny's scowl grew. "That's different."

"No, Junior, it's not. Maybe she thinks he's cute."

"Cute? Are you serious?" The look of disbelief on Johnny's face nearly made him laugh, but there was something else in Johnny's gaze that prevented his smile from forming. Was that hurt he saw in his friend's eyes?"

"Look, what's the big deal? You go gaga over new nurses all the time. So why isn't Gen entitled to think a guy is cute?"

"I never said she wasn't entitled." Johnny defended. "I never said that. I just think that maybe it's a bit soon for her to be looking for romance. I mean she's still mourning losing her father. I think a relationship right now might be a bit confusing for her."

"I think you're jealous." Roy stated.

Johnny's spine straightened as his eyes went wide with shock. "Jealous? I'm not jealous of some male nurse she just met. I mean why should I be jealous. It's not like I have those kinds of feelings for her or anything. I'm just looking out for her. You know now that her dad is gone she needs somebody to keep an eye on her."

_Still in denial, huh, Junior?_ From the moment Gen had joined the shift Roy watched his partner slowly fall head over heels for their newest fireman/paramedic. Either Johnny hadn't realized his true feelings for Gen yet or he was simply not willing to admit them. One day he would. Or at least Roy hoped he would. Johnny and Gen made a cute couple and better yet, she always managed to bring out the best in Johnny, especially in tough situations.

"Genevieve is twenty five years old. She is more than capable of taking care of herself." He held up a finger when Johnny started to protest. "If she needs help she'll ask for it. Trust me when I say that if you stick your nose in where it doesn't belong, you're going to be very sorry."

With a grin on her face Gen approached. "Hey guys, you ready to go?"


	7. Chapter 7

"I really can't believe you." Gen climbed from the squad and glared up at Johnny.

"What? I'm simply saying that I think you could do better than some male nurse at the hospital."

Gen turned and stomped her way into the day room. "Wow, I would expect better from you than that kind of prejudice. Seriously, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a male nurse."

"What's going on, Gen?" Chet asked. "You trying to talk Johnny into becoming a male nurse?"

"Would you shut up, Chet?" Johnny said just as Gen snapped. "Not now, Chet."

"I never said that there was anything wrong with being a male nurse," Johnny corrected. "All I'm saying is that I think if you're going to date someone you could do better."

"Gen is dating a male nurse?" Marco asked.

"No," Gen glared. "Not yet anyway." She turned her attention back to John. "And you're one to be giving advice on whom I should or shouldn't date. People need a damn score card to keep up with your love life, besides." She folded her arms over her chest. "How many nurses have you dated at Rampart?"

In her peripheral vision she caught Chet elbow Marco and nod. Apparently he was finding their argument entertaining. Too bad she wasn't.

"Who I have or haven't dated isn't the issue here." Johnny argued.

"Really? Then what is the issue?" Gen challenged.

"The issue is the man you're choosing to date," he shot back.

"I haven't chosen to do anything yet," she yelled and flung her hands in the air.

"Gen," Cap called from the doorway. "I hate to break up the lover's quarrel you and Gage are having, but I need to see you in my office for a minute."

"Sure, Cap." Gen shot John an evil look. "I'm done talking to _him_ anyway."

She followed Captain Stanley into his office and eased into the empty chair. "Should I be concerned about that shouting match you were having with Gage?" Cap asked as he eased down into his desk chair.

She shook her head. "No. Johnny is making a big deal about nothing."

"Apparently, it's not nothing to him."

"We'll it should be nothing, since it's none of his business," she replied.

"Well," Cap sighed. "Do me a favor and try to work out whatever is going on. The last thing I need is members of my crew fighting on duty."

"Yes, sir," Gen replied and barely refrained from grinding her teeth. Why was she always the one getting lectured? "Is that all?"

"No, actually it's not." He steepled his fingers and leaned back in his chair, giving Gen a bad feeling.

"Is there a problem, Cap?"

"No, not really," he began. "I just wanted to explain my decision back at the fire."

She held up a hand. "Cap, you don't have to. My job is to go wherever you need me most."

"That's true, but I still want you to understand why."

"Okay." She leaned back in the chair. "I'm all ears."

"Well, I thought it might be best to ease you back into work and I was afraid that the call this morning might be a bit much for you to handle right off the bat."

"Cap, you know I'm a professional. I could have handled the situation fine."

"Maybe, but who was the last person you worked on?"

She thought for a second then frowned as the ugly memory of her performing CPR on her father surfaced. "My dad," she said with a sigh.

"Right and he died from being in a house fire. Just like the one this morning."

Suddenly his decision made perfect sense. "You didn't want my very first call to dredge up ugly memories."

Cap nodded. "Probably not the smartest decision I ever made and certainly not a decision that an experienced Captain should make, but well…I wanted to protect you, Gen. I wanted to give you a chance to ease back into work without having your dad's death immediately tossed in your face." He let out a sigh and leaned forward onto his elbows now resting on his knees. "I'm sorry for treating you with kid gloves."

With a grin, Gen stood and closed the distance to him, where she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Cap, that's just about the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you for thinking of my feelings and if you ever pull something like that again I'm going to pitch the biggest fit you've ever seen."

Late that afternoon, Gen stepped out of treatment room two and glanced down the hallway first one direction, then the other. Apparently Johnny was still in with the other patient, which meant she had a few minutes. She headed for the nurses station where she found Dixie filling out paperwork. "Hey, Dix."

"Gen. How's your first day back been?"

"Good so far." Gen turned to look down the hall. "It's been a tough few weeks, so it's kinda nice to be back."

"Looking for someone in particular?" Dixie arched a brow.

Gen shot her a sheepish grin. "That obvious?"

Dixie smiled. "A little. He's in the lounge taking his break."

Gen's grin widened as a flutter of excitement bloomed in her stomach. "Thanks."

She quickly made her way to the lounge, then trying to be as casual as possible, she pushed open the door and stepped inside. "Oh, hey Jason."

Immediately, his lips tipped up as he turned to look at her. "Hey, Genevieve. I was hoping I'd get to see you again today."

The nervous excitement in her stomach grew as she headed for the coffee pot. It was crazy that she should be this excited to see him. "Really?"

"Sure. It's not often that I get to see a beautiful, intelligent woman twice in the same day."

She desperately wanted to be enamored by his compliment, but she knew better than to allow herself to fall for those type of lines. She heard them tumble all the time from Johnny's lips without pause.

"You have a hospital full of beautiful, intelligent women to look at every day." She poured herself a cup then turned and eased into the seat across from him.

"True," he replied. "But most eye me with anger and suspicion."

Gen's brow knit as she stared over her mug at him. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't really know. If I were to guess, I think maybe they resent me being a nurse."

Gen smirked. "Kinda like some of the nurses resent paramedics."

He chuckled. "Then you know where I'm coming from."

Before Gen could reply, the door opened and Roy appeared with Johnny quickly on his heels. "There you are. We're ready."

Gen took a quick gulp of her coffee, then pushed up from the table. As she did she caught Johnny's scowl. If he started on her again….

She placed her mug in the sink then turned back to Jason. "Good seeing you again."

"Yeah, you too," he replied. "We should make a habit of it."

"Definitely," she replied, then ignoring Johnny's sour face, pushed past him into the hallway.

"We should make a habit of it," Johnny mocked. "You're not actually falling for his smooth talk are you?"

Gen narrowed her gaze as she turned to look at him. "Just drop it, John."

"You're smarter than that, Genevieve."

She stopped mid-step, turned and faced him as anger coursed through her. "I said drop it and I meant it. Who I decide to befriend is none of your business. It's mine. I have never once criticized you for any woman you dated, so I'd appreciate the same courtesy." She turned and huffed down the hallway, leaving him in her dust. All she'd wanted was to come back to work. Now, not even half way through her first shift back she was already wishing it was over.

The next day, Gen slid her key into the lock and turned the deadbolt. She pushed open her apartment door and stepped inside. With her first shift back to work complete, she was tired and feeling a bit out of sorts. Why had Johnny been so nasty? Even after she'd let the topic drop, he continued to carry a sour mood through nearly all the shift. She'd almost expected him to apologize this morning and ask her to breakfast. Instead, he'd barely said goodbye as he left.

She closed the door and dropped her bag on the floor. What she needed was some sage advice. She headed to the couch, picked up the phone and her heart cracked as she caught herself. _He's not there anymore, Genevieve._ She replaced the receiver and eased onto the couch as tears well for the first time in several days. Never again would she have the pleasure of sharing her work with her father after shift, or calling on him for advice when her world was sideways. _Alone!_ She sucked in a quick breath as she bit back a sob. How many more times would she be reminded of that fact over the next few weeks?

She pushed off the couch and stumbled her way into the kitchen where she rummaged through the cabinet and came up with a glass. Not caring that it was before nine in the morning, she opened the cabinet above her refrigerator and pulled down the bottle of her father's favorite scotch she'd brought home from his house. What she wanted more than anything in that moment was to be numb. She poured herself a glass, took a drink, then poured some more.

All she had left was her work and her partners. _Don't let work consume you, baby girl_. Her father's voice echoed in her head as she swiped at the tears trickling down her cheeks. She'd been so focused on making her father proud of her, of securing her place in the department, she'd pushed aside any potential friendships or romantic interests. _Now what?_

With her father gone, she no longer needed to strive for his approval. _There are more important things in life than the fire department. Promise me you'll find love, get married and start a family._ She took another sip and let the liquid burn a path to her stomach as she considered her father's dying words. She'd made him that promise and well, even if he was gone now, she'd damn well keep it.

Only how in the world was she going to do that when she didn't have the first clue about dating? She thought about Johnny and everything they shared. She loved him so much sometimes it frightened her, but he certainly wasn't the marrying type and right now he was barely the friend type. God she hated fighting with him. Still, she'd hadn't deserved his ire. All she'd done was accidentally bump into a male nurse.

Her eyes widened as she remembered the phone number written on a piece of paper. She'd stuff the paper in her pants pocket, then later into her bag. Maybe he was just what she needed right now. After all, he'd been interested, he was cute and he caused those crazy butterflies in her stomach. Was there anything really wrong with going out with him once just to see what it was like?

She certainly couldn't begin to fulfill her promise if she kept herself locked away in her apartment feeling sorry for herself and getting drunk. Knocking back the last of her drink, she steeled her nerves, then placed the glass on the table and pushed off the couch. It took a few moments for her to locate the number tucked away in her bag. Then she returned to the couched, picked up the phone and before she could give herself time to chicken out, she dialed the number.

"Hello?" Jason's sexy tenor resonated through the receiver.

She took a deep steadying breath. "Jason, its Genevieve."

"Oh hey, Genevieve. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"Well." She glanced over at a picture of her with her father at her graduation. "I was wondering if you'd had breakfast yet."

"Actually, I haven't," he replied. "Would you like to have breakfast with me?"

"I'd love to," she replied as nerves bloomed like a thousand butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "Where would you like to meet and when?"


	8. Chapter 8

_This chapter is a bit of new mixed with old that's been tweaked just a little. Just trying to fill in the missing pieces and make the story flow better. Hope you all like it. _

* * *

"You know, I have never been here," Gen said as she took in the sights of the historic farmer's market.

Jason strolled along next to her and arched a brow. "Really?"

She tucked a stray hair blown askew by the wind and tucked it behind her ear. "Really. You have to remember, I grew up in San Diego and only moved to LA a few years ago. Mom and Dad wouldn't have wanted to drive two hours just for a farmers market when they could go someplace local instead."

"Well,' you don't know what you've been missing." Jason replied. This is one of the best places in LA to get fresh fruit and vegetables. Not to mention all the great little snack places and restaurants."

Gen nodded. "I can see that. I'm just sorry I didn't know about this place before today." She motioned to a fruit stand. "Do you mind? I'd like to get some fresh apples."

Jason motioned toward the stand. "I don't mind at all, so long as I get to spend time with you."

The flutter in her stomach that seemed to pop up every time she was near him, came back with a vengeance and Gen could all but feel the heat rise into her face. _Good grief Genevieve, get a grip will ya?_ She pointed toward the Granny Smith apples. "These look really good."

Jason nodded. "They do. You like Granny Smith Apples?"

"A lot." Gen picked several and placed them in a bag. She paid and headed back out to the walk.

"You know," Jason began as they continued their stroll. "I would have thought that Johnny would have brought you here."

Gen glanced at him, brow knit. "Why?"

"Well, you guys are involved, aren't you?"

She stopped now and stared full on at him. "No. Why?"

"Well, by the way he always hovers over you, I just assumed you were a couple."

"He does not hover over me," Gen replied, feeling slightly defensive.

Jason shot her a sideways glance. "You're not looking in from the outside. From all appearances, it looks as if you two are a couple. I mean he's so friendly with your personal space-"

"He's what?" Gen cut him off.

"You know, all up behind you when you're talking to people and he's always touching you when you're talking to each other."

"Touching me?" Gen frowned.

"Yeah," Jason continued. "Hands on your shoulders, or a hand slid around your waist. I've personally seen him stand behind you and rub your arms and swipe your hair back." He paused and motioned to her, brushing her hair back behind her shoulder. "Like this. All gestures that couples would be seen doing."

Gen's frown deepened as her brain processed Jason's words. Did she and Johnny give off the impression that they were a couple?

"Then there's that whole protective vibe he's got going on."

"What do you mean?" she nearly scowled as she listened to him.

"He's always hovering over your conversations and if he's not, he's grilling you on the, who, what, when, where and why's of your conversation with someone else. And I can't count the number of times I've seen him emerge from a treatment room, see you're not at the nurse's station and go hunt you down instead of waiting for you to appear."

She'd totally heard enough. "Okay, maybe he is a bit protective, but that's only because he's being a good friend."

"You call it being a friend. Everyone else calls it controlling."

Her scowl deepened. "He is not controlling."

"Really?" Jason arched a brow as they continued to walk.

"Yes, really," Gen snapped, then sighed. This was totally not how she wanted the morning to go and it certainly wasn't what she had in mind when she'd picked up the phone this morning. "Look, I didn't call you so we could talk about Johnny."

"Then why did you call me?"

She forced down the frustration she felt while she decided how to answer him. What was her real motivation for calling him? "Well, I made my dad a promise right before he passed away."

Jason shot her a curious look. "Okay, I'm intrigued. What kind of promise?"

"He made me promise not to let the fire department be my entire life. He wanted me to meet people, have new experiences and eventually find love and have a family."

"Sounds like a reasonable enough request." Jason replied.

Gen nodded. "It was, I suppose, but I'm not great a going outside my comfort zone. Anyway, after I ran into you at the hospital that day, I kept thinking about you. Then I started thinking about my promise to my father. How can I live life and meet new people if I don't take a few chances and step outside my comfort zone?" She glanced over at him. "You know what I mean?"

He nodded. "Actually I do."

"Then I kept thinking about you and well, you're handsome and charming and I got the impression that you were interested in me. That's not a combination that happens too often, so I decided it was time to seize the moment. So I called."

He paused, then turned to face her. "There's only one flaw with everything you just said."

She cocked her head to the side and stared at him. Had she said something wrong? Something that offended him? "W-what would that be?"

"You said _were_ interested, as in past tense." He reached for her hand, laced his fingers through hers. "Am is the correct word. I am interested in you, especially after that honest and heart felt answer you just gave me. If you'll let me, I'd love to get the chance to know you better."

For a moment she studied their joined hands as she considered his statement. This was what she wanted, right? After all, she'd been the one to call him, so did she have a good reason not to say yes? For a brief moment she thought about Johnny and how childish he's been acting recently. How steamed would he be if she started dating Jason in earnest? Maybe she could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak? She really liked Jason and if she allowed this thing they had to grow into something more substantial she could honor her father's request and teach Johnny a lesson at the same time, all while doing it on her terms. After all, this was her life and it was about damn time she started living it for herself. "I think I'd like that."

* * *

"Are you really going to be Chet's partner for that stupid competition?" Johnny stared at Gen from across the table and tried not to scowl. Ever since her father's death, she seemed to become a different person. Dating, refusing to listen to reason, and acting childish.

All she'd been doing lately was going on and on about her adventures with Jason during her day off. Roller skating, go kart racing, surfing and now sand castle building? What in the hell had gotten into his sensible, sweet, caring Genevieve that had turned her into this woman he barely knew?

"Why not? " Gen shrugged. "I mean he needs a partner in order to participate and I didn't see any of you jumping at the chance."

"And for the record, it's not stupid," Chet shot back.

"Well I think it's very sporting of you to volunteer," Cap offered.

Gen smiled. "Thank you, Cap."

"I think she's crazy," Johnny mumbled as he once again felt the sting of her rejection. Ever since she'd met Jason she seemed to be drifting farther and farther away from him. He'd call to see if she wanted to have breakfast with him, or come over to watch a ball game and eat pizza. Either she wasn't home or had plans with someone else. What happened to spending time with her best friend?

Gen narrowed her eyes and immediately he knew he'd once again pushed her just a little too far. Though, in his defense, that line seemed to be getting shorter and shorter as the weeks passed. "What's so crazy about me wanting to help out a friend?" she snapped.

"Well…nothing, except-"

"Except I didn't get your John Gage seal of approval first," she cut him off.

"Now that's not it," Johnny banged his fist on the table as anger and frustration boiled to the surface. Why was she always looking to fight with him recently? "Don't you dare go putting words in my mouth?"

"Okay," Cap shouted over them. "That's enough. I don't know what's been going on with the two of you, but ever since Gen came back to work you two have been at each other's throats. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that enough is enough. No more." He pointed a finger first at Johnny and then at Gen. "Whatever is eating at you two leave it at home. When you're here, you'll be civil to each other. Do I make myself clear?"

"I'm sorry, Cap," Gen said. "I won't let it happen again. If you all will excuse me." She pushed away from the table. "I have a book to finish reading. I'll be in the dorm if you need me."

Johnny watched her go, then turned his attention back to cap. "Cap, I don't know what's gotten into her."

"I do," Roy piped up.

"Do share, Roy," Cap urged. "I think we'd all like to know."

"It's you, Johnny. You're what's gotten into her."

"Me?" Johnny slapped a hand against his chest. "What did I do?"

"I told you not to stick your nose in where it doesn't belong." Roy leveled a finger at him. "But you just couldn't keep your big mouth shut."

"Roy, what are you talking about?"

Roy threw his hands up. "What am I talking about? Are you really that thick?"

"Sure he is," Chet offered, then shrank into the chair when Cap shot him a look.

"Jason, is what I'm talking about." Roy clarified.

Cap's gaze cut from Roy to John. "_Who_ is Jason?"

"He's nobody." John leaned back in the chair. Even the man's name got under his skin. He couldn't bring himself to say it.

"You haven't heard Gen talking about him?" Chet asked?

Cap shook his head.

"Well," Roy once again picked up the conversation. "He's a guy that works over at Rampart that Gen has apparently started dating."

Cap's eyes went wide as he rested an elbow on the table. "Gen is dating? Well I think that's fantastic."

"You wouldn't if you knew the guy," Johnny offered.

"Why?" Marco asked. "What's wrong with him?"

"There's nothing _wrong_ with him." Roy shot John a look that said don't challenge me on this. "He's a male nurse at the hospital and he seems real nice. From what I can tell Gen likes him a lot. She lights up every time she sees him."

Johnny didn't want to start another fight, but listening to Roy talk about this Jason character as if he was the best thing to come along in Gen's life since sliced bread was more than he could take. "And she's gonna get hurt if she keeps seeing him."

Mike arched a brow. "How do you know that?"

"Because I've asked around the hospital about him. From what I've learned he's a real hound dog, a womanizer of the biggest proportions."

Chet chuckled. "This coming from the man who dates a different girl every other week. Please tell me you didn't lay all this on her."

"Oh he did all right." Roy nodded. "That and more. I told him to stay out of it, but he just wouldn't listen. Every time he happens to see the two of them together he just has to dig on Gen about Jason."

"I'm just trying to make her see the error of her ways."

"No, you're forcing your will on her and every time you do, you're pushing her farther away." Roy said. "You've become an important part of her life Johnny. You've been there for her when she's needed you most. You said yourself not too long ago that she's now one of your best friends and I'm sure she feels the same way about you. Do you really want to lose her this way? Because if you keep this up that's exactly what's going to happen."

* * *

Gen sat with her back propped against the wall and struggled to read the same paragraph for the third time. Lately, it seemed everything she said or did around Johnny was met with criticism or sarcasm and that combined with the aftermath of her dad's death was all really starting to wear her down. Their friendship had been running along smoothly until the moment she'd met Jason. That's when the downward spiral started.

While she liked Jason a lot, the longer she was with him the more damage it seemed to be doing to her relationship with Johnny. Why couldn't he just be supportive of her decision, instead of razing her over every little thing? She hated fighting with him and it broke her heart to see their friendship falling apart, but if he couldn't support her even though he didn't necessarily agree with her, then she'd simply need to distance herself. There wasn't room in her life for fly by night friends.

She turned her attention back to the book and read the same paragraph for the fourth time before closing the cover and tossing it to the foot of her bed. With hands covering her eyes she tilted her head back and sighed. The problem was, Johnny wasn't some fly by night friend. Time and again he'd been there for her. First during her recovery from the chemical fire incident, then later he'd stood by her side during the subsequent inquiry and her address to the press.

Concerned about complications to her lungs, he'd watched over her during the months that followed always making sure she was sufficiently checked out whenever she'd come into contact with too much smoke. Sometimes his overprotectiveness had gotten on her nerves, but then she'd complain to her father and he'd remind her of how good she had it to have such a wonderful and caring friend.

How many nights had she spent sitting on the floor in either her living room or his eating pizza and drinking beers with him? They'd argued over sports teams, watched old movies together and spent more time talking on the phone than she would have with any female friend. She'd come to love him with all her heart and that was exactly the problem.

Even her father had liked him. Her lips tipped into a smile as she thought about her dad. He'd told her more than once that liked Johnny, a lot and was more than pleased to see her friendship with Johnny grow. On the day he died, he'd been pleased to know Johnny was there with her. Her smiled faded as she suddenly wondered just how would he'd feel now if he could see the way their friendship was fracturing?

"Gen?"

She looked up to see Roy standing with the curtain pulled back.

"Hi, Roy."

"You okay?"

She nodded. "I will be."

He eased down onto the bed next to her. "You know Johnny means well, right?"

Gen arched a brow. "He has a funny way of showing it right now."

"Well, we both know he's also never been very good at being tactful, but I'm telling you he does mean well."

Gen shrugged. "Maybe he does, but my love life is none of his business."

Roy nodded. "You're right. You're absolutely right, but he cares about you, maybe a little more than he should sometimes and well, he lets his feelings cloud his judgment."

"I care about him too, Roy, but have you ever seen me really dog him about any of the girls he's dated? You know, the same way he's been riding me?"

Roy shook his head. "No. I haven't."

"His taste in women leaves a lot to be desired. I swear that brick wall is smarter than some of the girls he's dated. Yet, I've never once seriously criticized his choices, because it's his personal life and none of my business." She shook her head. "I'm not going to forgive him, Roy, at least not until he apologizes. I'm also not going to stop seeing Jason."

"You shouldn't have to and as far as Johnny goes he'll eventually see reason. All I ask is that you try and be patient with him until he comes around."

She stared at him, her heart filled with sadness at the idea of losing her best friend. Still, she was done allowing others to dictate her life and if that meant losing Johnny, well she'd have to learn to deal with the hurt. "I don't know if I can."


	9. Chapter 9

_This is another old chapter, updated and mixed with some new stuff._

* * *

Gen had just opened the door to her apartment when her phone began to ring. She kicked the door shut with her foot, dumped her bag on the couch and ran for the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, sugar it's Uncle Andy. I wasn't sure if you had shift today or not."

Gen cradled the receiver with her shoulder as she began unlacing her shoes. "Actually, I just got off shift. Why? What's up?"

"I have some good news and some not so good news."

A sick feeling grew in the pit of her stomach as she eased down onto the couch. Despite the dread building inside her, she struggled to keep the fear at bay. After all, could anything he have to say be worse than what she'd already been through? "Okay. Give me the not-so-good news first."

"I just received a letter from the clerk's office regarding your dad's will."

She paused at his words as her heart skipped a beat. After the shitty shift she just finished the last thing she wanted was to deal with more complications and delays. "And?" she finally prompted.

"And," he sighed. "It's just as we feared. Your father's two brothers and sister who came to the service have contested the will, claiming undue influence."

Gen frowned at the phone as anger slowly mixed with her dread. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"They're claiming that because you signed as a witness on your father's latest will and that you're receiving nearly everything in the will that you somehow influenced him to make that decision."

"But I didn't," Gen shouted. "I didn't" she said a bit softer.

"Now calm down, Genevieve. I know that and you know that, but the court doesn't."

"So how do we prove them wrong?"

"We'll have to wait for the judge to make a decision. The thing is, even if he throws the will out, I have a copy of the one preceding his latest will that we might be able to present. I'm checking with a lawyer to see if it's admissible if he finds the current will invalid."

Gen pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to stave off a now growing headache. "What good will that do?"

"It's from when your mom was still alive. I'm still executor, but Captain Callaghan from his old station is the witness. So they can't make an accusation of undue influence on that one and you're still the benefactor."

With this new information, her dread slowly began to fade. Maybe things would still work out. "How long will all this take?"

"With the way the courts work, it could take anywhere from a week to several months to settle this."

"Several months?" So much for a quick resolution to the situation. Gen let her head fall back against the cushioned chair and groaned. "How am I going to manage the utilities and taxes on dad's house on top of my own bills?"

"Now don't panic," Andy's voice soothed. "Well, we have a couple of choices here, sweetheart. You could rent the place out, but any profit over and above the taxes, utilities and upkeep would have to go into the estate and stay there until settled."

"What's option two?"

"I can petition the court to allow for immediate sale of the house with all profits going into the estate to be held there until such time it's settled."

"And the contents?"

"Well, the contents aren't thoroughly inventoried, so I'm pretty sure if there something specific you wanted you could have it, but the majority of the estate would also have to go into storage until the will is settled. Plus, once everything is settled, any money you put out for the storage unit could be repaid from the estate."

For several seconds Gen considered her options. A storage unit would also cost money, but it would still be cheaper than utilities and taxes. No matter what her decision, there would be a lot of work ahead of her.

"This is your decision, honey. I'll do whatever you want me to."

She wasn't sure what broke her heart more, the idea of selling the home she grew up in or knowing it currently sat empty and dark. "Go ahead and petition to the court to sell the house and if you wouldn't mind, see if you can find a storage unit you think will hold all dad's stuff?"

"Sure thing. I know this isn't easy for you, sugar, but you will get through it."

Gen sighed. "I know. I just wish I didn't have to. So what was the good news?"

"They arrested the men who firebombed the Diaz house."

At that news, Gen jerked her head off the couch back and bolted upright. "And?"

"And this is what I know. There was another firebombing three days ago. This time on a Hispanic owned business, which was thankfully closed at the time. However, being that it was in a more populated area, witnesses were able to give a description of the car, and a partial plate number. Apparently, there were three men in the car. The youngest being just seventeen and the younger brother to the driver of the car. The two other men were in their early twenties."

That sick feeling returned while she process this new information. "Dear God. He should have been making out with his girlfriend somewhere or going to some school dance. Not out ruining people's lives."

"That's exactly what the prosecutor said and the moment he threatened to try the younger one as an adult, the seventeen year old rolled on the other two."

Excitement danced along Gen's skin. "Which means?"

"It means he told the police everything in order to save his own skin. He's accepting a plea deal, but the other two…the one who was driving and the one who actually threw the firebomb have a slew of charges against them, including three counts of attempted murder and one count of murder in the first degree."

Nervous energy flowed through her now and she pushed off the couch to pace the length of the phone cord and back. "When is the trail?"

"The date hasn't been set yet. Arraignments are tomorrow. I'll know more then, but, Gen, the prosecution has witnesses to the second crime and a confession to both. They're going to go away for a long time."

While she did feel some relief in knowing the men wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else, none of what she learned changed anything. It wouldn't bring her father back and it wouldn't make her life any better. "I want to know the trial dates."

"Genevieve," Andy's voice was low and filled with warning. "Honey, there isn't any reason for you to subject yourself to another trial."

"I want to see the bastards who took my father's life," she demanded. "I want to put a face with the hate and I want to see their eyes when they're told their fate."

"It won't bring Tony back," Andy argued.

She understood that point all too well. Still, it didn't change the need bubbling inside her. "No it won't, but I want them to understand the consequences of their actions. To know that they've ruined lives because of their hate. I want the closure I deserve."

A heavy sigh greeted her on the other end of the phone. "Fine. As soon as I know the trial date, I'll let you know and as soon as I find out about your dad's will, I'll be in touch."

"Thank you for everything, Uncle Andy. I don't know that I could have handled all this legal stuff without your help."

"It's my pleasure, sweetheart. Anything I can do to help, you just let me know."

"I will. Thanks again." Gen hung up and for a moment while she decided what to do next. She reached for the phone, then stopped as she considered her actions. She wanted to call Johnny and tell him everything she'd just learned, but after the way he'd had been acting, it might be best if she didn't. Still, she needed to share with someone. Jason was working most of the day, as was Alyssa. Maybe she'd swing by the hospital and have lunch with Jason, tell him the good news, then head over to Mike's and hang out with him until Alyssa got off work.

She headed toward the kitchen, then glanced back at the phone. The desire to call Johnny ran strong through her. He'd been her rock, her confidant through the mess that had become her life. Yet, fear of his reaction to her call, kept her from acting on her desire. He'd been so hateful recently and maybe, just maybe Jason was right when he said Johnny was trying to control her. At least that's how it had seemed after this last shift. _No._ She shook her head and turned back to the kitchen. She would stick to her original plan. Johnny wasn't the only friend in her life now, and it was damn time she stopped relying on him so much.

* * *

"I can't believe someone that young could have so much hate inside them," Gen said as she played with the French fries on her plate.

"I know," Jason replied. "It's hard to believe any person could do something so vial, but to not even been an adult yet…"

"It's weird. I want to see their faces," Gen said. "Yet I don't."

Jason took a drink of his soda then returned his glass to the table. "You don't have to go to the trial."

"I know," she replied. "But I feel like I need to."

"I can go with you, if you like," he offered. "I mean if I don't have to work."

Gratitude bloomed inside as she stared across the table at him. "Thank you for the offer, but you really don't have to."

He reached across the table and placed a hand over hers, causing those now familiar butterflies in her stomach to flutter again. "If it's important to you, then it's important to me."

Before she could reply, movement out of the corner of her eye caught Gen's attention. A blond woman, probably about Gen's age, moved in behind Jason and covered his eyes with her hands. She smiled. "Guess who?"

Jason released Gen's hand and brought his to his face. A slow grin claimed his features. "I'd know that voice anywhere. Paula Vanderpool."

"Right," she nearly cheered and release him. He turned to grin up at the woman and then pushed out of his chair to take her in a hug. He pulled back and planted a chaste kiss on the woman's lips then stared at her with an appreciation that left Gen feeling more than a little uncomfortable. "You look amazing."

"Thank you." She glanced at Gen, then back to Jason. "I'm so sorry I interrupted your meal, but when I saw you sitting here I just couldn't help myself."

"Oh that's okay. Here' let me introduce you. Paula this is Genevieve-" He paused. "Um…Gen is a paramedic for the LA County fire department."

Paula extended a hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," Gen replied, despite feeling less than cordial. "If you don't mind me asking, how do you know Jason?"

The woman glowed as she looked back at Jason. "Jason and I were high school sweethearts."

Jason nodded. "That's right. Then Paula moved away to go to college."

"Well I'm back," she replied.

"I see that," he said with that same look in his eyes. "What brings you back?"

"I got my degree and decided to come home and look for a job."

"Any luck?"

Impossibly, the woman's smile grew wider. "I've just been hired on at Rampart Hospital as a clinical therapist."

Suddenly feeling like the third wheel on a two wheeled bike, Gen watched the exchange with a sick nervousness. This woman, his high school sweetheart would be working at Rampart? What did that mean for her relationship with Jason? Did he still have those kind of feelings for this Paula chick? And why hadn't he introduced Gen as his girlfriend? They'd been dating for nearly two weeks. Didn't that make her his girlfriend?

"That's wonderful." He slid a sideways glance at Gen. "We'll all be working together. Isn't that wonderful, Genevieve?"

"Yeah," she pushed her plate away and leaned back in her chair as her stomach turned sour. "Just wonderful."


	10. Chapter 10

Gen stared at her reflection in the mirror and turned from one side to the other. At the time the tie die banded bikini she'd purchased for the beach had seemed like a good choice. Now that the day had arrived she had second thoughts. Was it too revealing?

She'd tried on the top at the store and had even ventured to show it to Alyssa, who had all but insisted she buy it. It wasn't as if she couldn't pull off the look. She worked out nearly every day and tried to watch what she ate when not on shift. Still, these men were her co-workers. Didn't she have a certain responsibility with how she presented herself? She certainly did as a fireman, but how about as a woman? These men had become like family to her. Was it really appropriate for her to wear something so…skimpy in front of them?

Of course they wouldn't be the only ones there. Jason had agreed to come and after the competition maybe give her another surfing lesson. Her stomach fluttered and she pressed a hand over it as she continued to look at herself in the mirror. If nothing else, he'd like her choice in clothing. Besides, what would she wear if not the bikini? Shorts and a tee shirt? She smirked at that thought. Yeah, she wouldn't look too much like an idiot if she showed up in street clothes.

Still, street clothes would hide the burn on her neck. She'd made sure to ask Dr. Brackettt about the burn before her trip to the beach. With it pretty much healed he'd said it was fine, but to try and keep it covered to protect it from the sun.

She tossed the sun block towel and bottle of water into the bag with the first aid supplies for her burn and grabbed her sandals. After everything she'd been through over the last month she deserved to have some fun.

Thirty minutes later, bag in hand, she stopped at the top of the boardwalk and looked out over the beach. It took a moment before she spotted Chet and the gang. She slipped her sandals off and started down the steps. Her feet sank slightly as the hot sand shifted beneath her toes and she took a moment to let her body adjust to the temperature. It was only 9 in the morning and already the sand was hot. By one o'clock it would be absolutely scorching.

"There's my teammate." Chet beamed. He turned to the short blonde woman standing behind him and took her by the hand. "Nikki Bowman I'd like you to meet one of my co-workers and my teammate for the competition, Genevieve Conti."

"It's so nice to meet you." The blonde cooed as she twirled a lock of her hair with her finger. "Chetty here has told me so much about you."

_Chetty?_ Gen didn't bother even trying to hide her grin. "Well, all of us down at the station have heard a lot about you too."

The blonde's eyes went wide and she grinned. "You have?" She leaned toward Chet and planted a kiss on his cheek. "You're so wonderful talking about me to your friends."

Gen angled a thumb toward where the rest of the group had set up. "I'm gonna go put my stuff down. I'll be back."

She shook her head as she walked toward the guys and giggled at the absurdity of it all.

Mike paused from setting up a beach blanket. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing," she nodded in the direction of Chet and Nikki. "I just got a kick out of Chet and his girl."

"Oh yeah?" Mike's attention drifted in Chet's direction. "She seems nice."

"Oh she's very nice," Gen agreed. "And just about as brainless." She let her bag slip off her shoulder into the sand. "I swear, Mike, I think that Chet and Johnny have the same criteria for dating girls."

"And what would that be?" Mike retuned to setting up the blanket.

"Beautiful and brainless," Gen shot back, then shrugged. "But, I guess if that type of girl makes them happy, then who am I to criticize?"

Mike nodded as his gaze drifted over Gen's shoulder. "Speak of the devil, Looks like Johnny decided to come after all."

Gent turned to see Johnny crossing the sand with cooler in hand and she nearly groaned out loud. "Wonderful," she mumbled.

"What's the problem?"

Gen turned back to Mike. "With all the bitching he was doing about the competition I didn't actually think he'd come."

"So?" Mike arched a brow. "I mean I know you guys aren't getting along right now, but what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that I invited Jason. He'll be here any time."

"Like now?"

Mike nodded and Gen's attention cut in the same direction where she caught sight of Jason, with surf board tucked under one arm walking up the beach. "Oh man. Not good."

Johnny lay stretched out on the beach blanket and watched Gen frolic in the water with Jason from behind his sunglasses. "I can't _believe_ she brought him."

Roy handed him a soda and dropped down on the blanket beside him. "To be fair, she didn't think you were coming."

John slid the glasses down his nose to look at Roy. "Why would I have not come? No way was I going to miss an opportunity to see Chet make a fool of himself in front of a crowd."

"Some fool," Roy chuckled. "He and Gen took second place. I don't think that's too shabby, considering two weeks ago he didn't even know this contest existed. Besides, you've done nothing for the last two weeks but razz Chet and dog Gen for agreeing to help him. Honestly, I didn't think you were coming either."

"Well, you were all wrong." John took a long drink and considered his options. He hadn't planned on coming, but realizing he'd be the only one from 'A' shift who wouldn't be there he didn't want to look like a jerk. "It's not good for her burn to be exposed to salt water like that."

"She got the okay from Brackett and you need to keep your big mouth shut before you start another fight."

Johnny eyed his best friend with some frustration. "Seems to me, pally, that you're taking up sides."

Roy shook his head. "Nope, just trying to keep you from making a bigger ass out of yourself than you already have."

Instantly offended, Johnny sat straight up. "I'm being an ass?" He nearly poked himself in the chest. "Are you kidding me? I'm not the one making a fool out of myself by dating Rampart's resident gigolo."

Roy sighed. "Junior, when are you going to let this go? She's not marrying the guy, she's just dating him. If he is what you say he is then she'll eventually figure him out and dump him."

"Yeah, I suppose." Johnny turned his attention back to Gen. Currently, she was standing on the surfboard that Jason held, her arms flailing and her legs wobbling as she tried to keep her balance. The movement caused her body to bounce and his gaze drifted to where it probably shouldn't. _God she's so beautiful._ He nearly sighed before once again she lost her balance and tumbled into the water squealing and laughing.

He'd seen her in shorts and a tee-shirt and in those skimpy shorts she slept in at the station. He'd even seen her naked, but nothing had prepared him for the moment when she'd pulled off her cover up and he'd caught sight of that tie-die two piece she wore. She was lean yet muscular, not body builder muscular, but one could definitely tell she lifted weights. Curvy in all the right places with legs that seemed to go on forever she looked better than any magazine model and any girl he'd ever dated. Hell, he'd damn near needed to throw himself into the water just to cool off.

When Gen surfaced and wrapped her arm around Jason's neck, her face glowing with happiness, John's frown deepened. Despite what the guys all thought he really did want her to be happy. The two of them had grown close over the last few years and he valued that friendship more than she might ever know. So why wouldn't he want her to be happy? After everything she'd been through she deserved to some joy in her life. Deep down, though, he knew Jason's type and guys like him were after only one thing.

Just how long would it take for him to sweet talk her into bed? The idea of some guy pawing all over Gen between the sheets didn't sit well with him. Still, if Jason somehow managed to get her there would he take his time and treat her with the respect and love she deserved? Or would he simply get his rocks off and bail, leaving her to pick up the pieces? What would happen to that beautiful spirit of hers if that happened?

Deep in thought he hadn't noticed them exiting the water until something happened that set him even more on edge. Two young women raced toward Gen and Jason with the shorter of the two throwing her arms around Jason's neck, despite the fact that Gen stood right next to him. Johnny was sorry he was out of earshot, but there was no mistaking the way Jason's hands immediately dropped to the girl's waist and stayed there.

For a moment Gen looked perplexed, then uncomfortable, before Jason finally pulled the girl off him and introduced the two women. Gen shot the girl a small smile and after a few minutes of small talk the women said their goodbyes and continued up the beach while Gen and Jason made their way toward the group.

"How was your first surfing lesson, Gen?" Roy asked.

Gen laughed. "Probably my last. Honestly, I don't know how people stay on those things."

Jason chuckled. "I still don't understand how you can be in the line of work you are and not have balance."

Gen gave him an affectionate punch in the arm. "I wouldn't have that job if surfing was a requirement."

"So, Jason." Johnny knew he was probably about to start a war, but he couldn't help himself. "Who were your lady friends?"

"Oh Brittany and Morgan?" He turned and looked in the direction the women had walked. "Brit is an old girlfriend of mine and Morgan, well, she always wanted to be a girlfriend of mine, but…well, timing was never right."

"Old girlfriend, huh? By the looks of things you sure must have a way with the ladies, since she's an ex-girlfriend and still friendly with you. I mean she is an ex, right?"

Jason's smile faded. "You know Gage, I've just about had enough of your butting into my business."

Johnny pushed to his feet to meet Jason face to face. "Well if you're going to date Gen, you might want to get used to it."

"Johnny," Gen cut in, but was practically pushed out of the way as Jason took a step toward Johnny.

"The last time I checked Gen was your co-worker, which means anything to do with her only concerns you when you're on duty."

"Jason, stop it," Gen protested

Johnny refused to back down. He was taller and in better shape than Jason and was pretty sure he could take him if he needed to. "You see, pal. That's where you're wrong. If you haven't figured it out yet, this little group here is more than just a crew, we're a family and family looks out for each other."

"Is that the excuse you used when you started digging around at the hospital asking all kinds of questions about me?"

"It's not an excuse and Gen has a right to know exactly what kind of player you really are."

"This coming from the man who has dated half the nurses on staff." Jason shot back. "Do yourself a favor and take a look in the mirror before you start casting aspersions, _Gage_." He turned to walk away then stopped and looked back. "Oh and stay out of my business or I'll make you sorry."

With a stunned expression on her face Gen's attention flipped from Johnny to Jason and back before she chased after Jason. Johnny watched her follow him a few feet away where they talked out of hearing range. After a few minutes she kissed him on the cheek, then turned and stalked back to where Johnny still stood. "You jackass." She shoved a finger at him. "How dare you say such terrible things about Jason and embarrass me in front of everyone like that." She threw her hands in the air. "I can't believe you. I've asked you to lay off, told you to back off and warned you to stay out of my business. Well no more. I'm done." She shook her head.

Johnny frowned. "What do you mean you're done?"

"I mean I have had it up to my eyeballs dealing with all the bullshit in my life and I don't need any more complications. Since you insist on being a complication then you leave me no choice. I'm done with you, John Gage. This friendship is over. As of this moment we are co-workers and nothing more."


	11. Chapter 11

_Again, there is some new and some old mixed here. _

* * *

"How long are you going to stay mad at Johnny?"

Gen looked up from the papers currently scattered all over Alyssa's table and frowned at Stoker. "Do we really need to have this conversation again?"

Mike pulled a beer from the fridge then slid into the chair across from her. "Yes, we need to have this conversation again."

"Mike, leave Gen alone already," Alyssa urged, then picked up another stack of papers. "She made her decision and there's really no point in aggravating her further."

"There is when Cap is threatening to transfer one of them," Mike shot back then leveled a look at Gen that had her squirming. "Did you know that?"

Suddenly feeling nervous, she bit down on her lip and shook her head. Had she really allowed the situation to escalate to the point where Cap would take such extreme action?

"Well he is." Mike reached for the papers Gen held and set them aside then took her hands in his. "You have to forgive Johnny or we're going to lose you."

Gen shook her head. "I don't know that I can. He's been so…nasty since I met Jason. It's gotten to a point where he criticizes everything I say, even if it has nothing to do with Jason. I mean wouldn't a real friend respect my wishes and butt out when asked? Wouldn't a real friend stand behind me no matter what my decision would be?"

"Maybe, or maybe a real friend would do everything in their power to look out for you. Even if that meant pissing you off."

"I'm a big girl, Mike. I don't need some great protector assessing every move I make."

Mike frowned. "You're being unfair, Gen. That's not what he was doing."

"Isn't it?" She arched a brow.

"Okay, yes, Johnny is wrong for trying to tell you how to live your life." He released her hands and leaned back in his char. "Regardless, since you cut ties with him, the last few shifts have been brutal. The tension is so thick we could cut it with a knife."

She nearly rolled her eyes. "I think you're exaggerating a bit don't you?"

"Am I? You two can barely stand to be in the same room together. We can't even have a decent conversation around the station without it ending up as a pissing match between you and Johnny." He shook his head. "One of you needs to give in soon or we're gonna lose you, Gen."

The idea of being transferred out of 51 scared the hell out of her, but she also knew Mike was right. Things couldn't continue as they were. The working conditions had simply become too mentally destructive for the crew. Since she was the last one in, it would only be right for Cap to transfer her. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time she'd been transferred. Still, the idea of losing her family hurt, even Johnny and all his meddling ways. Despite the piranhas now eating at her stomach she shrugged and attempted to dismiss his comment. "If Cap feels a transfer is necessary to preserve the crew then so be it."

Mike started to open his mouth when Alyssa jumped to her feet. "I think I found something."

"My adoption papers?" Gen asked.

"No." Alyssa shook her head. "It's a copy of your mom's birth certificate. Look at how old this thing is."

Gen took the paper and began reading over the information. The faded ink and the yellowed paper made it hard to understand.

"What do you need your adoption papers for?" Mike asked as he began thumbing through a different stack of papers.

"My Dad's family is now claiming that the adoption wasn't valid, therefore I'm not legally his daughter and not entitled to any of his estate."

"They just won't quit," Alyssa replied.

"Tell me about it," Gen replied as she continued to stare at the birth certificate. "So anyway, Uncle Andy said the court is asking for them. I'm not really sure why. Some of that court stuff I just don't understand, but I said I'd get them for him. The problem is I have no idea where Dad placed them. I assumed he would have kept them with all their important papers like this."

"Well," Mike pulled a tattered envelope from the bottom of his pile. "Could it possibly be in something like this?"

"Maybe." Gen set the birth certificate down and took the envelope from him. Sure enough inside was everything from her birth certificate showing she was indeed born in the United States to her parent's death certificates and adoption papers. "These are it."

For several minutes she sat reading through the document before she finally spoke. "I never realized they changed my name." She looked up at Mike and then Alyssa.

"You said your biological parents were Russian and Genevieve is Italian." Alyssa confirmed.

"Yeah, I know, but I guess I never really thought about it. My parents had thick Russian accents and my adopted parents didn't. When they called me Genevieve I just assumed that was the American way to say my name."

"Why?" Alyssa arched a brow. "What is your real name?"

"According to my birth certificate it's Zenavieva Angelique Petrov." She handed the paper to Alyssa who studied with wide eyes. "Well, maybe Genevieve is the Italian translation for Zenavieva, either way I think it's really cool."

"You might want to see this." Mike handed her a photograph he pulled from inside the envelope. The slightly faded picture appeared charred around the edges, but it was the contents of the photo that had tears pooling in Gen's eyes. "Oh. My. God." She brushed a finger over the images of a man and woman holding an infant.

Alyssa leaned over her shoulder and stared at the picture. "Who are those people?"

"My birth parents," Gen whispered as she stared at faces she hadn't seen in twenty years and for a moment she swore she could almost hear their voices. "I had no idea anything besides me and my teddy bear survived the fire."

Mike turned the envelope upside done and several smaller photos dropped onto the table. Gen took her time sorting through the pictures. "Dad never told me he had these." She glanced at Alyssa then back to the pictures. "I have a connection to my past I didn't know existed."

"You want to know something else?" Mike asked as he studied her mother's birth certificate.

"What?"

He turned the paper to face her and pointed to a box in the corner. "Look at your grandmother's maiden name."

Gen felt the shock ripple through her as she studied the faded lettering. "Does that say what I think it says?"

Mike smiled. "Your grandmother's last name was Stoker."

"No way," Alyssa craned her neck to see. "Is it possible you two are related?"

Gen glanced at Mike then back to the paper. "I guess, but I don't have any way of finding out. According to what I know, my adopted grandmother died in childbirth. My mom was her only child."

"What about your Grandfather?" Alyssa prodded.

"He was killed in the war and my mom ended up being raised by her Grandmother who is long since passed. There isn't anyone for me to talk to about this."

"Maybe not." Mike pushed away from the table. "But I have plenty of people I can ask."

An hour later Gen sat on the couch inside Mike's Grandparent's home and listened as Charles Stoker regaled tales about his older sister Eileen. "She was always getting in trouble of one thing or another," he chuckled. "Out of all of us I think she probably felt the pain of the switch the most." He smile faded a bit as he stared at Gen. "When she was eighteen she ran off with some guy and got herself pregnant. They married and she died giving birth to your ma."

Gen nodded. "Mom told me. She said your mom raised her."

Charles nodded. "That's true enough. Though, I dare say ma wasn't too happy about having to raise yet another child when her youngest was already in double digits. Your mom, she was always a good girl. She never caused problems when she was growing up. I was sorry to hear she passed some time ago."

"Thank you. Dad said he notified some of mom's family, but only I think only one of her aunt's actually made it down for the service."

Charles nodded again. "I wanted to go, but my health has been steadily declining over the past few years." He again paused and his gaze bore into Gen. "The last time I set eyes you, you were about five or six years old. Oh I guess it was about six months or so after she and Tony adopted you." He shook his head. "You were a beautiful little girl with such sad eyes. Anyone could tell just by looking at you that you'd suffered a great loss in your life."

Gen swallowed down the large lump forming in her throat as long buried memories began to surface.

"Ma said she was proud of Olivia for being willing to take you in and give you a home. She said that you'd suffered enough already in your young life and deserved some happiness. Her only worry was that you'd end up scarred for life." His gaze raked over her. "From the looks of things I think you turned out all right."

"Yes, sir," Gen gave him a small grin. "Considering everything I think I turned out just fine."

* * *

Later that evening Gen sat on the floor and leaned back against the couch. She rested her head against Jason's knee as she continued to think about everything she'd learned that day. For years she'd struggled to come to terms with the fire, the loss of her parents and who she really was. Maybe that was why she'd been so eager to join the fire department. Oh sure, she'd wanted to make Tony proud, but even before she'd decided on her career path she'd been drawn to the flames. Yeah, the trucks were cool and the job was exciting, but dancing with the monster, taking away its life, killing it before it could kill. That's what drove her, but did it drive Zenavieva or Genevieve?

Did a name have the power to make a person?

Had she lost her identity when Tony and Olivia Conti changed her name or had they given her everything that made her who she was now? Gen closed her eyes, pictured both her birth parents and her adopted parents and felt her heart swell. In a way, she could consider herself lucky. She'd had not one, but two sets of parents who loved her with everything they had.

In truth, she was both Zenavieva and Genevieve. She was a Petrov and a Conti. She was Russian and Italian. She was all those things and so much more. She was a young, smart, hardworking woman who might be learning how to be independent, but she had great friends who would be there to lean on if she needed them.

She thought about Johnny and how far their friendship had degraded over the last few weeks. From day one, he'd been by her side, supporting and caring about her. He'd shared pieces of himself with her he'd never dare share with others and he'd given her a shoulder to cry on more times than she could count. He'd been a selfless friend, who only had her best interests at heart, even if he didn't have a very good way of showing it.

Then there was Jason. Cute, charming and just a little too friendly with the ladies for her taste. Just how many times had she witnessed other women hanging on him since they'd started dating? He still refused to call her his girlfriend and he tried just a little too hard to get her into bed. Suddenly coming to a decision, she pushed up and turned to face him. "We need to talk."

"Okay." He popped a piece of popcorn in his mouth. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Your 'friendly' ways with ex-girlfriends." Gen air quoted the word friendly with her fingers.

Jason set the bowl of popcorn aside and sighed. "I thought we settled this issue after the beach the other night."

"You decided the issue was settled," Gen argued. "I didn't."

"What do you want me to say, Genevieve? I have a tendency to attract women. It's a blessing and a curse."

Her brows winged up in surprise. "Wow, arrogant much?"

He pushed up from the couch and walked to the window. "It's not arrogance. It confidence and I can't help it if you're too insecure as a woman to accept my friendships with other women."

"Insecure?" she repeated. "I think it's more than just me being insecure, especially when you won't introduce me as your girlfriend and you allow other women paw all over you right in front of me."

"I told you that being my girlfriend is a title that must be earned," he argued. "And last I checked you still hadn't earned that privilege."

Anger flared through her as she pushed to her feet. _Arrogant son-of-a-bitch!_ "Well, if sleeping with you is the only way for you to acknowledge me as your girlfriend, then you can take that title and shove it up your ass."

He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. "Spare me that wounded innocent drama, will you? I mean really, Gen, sex is no big deal now a day. Practically everyone does the horizontal mambo now and again."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. What happened to the sweet, charming Jason who had made her stomach dance? "I'll have you know, not that it's any of your business mind you, but I've had plenty of sex in my life."

"Then what's the problem?" Jason challenged.

"The problem is, you want it for the wrong reasons," Gen shot back.

"There's only one reason that matters."

Gen shook her head. "I feel sorry for you," she said as she turned and walked to get her bag and coat.

"You feel sorry for me?" Jason echoed. "Why?"

"Because you can't see what's most important in life."

"Honey, the most important thing in life is having fun. The rest is just minutia."

She shook her head as resolve settled over her. This wasn't a relationship she wanted to pursue. She wanted someone who would love her with as much enthusiasm and desire as she could give. She wanted what both her birth and adopted parents had and she certainly wasn't going to find it with Jason.

"You call it minutia. I call it living life." She shook her head. "This isn't going to work."

His smirk slowly morphed into a frown. "What do you mean it isn't going to work?"

She stuffed her arms through the sleeves of her jacket. "I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants, Jason. I'm tired of living my life just to please others and right now I'm going to do what's right for me."

"Here we go again." He rolled his eyes. "Are you really going to let, _him_ come between us?"

She reached for the handle, then glanced back at him. "Who?"

Jason frowned. "You know who."

Yeah, she knew exactly who. "He has nothing to do with my decision, but I will tell you one thing."

"What's that?"

"He was right when he said you were a playboy and a good friend would have listened to what he had to say. Goodbye, Jason." Without waiting for a reply, she turned and walked out the door.

* * *

"You're putting us on," Chet questioned as Gen helped him mop the floor in the apparatus room.

"Nope." She grinned as she glanced over at Mike who was polishing the engine. "His Grandfather confirmed that my grandmother was his sister."

"Which means," Mike continued. "That Gen and I are second cousins."

Roy grinned. "It also means that you have family."

"I know." Gen returned his smile. For the first time since her father died she didn't feel quite so alone. While the guys had done their best to make her feel like family, it still wasn't the same as actually having family. Even if they were extended, Mike's side of the Stoker family tree had welcomed her with open arms.

"So have you told Jason about all this?" Marco asked then glanced around as if to see if Johnny was listening.

Gen shook her head. "No. Jason and I are…well we decided it was time to start seeing other people."

Johnny's head popped up from behind the squad. "Really, what happened?"

Gen cringed at the hopefulness in his tone and went on the immediate defense. Damn him for taking pleasure from her situation. "Not that it's any of your business, but I just decided that I'm not ready to take on the responsibility of a relationship."

"Riigghhtt," Johnny drolled. "Now why don't you tell us the real reason."

"That is the real reason." She stuffed the mop into the bucket with such force that water sloshed over the side. "God, why do you always have to be such a jerk?"

"Oh I'm the jerk?" Johnny asked. "At least I'm not the one lying to his friends and then getting all nasty when they start asking questions."

"I'm not lying," she shouted.

"That's it!" Cap's voice carried through the apparatus room. "Gage! Conti! My office! Now!"

Gen shot Johnny an evil look as she stomped past him to Captain Stanley's office. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut?

"Close the door, Gage," he ordered, then began to pace the tiny room. "I warned you two about the fighting and the arguments. I gave you both a chance to resolve this issue and shape up. Yet, it continues." He shook his head. "The morale in this station is going straight down the tubes because of you two and by God it's going to stop, now." He motioned to Gen. "I'm sorry, Genevieve. I really don't want to do this but you both have left me no choice. I will be writing up disciplinary reports for both your files and Gen since you were the last one in, you're the first one to go. Your report will accompany a transfer order. After this shift you'll be off until you're re-assigned. I'm sorry to say your time here at 51 has come to an end."

Before he could continue the klaxon sounded and the three of them ran from the office. _Station 51, truck 127 accident with injuries, World Picture Studios, 1121 Fairmont Street, one-one-two-one Fairmont, time out sixteen twelve._

Gen slid into the squad between Johnny and Roy for what she realized would probably be the last time and grabbed her helmet. It wasn't like Cap hadn't given them ample opportunity to work things out. Instead, she'd continued to fight with him. She had no one to blame for her transfer but herself.

Less than ten minutes later they stood staring up at the twenty-story building where two stunt men dangled precariously over the side, their lines ensnared.

"Well, there's no way 127 will be able to reach them," Cap sighed. "I guess we have no choice but to go up top and repel down. John, Gen, Roy, grab your gear. Well get some ropes and be right up."

After a quick walk to the building and a long elevator ride to the top floor they climbed the access stairs to the roof. Cap assessed the area while Gen, John and Roy peered over the side down at the victims.

"Okay," Cap clapped his hands together. "I guess we'll use those pipes to anchor your lines." Cap pointed toward a grouping of pipes a few feet away. "They look a little old, so not my first choice, but there really isn't anything better. Gen you and John go over after the victims."

"Uh, Cap, maybe I should go instead," Roy offered.

Cap shook his head. "Not this time Roy. My confidence in our anchor points isn't that high. I think for this situation the less stress we place on them the better. Since Gen and Johnny are the lightest they go."

A couple of minutes later Gen found herself climbing over the wall. She took a deep breath and tried not to look down as she made that first precarious step. It was always that initial moment of going over the side of the building that had her heart lodged in her throat. Once she was over and repelling, the rest was cake. "More slack," she call once, twice and a third time before finally reaching the victims. Both were conscious and appeared to have only minor injuries.

Johnny stopped on the opposite side and she heard Cap yell to tie them off. With the line now secure she began her initial assessment. "Are you hurt anywhere? Is anything broken?" She asked as she looked over the man.

"No. I don't think so."

"Can you climb back up with help?"

"Yeah. No problem."

Gen glanced up at where the men peered over looking down at them then shifted her attention to Johnny. "Johnny, how you want to do this?"

"Well, if those anchor points are as shaky as Cap thinks, it might be best to take them up on single lines one at a time. Roy's up top so he can assess them while we climb back up. Besides, I don't think we have the manpower here to pull more than one at a time."

Gen nodded. "Whatever you think is best." While she might be mad at him, he was still one of the best paramedics and rescue men she knew and she trusted his judgment.

Cap threw over another rope and between Gen and Johnny they managed to transfer the first man from the snarled lines to the free one. "Okay take him up," Gen yelled.

Slowly the first man made his way up the side of the building until finally he disappeared over the top. A few moments later the rope dropped back down to them and they repeated the process with the second man. From their static positions they watched him also slowly climb the wall. He was nearly to the top when Johnny's rope gave a sudden jerk. "What the?" Before he could finish his sentence the rope went slack.

_Johnny!_ In a moment of sheer panic Gen lunged for him, catching John by the wrist. The momentum of his fall caused her arm to jerk when he stopped. She heard the popping sound a split second before the searing pain began. She let out a scream, but somehow managed to hold onto Johnny's hand as his momentum was now forced in a different direction and he slammed into the wall. The vibration shook through her injured arm and shoulder and a sickening feeling flooded her stomach as he went limp below her, instantly becoming dead weight. "Johnny!" she screamed only to hear silence in response.


	12. Chapter 12

_So I'm on a roll and really excited about these next few chapters. Things are happening fast. Not to mention that I really need to get back to writing 'paid' fiction, but I don't want to leave you all hanging for what could end up being another six months or more. So I want to finish this before I disappear again. _

* * *

"Help me!" Not trusting her injured arm Gen struggled against the movement of the rope as she fought to get her good arm down to where she could grab Johnny's wrist and failed.

Fire burned through her arm and shoulder as the tendon's pulled under the tension, even as her muscles contracted in spasm. Everything in her body screamed for her to let go and ease some of the pain, but her mind fiercely fought back.

Regret coursed through her, all the nasty things she'd said, the horrible words she'd slung at him swirled in her brain. She'd give everything to be able to take it all back.

"Hang on, Gen, Roy's coming down," Captain Stanley urged. "Whatever you do, don't let go."

_Never!_ Her gaze cut from above to below to where Johnny dangled, then beyond. She swallowed hard against the bile building in her throat and the sudden need to vomit. The only thing standing between Johnny and certain death was her damaged shoulder and five fingers. _Dear God, please help me to not let go._

"More Slack," she could hear Roy's panicked voice urging from somewhere above her. "Damn it, I said more slack."

She could feel her fingers weakening and made a second attempt to grab his wrist with the other hand. After the third swing she finally managed to latch onto his wrist. Having two hands holding him gave her only a marginal sense of relief. "Hurry, Roy. I don't know how much longer I can hold him," she begged. If she lost her grip she'd never be able to live with the guilt or the grief.

"Hang on, Gen. I'm almost there."

Her grip was slipping, she could feel Johnny's arm slowly inching its way from her. "Oh God, hurry Roy. I'm losing him," she now sobbed as a fresh shot of panic skittered through her system along with another shot of adrenaline. Desperate for some sort of anchor point, she dug her fingers into his arm, using what little fingernails she had to better grip him.

They hung there for what seemed like hours before Roy finally arrive. "Don't let go until I say, all right?"

Gen nodded. "Just get him before he slips anymore."

After another few moments Gen heard the sweet click of metal against metal, followed by Roy's voice. "Okay, you can let go now."

Her fingers had cramped into position and it took a few seconds for her to finally let go. The moment she did Roy motioned to them above. "Get us out of here, now!"

Gen watched him work his way up the side of the building with a bleeding and still unconscious Johnny until they finally disappeared over the top. Immediately her line began to move and using her good arm she did her best to help pull herself up.

"Watch her shoulder," Roy yelled and a moment later hands appear over the side reaching for her.

It took some work for them to pull her to safety without jarring her shoulder, but they eventually managed. "Wow, that was close," Cap said.

She started to reply only to have her knees buckle the moment her feet hit the ground. Caps eyes went wide as he reached for her. "Whoa, uh, Roy!"

Roy glanced over from where he was assessing Johnny's condition. "Yeah, Cap."

"I think we have a problem here." He replied as he sank to the ground with Gen against him.

She could feel Cap's heartbeat against her back, see Roy's eyes widened with terror as he looked from her to Johnny and back, but could do little to assure either of them that she was all right.

"I can't leave him yet, Cap," Roy replied. He motioned. "Chet, come here." Chet raced to where Roy had set up, accepted gear and instructions and quickly returned.

"Roy wants us to get vitals on her, get her shoulder immobilized and assess her for any other injuries."

Even as Chet's words took root, her vision began to tunnel and that oh so familiar feeling of lightheadedness appeared. She let out a gasp, then another as her body began to shake with violent tremors. Helpless to do anything, she simply watched as the others worked to treat her and Johnny.

Her focus remained on Johnny and his condition and fear gripped her as she noted how there was a bit more urgency in Roy's movements and his facial features remained pinched with concern. He contacted Rampart and relayed Johnny's condition. Vaguely she noticed Mike and Chet crowding around her, removing the rope and her safety harness, yet her gaze remained locked on Roy and Johnny.

One of the guys took her good arm in his hand and held it. For a moment there was pressure around her bicep and then someone was shouting. "Roy, BP is 150 over 110." Then Stoker stripped off his turnout and eased it over her shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm. All the while Cap held her against him whispering against her ear that everything was going to be all right.

"It's all right. Johnny is safe now. You both are. You did great, Gen. He's going to be okay. You'll see." _But he's not moving. He's not conscious. He could have… _She sucked in a ragged breath as fear tightened its grip yet again. It didn't matter that they were safely on the roof. As long as he remained unconscious nothing in her world would be right.

After a few minutes, Roy handed Marco Johnny's IV bag, scooped up his gear and rushed toward where Gen still sat propped against Cap. "Mike, get your turn out off her, then let's get her on her back. Cap, watch her shoulder. I'm pretty sure it's dislocated."

Gen stared blankly at Roy as he gave orders then began fishing through the drug box. "Honey, Brackettt wants me to start an IV and get some morphine in you for the pain, okay?'

She barely managed a nod. She desperately wanted to ask him about Johnny's condition, but couldn't find the power of speech.

"Roy, she hasn't said a word since we pulled her over the wall," Captain Stanley's concerned voice drifted through her consciousness. "She's shaking terribly and that shoulder has to be hurting her yet she hasn't so much as whimpered when we move her. Is she okay?"

"No," Roy's reply didn't really shock her as she laid there and listened. She certainly didn't feel okay. "Her blood pressure is sky high and she's suffering some mild shock. The fluids and morphine should help. So will the diazepam Brackettt ordered."

She felt the needle slid into her arm and could only manage to stare up at Roy as he spoke. "Just try to relax. We're going to get you both to the hospital in just a minute, okay?"

She managed another nod.

"Good." He turned his attention away from her. "Cap I'm gonna need some help with transporting. The one man has a bad gash on his head and needs to be looked at. The other one as some minor cuts and abrasions from what I can tell, but he still needs to go in and be checked over. Plus with Johnny and Gen, there isn't enough room in one ambulance for all of us and they both have IV's and can't go in alone."

"Can Chet ride in one ambulance with Gen and you take Johnny and the two men in the other?"

Roy nodded. "It's not protocol, but then the only other choice is to wait for another squad. I'll have to check with Rampart."

He turned back to the biophone. "Rampart we have a little problem. I can't fit everyone into one ambulance and I have two victims with IV's. A member from Engine 51 has volunteered to ride in the second ambulance with Gen if that's all right. Otherwise there will be a delay in transport while we wait for another squad."

"Do what you need to, 5 1, just get them in here stat," Brackettt's voice carried through the handset.

"10-4 Rampart." Roy shrugged. "You heard the man."

A few minutes later Gen opened her eyes and stared up into the face of one Chester B. Kelly. She licked her lips. "W-weren't we just on the rooftop?"

Chet gave her a small smile. "Yeah, about ten minutes ago. Since you're talking again and the shaking has almost stopped I'd guess those drugs Roy gave you are working, huh?"

Gen nodded. "I guess so. How's Johnny?"

Chet shook his head. "I don't know. He was still unconscious when they loaded him into the ambulance."

Gen held Chet's gaze for a moment as cold hard reality began to sink in. "H-he…" she began to stutter.

"Shhh." Chet placed a gentle hand over hers. "Don't go getting yourself all worked up again. It's over and he's going to be all right. You'll see."

"I-" She shook her head. "It all happened so fast. I just reacted."

"It's a good thing you did," Chet replied. "You know." He arched a brow. "That's twice since you've been here that you've saved one of our hides. I'm beginning to think you're some kind of good luck charm."

At the moment she didn't feel like much of anything except broken and battered. Exhausted, worried and in pain she tried to close her eyes and relax.

The next time she opened her eyes she was staring into the face of Doctor Mike Morton. _Oh that's just wonderful!_ Of all the doctors she could have ended up with he was probably the bottom of her list. While she didn't doubt his medical ability he had the bedside manner of a junkyard dog. She wished Dr. Early was there instead.

"I hear you had quite an adventure this afternoon." Morton smiled down at her.

"I'm not sure I'd call it an adventure," Gen replied.

"No, I guess not." He released the sling. "I'm going to need to move this arm to assess your shoulder."

Gen nodded. "I know, Doc. Do what you need to."

He was gentle in his movements, but the pain still came as the muscles in her arm contracted under the movement. She grimaced and despite her best effort let out a shout.

"I'm sorry, I know that hurts," he said. "Yell if you need to, but understand that I have to position it for ex-rays then we'll see about getting it put back in place. Okay?"

She nodded. "Listen, Doc. Can you find out about Johnny for me? He hit the side of the building hard and was still unconscious when they loaded him in the ambulance."

"I'll see what I can find out." He patted her hand. "You just lay still and relax."

By the time he returned the pain medication Roy gave her earlier had all but worn off and she struggled to keep her composure.

"Doc, her BP is 135 over 95," the nurse relayed.

Morton looked down at her. "Are you in pain again?"

Gen gave him a nod. "Some, and worried to death. Doc, what did you hear about Johnny?"

Morton shook his head. "There's nothing really to tell yet. Kel is still with him."

A fresh shot of fear gripped at her and she tried to sit up. "What do you mean nothing yet? It's been nearly an hour since the accident."

Morton pushed her back down. "I know that, but like I said, Kel is still in with Johnny. He's in good hands and you know it. Now I want you to lay still and relax or I'm going to sedate you." He rubbed a finger against his chin. "Come to think of it I'll probably do it anyway. Getting that shoulder back in socket isn't going to be a pleasant experience."

Remembering the last time she'd come out of sedation Gen nearly flinched. It wasn't a pleasant experience either and one she really wanted to avoid. "I'd rather not be completely under, Doc."

Morton smiled as he motioned to the nurse. "Sorry, but this isn't open for negotiation."

Emotionally exhausted, Roy stepped out of treatment room two, right into the expectant stares of four very worried firemen. "He's awake and coherent." Roy said and felt the tension immediately ease.

"So he's gonna be okay?" Chet asked. Roy inwardly grinned. As much as Johnny and Chet went at each other, deep down they were good friends. "Well, he took six stitches to close the gash on his head and he's nauseous, still seeing double and his head hurts pretty bad, but Brackettt seems to think he'll be just fine."

There was a collective sigh before Marco asked. "Do you know about Gen?"

"Yeah." Chet nodded. "She was pretty shaken up. I mean she seemed a little better in the ambulance on the way in, but still…" His gaze met Roy's. "It was terrifyingly close there for a few minutes."

"Too close," Cap added. "If she hadn't caught him." He shook his head.

Roy didn't want to think about the alternative. "Yeah. What the hell happened anyway?"

"Well." Cap stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the wall. "After you guys left, Mike, Marco and I went back up to the roof to investigate. After Marco crawled on his back beneath the piping he found a spot on the downside of the back of the pipe Johnny's rope was anchored." His gaze dropped to the tiled floor. "It must have been a vent pipe, otherwise I would think somebody would have noticed that it had rusted. Anyway a piece of the metal was sticking out. With all the movement on Johnny's line it appears that the metal acted like a blade and sawed right through John's rope."

He scuffed his foot across the floor. "I should have made you guys go back down for protective covers to use on the pipes before we anchored those lines."

"Cap, we all looked at those pipes, Johnny included, before we decided to anchor to them. It was an accident, plain and simple. You can't beat yourself up over this."

He looked up meeting Roy's gaze head on. "Like hell I can't, Roy. John nearly lost his life today because of my lack of judgment."

"But he didn't."

The door to treatment room four swung open and Doctor Morton appeared.

"How is she, Doc?" Roy asked, hoping for good news.

Mike pulled the stethoscope from around his neck and tucked it into his pocket. "Well, we got her shoulder back into place and immobilized the shoulder and arm. She's sedated right now and will be moved up to a room once her IV has run its course."

"How much damage do you think she did to it?" They all knew that an injury like hers had the potential to end careers.

"I'm not sure yet. There's a lot of swelling and tenderness right now. We'll give her some anti-inflammatory meds along with pain meds and keep her iced up for a few days. Once the swelling goes down I'll have her come back in for some more tests and we'll know more then." He paused and looked from one man to the other before returning his attention to Roy. "How long did she have a hold of him before you were able to reach them?"

Roy looked to Cap. "What do you say, Cap? Probably about 5 minutes maybe a little less."

Cap nodded. "I'd say that's about right."

Mike grimaced. "That's quite a bit of time to have all that extra weight pulling on an already damaged limb."

"She didn't have a choice, Doc," Chet piped up. "They were hanging fifteen stories in the air. If she'd let go, Johnny would be dead right now."

Mike held up his hands in defense. "Easy there, Chet. By no means am I saying what she did was wrong. I understand the circumstances surrounding her injury. I just hope it wasn't too much for too long is all."

Roy glanced over at the now closed treatment room door. He hoped so too, because he knew a certain paramedic who would never forgive himself if Gen ended up crippled from saving his life.


	13. Chapter 13

Her world was a mixture of sounds and smells, light and pain. Images of her father rescuing her as a child blurred and morphed into him burned and dying. _I'm still with you, baby girl. I'll always be with you_. The ghostly words drifted through her mind as she watched his casket lower into the ground. _I'm proud of you, princess. You're the best thing that ever happened to me._ He casket disappeared into the swirling blackness before morphing yet again.

She was hanging off the side of the building with Johnny dangling below her. He looked up at her, his eyes filled with terror. "Please don't let go."

"Never," she called back as she fought the tears now blurring her vision. _I love you!_ But no matter how hard she tried to hold onto him he continued to slip through her fingers. Her heart shattered the moment their connection broke and she screamed in horror as he fell.

"No!" Gen shot upright in the bed, then let out a second cry as a fresh wave of pain wracked her body. She grabbed her shoulder and sank back to the pillow, gasping for breath. _Just a nightmare. _ It was all just a nightmare.

Dazed she scanned the darkened room. _No._ _Not all of it. _ She slid a hand over the tape holding her shoulder in place as reality slowly returned. This wasn't the ER and she no longer had the IV. From the feel of the tape, Morton had made good on his promise to knock her out before he fixed her shoulder.

_What time is it?_ With her good hand she fumbled for the remote and turned on the television in the corner of the room. The late night news was on, which meant it was definitely after ten, maybe even after eleven.

_What in the hell kind of drugs did he give me?_ It had been near dinner time when the accident happened and now it was at least five hours later. Five hours later and she still didn't know Johnny's condition. She fumbled around and finally found the call button. Within a minute a nurse walked in. "Hey Gen, I'm glad to see you're finally awake."

"Hey, Patty," Gen did her best to smile at the nurse she'd worked with during paramedic training.

"I heard about what happened. How you feel?"

"Okay I guess. Uh, hey, Patty, can you see if you can find out about Johnny for me?"

Patty frowned. "Nobody has updated you on his condition?"

"I've been asleep, so no, I guess not."

"Well." Patty began fluffing Gen's pillow. "No worries, my friend. Johnny is resting comfortably three doors down in Room two ten. He has a concussion and I believe they said six stitches in his head, and he's going to be just fine."

In an instant Gen felt as if the weight of the world had lifted off her shoulders. "Thank God."

Patty removed the bag that was once full of ice. "From what I hear, injury wise you probably have it worse off than he does."

"Maybe," Gen offered, "but I didn't almost fall to my death either."

"True. Listen I'm going to get a fresh bag of ice and page Doctor Early. He wanted to see you when you woke. Then I'll be back. You need anything in the meantime?"

Gen shook her head. "No I'm good."

Patty had no sooner stepped out of the room when her door opened a second time. She looked up to see Jason silhouetted by the light from the hall. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." She motioned for him to enter. "Aren't you supposed to be working tonight?"

"I'm on a break," he replied, then sank into the chair next to her bed. "So I guess what I heard is true huh?"

"I don't know. What did you hear?"

"That you may have ended your career saving Johnny's life."

"Oh." Gen shifted uncomfortably in her bed and winced when her shoulder protested at the movement. She hadn't heard the words 'career ending injury' uttered by Doctor Morton. Still, she was smart enough to know that the possibility did exist. "I suppose it's possible."

He sighed. "Somehow I don't see this easing the complications in your life any."

Boy he was quick to throw her words back at her. Even so, this event had been out of her control. Not wanting to fight with him, she shook her head. "I suppose not, but I would have never been able to live with the alternative."

Jason smirked. "I definitely understand. While I may not like Gage that well, I'd never want to see anything bad happen to him. He's a good paramedic and he helps a lot of people."

"He's also a very good friend," Gen murmured. So maybe she did feel like fighting just a little. "Which is more than I've been lately."

"Let's not forget he was putting his nose in where it didn't belong," Jason corrected.

"He was only trying to look out for me," she defended and realized for the first time that she actually meant those words. While Johnny's approach left a lot to desire, his intentions were genuine.

Jason straightened in his chair. "Sounds like you're taking his side."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but he was more right than either of us wanted to admit."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't like having other women calling my boyfriend at home and I certainly don't like having them hanging all over him right in front of me."

"So we're back to the episode at the beach again?"

Gen shook her head. "No, we're not. I really don't want to go there again, Jason. We've already been over this. I'm not comfortable dating a guy with so many ex-girlfriends that he still considers friends and you want more from me than I'm willing to give right now."

"So you're really going to let him come between us?" Jason shot back.

"Like I said before, he has nothing to do with this," Gen argued. She lifted her good arm and covered her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm in no condition to do this right now, Jason. Thank you for checking in on me, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave now."

He sighed and she heard the scrape of the chair against the floor as he stood. "Okay, I'm going. For what it's worth, I really did like you, Gen and I wouldn't have cheated on you."

"I know," she replied without opening her eyes. Deep down, she didn't really believe him, but arguing that point wasn't worth another fight. "I'm sorry I couldn't have given this relationship a chance, but there's too much upheaval in my life right now. I don't know what I want from myself let alone anyone else."

His breath drifted across her cheek right before the warmth of his lips touched her skin. "Take care of yourself, Gen and if you ever want to give us another try, let me know."

* * *

Hours passed as Gen struggled to find a comfortable position. The pain meds helped a lot, but nothing helped to settle her mind. Every time she'd close her eyes and start to drift off, the accident came flooding back in vivid color and the ever-so-present what if's would take over her thoughts. After laying in the quite darkness for who knew how long, she finally gave in and turned the television back on just for some sound.

By the time the late, late, late show ended, Gen was no closer to sleep than she'd been after she'd first come out of the sedative. Her brain had simply refused to shut off. Instead it rolled over everything that had happened to her over the past month. From the burn she'd suffered six weeks before, to her father's funeral and her rocky and brief relationship with Jason, to her fights with Johnny and finally the earlier accident. It processed each event over and over until she was sure she'd go insane.

Without another thought she eased herself out of the bed and slipped on the extra gown Patty left her. Maybe she'd just peek in on Johnny. No doubt this time of the morning he'd be sleeping, but maybe if she saw him her brain would finally settle and she'd be able to sleep.

Carefully, she opened the door and peeked into the hall. Seeing it clear, she walked the three doors down to Johnny's room and using her good hand pushed opened the door. She stepped inside and let the door slowly close behind her. With the moonlight shining through the window she could make out his features and noted the large white bandage on his forehead. Six stitches lay beneath the protective barrier, six stitches that would probably leave a permanent reminder of what almost happened.

It took a moment for her to realize his eyes were open and he was looking at her. "I-I'm sorry if I woke you," she practically whispered. "I just…well. I couldn't sleep and I needed to see for myself that you're okay."

A small smile tipped his lips. "I'm good. Thanks to you."

His acknowledgement of her actions humbled her and she let her gaze drift to the floor as he struggled to find the right words.

"How's the shoulder?"

"It hurts," she replied and looked up at him. "but I'll take it over the alternative." With those words tears welled and she sucked in a ragged breath as a month's worth of pent up emotions bubbled to the surface. "I-I'm so sorry, Johnny. You have no idea how horrible I feel about all this. I've been selfish and immature and I've treated you so terribly lately."

He pushed up in the bed. "Well, it's not like the situation has been all one sided. I've done my fair share of egging you on."

"Still." She shook her head. "You were only looking out for me. You were trying to be a good friend and I was nothing but horrible in return."

"Well, maybe I was a little jealous of Jason too," Johnny admitted.

"Jealous?" Gen's eyes widened as she stared at him. "But why?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "It's just, we've gotten so close since you started at 51 and I really enjoy spending time with you. Then Jason came along and you barely had time for me anymore. I've never really had a best friend who was a woman." He paused. "I mean Roy's my best friend, but then so are you. We have so much in common and we get along so well." He gave her a small grin. "Most of the time anyway."

She wiped at the tears with her good hand. "Some friend I've been, huh?"

"It's okay."

She shook her head again. "No, it's not okay. It hasn't been okay for weeks and I don't know that it will ever be okay again. W-when I saw you start to fall, well, I don't think I've ever felt terror like that. Not even when my dad died. Then we were hanging there and I could feel you slipping though my fingers, s-slipping away from me." Her words came faster now, practically running over each other as she cried. "All I could think about was how horrible I'd been to you and how I'd give anything to take it all back."

She rubbed her hand against her temple at the start of a headache. "Even the idea of you not being part of my life creates such a deep swirling grief inside me I physically hurt." A giant sob escaped as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I couldn't let you fall. I knew if I –if I watched you die I'd never be able to go on. I-" She shook her head. "I couldn't lose you too."

"Honey, come here." He lowered the bedrail.

She walked to the side of the bed where, mindful of her shoulder, he helped her lay down next to him. With the gentlest of kisses he brushed his lips first over her forehead, then across her damp cheek. "You're not going to lose me, sweetheart. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

She sobbed against him as he reached behind her and pulled up the bedrail, then covered her with the blanket, settled in and let her cry.

Roy poured a cup of coffee and turned to sit down at the table just as Cap walked in. "Well I see you didn't sleep any better than I did."

* * *

Cap shook his head. "Tossed and turned all night. Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was Gen and Johnny hanging on the side of that damn building."

Roy set his cup on the table. "I know. I'd get just about asleep and then I'd hear her scream and begging me to hurry." He looked up at Cap just as the others walked in. "I didn't really think about the anguish in her voice until after it was all over. Cap, she was absolutely terrified."

Cap nodded. "I can't even begin to imagine what it felt like for her to know Johnny's life was literally in her hands."

"Horrifying," Chet added as he too began to pour some coffee. "I've seen a lot of things over the years, but nothing scared me as much as watching the two of them yesterday."

"I don't know what was worse," Mike said. "Watching them hang like that or watching her crumble after the fact."

"She didn't crumble," Roy corrected. "You have to remember, Mike. A dislocation is a painful injury. Combine that with a massive amount of adrenaline pumping through her system and it was inevitable that she'd go into shock."

Chet nodded. "Makes sense I guess. Still, she's always in such control when she works. To see her panicked and terrified then nearly collapse." He shook his head. "The whole event was more than a little unsettling."

"For all of us," Roy agreed. "Listen, I'm going over to hospital as soon as shift ends if anybody wants to come."

"I'll go with you," Cap said. "I'll never be able to relax at home until I'm sure the two of them are okay."

Chet shook his head. "I have an appointment first thing this morning, but I'll stop by a little later."

"I'll go with Chet," Marco added.

"I'll wait for Alyssa to get off work then we'll head over," Mike said just as the crew from 'B' shift began to arrive.

"Hey guys," Dwyer greeted them as he entered then stopped and looked around. "So the rumor is true?"

Roy arched a brow. "What rumor?"

"About Johnny and Gen." He angled a thumb toward the door. "I heard from one of the guys over at one twenty seven that Johnny nearly died in a freak accident yesterday and that Gen saved him. Since they're not here I assume what I heard is true?"

Roy nodded. "It's true and we're all still pretty freaked out over it."

An hour later Roy and Cap walked into Rampart and met Dixie at the nurse's station. "Morning Dix."

"Oh, good morning, guys. I'm guessing you're here to see our favorite two patients."

Roy nodded. "How are they doing?"

Dixie shrugged. "Okay I guess. I haven't had time to go up to see them yet. Joe went up earlier to check on them and he said they were doing just fine. Hey, I'm due for a break. Give me just a minute and I'll go up with you."

Dixie notified her next in line that she was taking her break and the three of them headed for the elevator. "Mike filled us in before he went off shift. He's really worried about Gen's shoulder." She pushed the button for the second floor. "He's afraid the damage will be enough to end her career."

"Did he tell her that?" Cap asked.

Dixie shook her head. "He said there wasn't any point in worrying her until he had a better picture of the depth of her injuries."

"Believe me Dix, that possibility has crossed our minds, but the alternative was even worse." Roy added.

"Yeah." Dixie nodded. "I don't even want to think about that."

"Neither do we," Cap agreed.

The doors opened and they stepped onto the second floor. As they approached Gen's room Roy noticed the note taped to the door. "What's this?" He moved closer and read the note. _Patient moved to Room 210. Okay per Joe Early._

"Two ten is Johnny's room," Dixie arched a brow as they all made their way down the hall. Slowly Roy pushed open the door and was stunned by what he found inside. Johnny lay propped up in his bed asleep, his body slightly angled to the left where Gen lay partially on her right side, tucked into the crook of his arm with his right hand rested protectively on her hip.

"Well Joe never mentioned this," Dixie whispered as Roy stepped back out into the hallway and let the door close.

"By the looks of things I'd say they made up." He looked up at Cap who now was now smiling.

"Guess I won't need to transfer her after all."

* * *

_However, since this is fiction, I decided to suspend reality just a little since it fits the story. Therefore, I don't need anyone telling me about hospital protocol or how it would never happen. We all know this would have never been allowed in real life._


	14. Chapter 14

Gen stared out the hospital room window as she lay partially on her right side, Johnny's body providing support for her damaged shoulder from behind. A feeling of security settled over her as she tried to focus her mind on good thoughts.

"What are you thinking?" Johnny whispered against her ear, causing a weird tingle to start low in her belly. _What in the hell was that all about?_

"I'm trying not to think," she replied. "Every time I do all my mind drags me back to the accident and how close I came to losing you."

He slid a hand around her waist and pulled her a little tighter. "It's over. Try and let it go."

"I can't," she sighed as yet again tears welled and she blinked them back. "It's only been a few weeks since I buried my father. Even the thought that I nearly had to bury you too-" she choked on the words.

"Stop, sweetheart. Stop torturing yourself like this." He pressed as kiss to her neck that had that tingle in her belly starting all over again. "You need to rest."

"I can't." She shook her head. "Too much in my head for me to rest."

"Then talk to me. Fill me in on what's been happening in your life over the last few weeks. I'm sure with us fighting there's a lot I missed."

God she'd hated the fact that they'd fought, hated even more how guilt she now felt. She considered his request. It was certainly better than ruminating over the accident. "Okay."

"So, what's been going on?"

"Well," she tried to make her mind behave and focus on his request. "The police arrested the firebombers who killed my dad."

"That's great."

Gen nodded. "I suppose. I mean one is squealing on the other two, so at least two of them are going to go away for a long time. The Diaz family gets a little justice and I get some closure. Still.."

"You should be happy that they've been caught," Johnny replied. "It means they can't hurt anybody ever again."

"You're right, but…well…they were barely old enough to be considered adults, Johnny. The youngest was just seventeen."

"Old enough to know the difference between good and bad decisions."

"True," she replied and flinched at the twinge of pain in her shoulder, then desperately tried to ignore the sour stomach that followed. It seemed she was trading the pain in her shoulder for a pain her stomach and she wasn't happy about it. "So, my father's family is doing everything in their power to discredit me and take his estate."

"I was worried about that," Johnny murmured. "You know they're not going to win right?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "And if by chance they somehow did, I already have everything that means anything to me, so all they'd really be getting is money, which is all they really want anyway."

"They don't deserve a dime," Johnny grumbled.

"True, but I don't care. If they want the money then they have to take the headaches too, but Uncle Andy said they don't have a leg to stand on, so it doesn't matter anyway." She closed her eyes as she thought about the pictures she found. "By the way, did I tell you that my birth name is Zenavieva."

"Really?" She could hear the intrigue in Johnny's voice. "When did you find that out?"

"The same day I found out I was related to Mike." She'd stared at that picture of her parents so much over the last few days, she finally had the image burned into her mind. Funny, she thought as long hidden memories danced through her brain, how just a picture could bring back memories she thought were lost forever. "I have a pictures that didn't know existed and all kinds of documents and papers that apparently were pulled out of the rubble after the fire."

"That's exciting. So you kinda have a better idea of where you came from and who you are?"

"I guess you could say that," Gen considered his question. Did she really know who she was anymore now that she did before she found the documents? "I mean I have answers to some of the questions that were lingering in my life, but that doesn't mean I really know who I am."

Johnny eased away from her. "Look at me."

Gently, she turned so she lay on her back and stared up at him.

"Now you listen to me," he ordered. "You are an intelligent, vivacious, intriguing, woman with a heart of gold. Every day I work with you I see that sweet, caring spirit and it humbles me."

"Johnny," she whispered, only to have him place his finger over her lips.

"Hush, I'm not done yet," he scolded.

"But," she mumbled against his finger.

"I said hush." He shook his head as a slow grin tipped his lips. "Sometimes you can be so stubborn, tenacious, and impossible. Often time to your own detriment and my frustration. But then I just have to think about how dedicated, loyal and focused you are. Or what an amazing friend you can be." He moved his finger, curled it and ran a knuckle along her cheek. "And just when I think you can't possibly be any more special, all I have to do is look at you and I'm reminded of how beautiful and amazing you are, both inside and out." He paused and his look turned soft. "You know who you are?"

She couldn't help but return his smile. "Who am I?"

He leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead. "You're a beautiful woman and an amazing daughter." He kissed her left eye lid. "A fantastic co-worker." Then her right eye lid. "And an incredible friend." Next he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose and her breath caught in her chest as she stared up at him, wondering if he would actually kiss her for real. "You're Genevieve _and_ Zenavieva, but above all else…" He paused. "You're the love of my life."

Emotion welled in her chest as she stared up at him. _I love you! _ The words were there, sitting on the tip of her tongue, but before she could speak pain lanced through her and her stomach churned. She lifted her good hand and gave Johnny a push as she gasped.

"What?" His eyes filled with panic as he scrambled back enough to give her some room. "What's wrong?"

"Sick," Gen murmured as she cover her mouth and nodded toward the basin on the nearby table. He snagged the basin and brought it to her just as what little lunch she'd managed to eat came back up. Every muscle in her body tightened and tears pricked her eyes as pain streaked through her. She vomited, then cried out from the movement. Then promptly vomited again.

Johnny nearly broke the call button as he scrambled to find help.

Late that afternoon, Johnny watched the anchorman on the television screen, but didn't really hear what the man was saying. His mind spun through every event since the accident. So much had happened in the last twenty four hours, it almost seemed surreal. Their last fight…Cap's threat to transfer her…the accident, their apologies and his confession. _You're the love of my life._ The word swirled around his head as he thought back to earlier in the day. He'd never uttered anything close to those words before, but saying them to Gen…it just felt right.

His attention drifted back to where she finally slept quietly in the next bed. She was his everything and now that he had a real chance with her, no way was he going to let go. First things first, he needed to get her healthy again. Then he'd show her exactly how much he loved her. Of course after the setback she'd faced at lunch, he knew getting her healthy was going to take some time. She'd scared ten years off his life with her violent reaction to the oral pain medication Dr. Early had prescribed.

At the sound of the door opening Johnny turned in time to see Roy, Chet and Marco enter. "Hey." He pushed up so he sat a bit straighter in the bed.

"Hey yourself," Roy replied. "How you feeling?"

"Not bad. Everything is back to normal except the headache."

Roy nodded to Gen, who lay sleeping in second bed. "How's she doing?"

Johnny opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again as Cap pushed open the door and Mike followed him in. "John, you look a lot better."

"Feeling better, Cap," Johnny replied.

"How's Gen?"

Johnny glanced at Gen and felt the sadness settle over him again. In her bid to save him she'd taken the brunt of the damage, both physically and emotionally. By her own admission, she'd barely slept overnight. He'd hoped she'd sleep after her crying jag, but reoccurring nightmares, causing her to sleep in fits and spurts, dashed that hope. "Not good," he replied as he studied her. "She's not sleeping well and she's in a lot of pain."

"Not surprising, considering what she went through," Mike offered.

Cap turned his attention to Gen and his lips thinned into a frown. "She still looks a little pale and I thought they took her off the IV."

"She struggled to eat her lunch." Johnny stared at her as he remembered the fear he'd experienced the moment she'd started vomiting. The strain of her muscles contracting had caused her to moan and sob in pain even as she puked into the basin. By the time they'd managed to settle her, she'd turned white as a sheet and was covered in a sheet of sweat. "She said her stomach was bothering her. Then about a half hour later, we were talking and suddenly she started vomiting. Doctor Brackett is convinced she had an allergic reaction to the oral pain medication. So he put her back on the IV and gave her a dose of Benadryl, which is why…" he let his sentence trail off as he caught himself. They didn't need to know she'd crawled into bed with him, or how damn good it had felt to hold her in his arms.

"Which is why?" Chet prompted.

"Which is why she's now in her own bed, instead of sharing a bed with Johnny, like she was doing when we stopped by earlier this morning," Roy explained and leveled a look on John that nearly had him squirming inside.

Chet's mouth gaped open, even as Marco and Mike exchanged glances. "Guess that means you two made up?"

Johnny started to nod, then caught himself. His brains had been rattled enough lately. He certainly didn't need to make his headache worse. "Yeah," he replied not really caring what the guys thought anymore. The only thing that mattered was getting Gen better. "It's amazing how a near death experience can remind you of what is truly important in life."

"No kidding," Roy replied.

Gen's body jerked, catching John's attention. He studied her as her face scrunched with pain. He tensed and grabbed his blanket.

"What is it?" Roy asked.

"She's having another nightmare," Johnny replied. "They seem to happen when her pain medicine is wears off."

She jerked again, and let out a scream. Johnny tossed the cover off and scrambled across to her bed. "Genevieve." He grabbed her one good shoulder. "Wake up, honey."

"No! God No!" she cried as her eyes flew open and she sat straight up in bed. Then cried out again as she grabbed her shoulder.

"Easy, sweetheart," Johnny soothed. "Easy. It's okay."

She sucked in several quick deep breaths while she focused on him. "Johnny?"

He gave her a small smile and brushed the hair from her face. "In the flesh."

With her good arm, she reached for him and he pulled her against him where she rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "Thank God," she sighed.

"You're shoulder hurting again?"

She nodded. "A little, but nothing I can't handle."

"My tough girl," Johnny murmured as he stroked a hand through her hair. "Hey Roy, can you get Doctor Brackett for me?"

"Sure thing."

Gen opened her eyes and pulled back. "I said I could handle it."

He stroked a knuckle along her cheek. "I know you did, and I know you can, but I don't want you to have to handle it." He eased her back against the pillow and pressed a soft kiss to her nose. "No pain, no nightmares, right?"

She nodded and gave him a small smile. "Right." She glanced over his shoulder, apparently noticing the guys for the first time. "Hey."

"Glad to see you talking and coherent," Mike replied.

"Me too," she replied. "Unfortunately, I don't think I'm coming back to work anytime soon."

"That's okay," Chet replied. "I think I can speak for all of us when we say, just take your time and get better."

The men nodded. "And whatever you need," Marco added "We'll be there for you."

Johnny pulled her attention back to him and cradled her cheek in his palm. "Every step of the way, baby. Every step of the way."


	15. Chapter 15

"So here's how this is going to work," Doctor Brackett stood inside Johnny and Gen's hospital room and looked from one to the other. "I am releasing both of you with restrictions. Johnny, no driving for a week, no alcohol and limit your intake of caffeine. Gen, no driving indefinitely, no unnecessary use of that arm and you are to return in three days for further tests. Plus, Neither of you are in any condition to be left alone."

From her bed Gen slid a sideways glance at Johnny and caught the scowl crawling across his face. He really was one of the worst patients she'd ever seen and Brackett's orders would not be well received. "Doc, we're not children. We can take care of ourselves," Johnny protested.

"I know that Johnny and this isn't a punishment." Brackett argued. "I don't have to tell you about the side effects that can come with a head injury and Gen's shoulder is going to severely limit her mobility. She _is_ going to need help with day to day tasks until she can learn to adapt."

"Well," Johnny sighed. "We'll both be off work, so we'll just stay with each other."

Gen bit her lip in an attempt to hide her grin. As nice as the idea might be, no way was Brackett going to let that idea fly.

Brackett shook his head. "Wrong. I've already talked to Roy. Johnny you're going to stay with him for the next few days." He turned and looked at Gen. "Hank Stanley wants you to stay with his family. At this point we're not sure how long it might be. Your discharge papers are being prepared, so you'll be ready to go in about an hour." He motioned to a bag resting in a chair near the door. "Oh and Mike Stoker dropped that bag off for you, Gen. He said it was from Alyssa?"

"Thanks, Doc."

She waited until the door closed before she ventured another look at Johnny. He still wore a scowl. "We could have taken care of each other."

She did her best to hide the smile that threatened to show. Sometimes he reminded her more of a kid trapped in an adult body than a grown, responsible man. "You know as well as I, it wouldn't be a good idea."

"Yeah, okay," he sighed and nodded toward the bag. "You gonna go get dressed?"

She scooped up the bag with her good arm. "Absolutely. I'm tired of hospital gowns." She headed into the bathroom and began digging through the bag. Inside she found sweatpants, a bra, tee-shirt and shoes and socks. _Thank you Alyssa!_ "I won't be long in the bathroom okay?"

Johnny nodded, his attention mostly focused on some soap opera, "Fine." She couldn't help but smile Never in all her life had she seen a grown man as addicted to soap operas as John Gage. She shook her head and made her way into the bathroom. He'd blamed his television vice on the last time he'd been hospitalized. From what Roy told her that was well before she'd started, yet Johnny's addiction continued.

She closed the bathroom door and flipped on the light. Looking at the bag Gen knew she now faced her first of many new challenges. _Let's see if I can do this._ It didn't take long for her to realize she had a major problem. While dressing her bottom half wasn't quite the chore she expected, she hit a wall with her bra.

Gritting through the pain she managed to get the strap up her arm and over her bad shoulder, then she shrugged into the other side and stared blankly into the mirror. _Well that's a problem._ With the clasp in the back there wasn't any way she could finish the task. _Fantastic!_ Not even twenty four hours after the accident and she'd already come across her first snag. This injury was going to end up being the biggest inconvenience of her life. _Well you can't stay like this and you can't go braless._

Swallowing her pride she did the only thing she could. "Uh…Johnny I need some help."

A moment later his voice came from the other side of the door, a hint of panic in his tone. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just need help with something."

"Okay….um, I'm coming in."

He opened the door and instantly stopped, his gaze met hers in the mirror and his lips tipped into a lopsided grin as he leaned against the doorframe. "Well, _that_ is certainly not what I expected."

Despite her embarrassment she did her best to return his smile. "I bet. Can you just keep the comments to yourself and help me out?" Using her immobilized arm to hold the front of the bra in place she then lifted her hair out of the way with her good hand. "Please?"

"You know." Johnny stepped into the room. "There may actually be some perks to this injury of yours." His hands slid along her back causing an involuntary shiver to ripple through her system.

"Perks for who?" she managed to ask.

"Well for me of course." He closed the clasp on her bra.

She eyed him in the mirror. "And what would that be?"

He leaned down, and brushed his lips along her neck. "I get to see you half naked."

"You've already seen me completely naked," she reminded.

"True." He arched a brow. "Though, just once I'd like to have that opportunity without you being injured." He pressed a kiss to the base of her neck and she gasped at the zing that lit through her system. In an instant the air in the room changed, heating. For a moment his gaze held hers in the mirror. Then he slowly began trailing his lips along the flesh at the base of her neck. "Still, even injured you are so damn beautiful." He pressed a gentle kiss on the sensitive skin right behind her ear. Instinct caused her lean back against him as she turned her head to look at him. He held her gaze for just a moment before the warmth of his hands wrapped around her waist and he turned her to face him.

A dozen reasons existed as to why she should step away and make him leave, but none of them outweighed the only reason her heart cared about. Gently his hands cupped her face, he hesitated, his eyes searching hers for the permission she desperately wanted to give. "Tell me to stop," he whispered.

She swallowed hard and gave a slight shake of her head. It was time for her to follow her heart. "I don't want to."

A hint of his infamous crooked smile passed over his face as he lowered his head to hers. The first touch of his lips was feather soft, a teasing hint of what lay ahead. Her eyes drifted shut and she gripped his bicep with her good hand as she tentatively kissed him back. Gently, his tongue traced along her bottom lip and on a whimper, she sank into the kiss. How could something that was wrong on so many levels feel so very right?

She'd barely finished her thought when he slowly pulled back and arched a brow. "I'm pretty sure, we're creating another complication in your life."

He was right, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but what her heart wanted. "I don't care," she replied as she grabbed him by the hair and pulled him back down for another kiss.

He groaned against her lips as he took charge. His hands slid along her waist, down over her hips and came to rest on her butt. He pulled her against him and she gasped at the feel of his hard planes and angles pressed against her.

That strange tingle living low in her belly bloomed into a raging fire of need.

After a moment he slowly pulled back. "We can't do this."

A flicker of panic appeared in her chest. "What do you mean? You said you loved me?"

He smiled. "Honey, I do love you, but you're injured. I'm injured and we're standing in the hospital bathroom. Not only would Brackett have issue with us, but I don't want to take it farther right here." He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "You deserve better."

Understanding what he meant didn't lessen her disappointment. She'd kept him at arm's length for so damn long and now when she'd finally allowed her heart to dictate her decision, circumstances demanded they wait. Frustrated, she closed her eyes, she leaned her forehead against his chest. "I know."

"Hey," He curled a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to look up at him. What she found was love staring down at her. "This is just a bump in the road, sweetheart. I'm afraid you're stuck with me now."

"Good." She smile dup at him. "Because I've waited an awful long time to tell you I love you. I'd be heartbroken if you walked away now."

He cupped her face in his palms and grinned. "Never gonna happen, sweetheart. You have no idea just how long I've waited too to hear you to say those words. Nope. I'm in this for the long haul."

* * *

Hours later, Johnny lay stretched out in the recliner staring out the bay window as the late afternoon sun cast shadows through the backyard trees. His thoughts travel back over the last few days as he considered just how close he'd come to losing his life. He'd been in a lot of dangerous situations over the years, but none had brought him as close to death at that fall.

He'd only had a split second to realize what was happening before he'd slammed hard into the side of the wall and his world went black. When he'd finally come to in the ER his first thoughts hadn't been of himself, but of Gen. He'd heard her scream right before he passed out and he'd feared the worst.

He'd only settled after Brackett promised that she was very much alive and well, conveniently leaving out the part about her shoulder until they'd moved Johnny into a regular room. Only then had Roy explained everything that happened.

_She'd saved his life_.

Roy tapped him on the shoulder then held the glass of tea in front of his face. He reached for the glass. "Thanks."

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Huh?" He looked over at Roy.

Roy grinned. "I said a penny for your thoughts."

"Oh." Johnny shrugged. "I was just thinking about what happened and how close I came to buying it."

Roy nodded. "I think Chet said it best when he called the situation horrifying. I'm pretty sure Gen isn't the only one having nightmares."

"Yeah." Johnny took a drink then leaned over and set the glass on the table. "You know Roy, by all rights she shouldn't have been able to hold onto me like that, especially with a dislocated shoulder."

"I know, Junior, but by some miracle she did. Thank God."

"She's hurt because of me." It was the first time he'd said the words out loud and just the sound of them had guilt settling in his chest. "Her career might be over because of me."

"Don't go there, Junior," Roy warned. "Assuming guilt for what happened won't make the situation better. Hell, Cap feels guilty enough as it is. He thinks the accident was his fault."

Johnny looked over at his partner. "But that's ridiculous, Roy. We all assessed those pipes before we anchored to them. What happened was no more his fault than…mine," he ended the sentence in a slow whisper.

"That's right, so don't let some misplace sense of responsibility eat you up inside. It was an accident and nothing more."

Johnny nodded and for a moment said nothing as he considered everything Roy said. "You know, Roy. After you left and I was all alone, I started thinking."

"That's dangerous," Roy joked.

Johnny shot him a look. "I'm serious."

"All right, all right. I'm sorry." Roy held up a hand. "So you were thinking?"

Johnny nodded. "I got thinking about my life."

Roy arched a brow. "What's wrong with your life? You unhappy?"

"Not really unhappy, just unfulfilled I guess."

"What's missing?"

"Someone to share it with."

Roy sighed and leaned back on the couch. "Here we go."

"No." Johnny shook his head, then wished he hadn't when it began to hurt. "I'm being serious here." He went silent for a minute as he contemplated telling Roy about his encounter with Gen in the bathroom earlier that morning.

"I kissed Gen," he finally blurted and watched as Roy sat straight up and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"You mean you kissed her on the cheek," Roy qualified.

John shook his head.

Roy's eyes widened. "Then it was friendly kiss, right. Like a quick peck on the lips?"

John shook his head a second time.

Roy sighed. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Maybe," Johnny agreed.

"What possessed you to do such a thing?"

"It started because she needed help fastening her bra and well one thing led to another and before I realized it we were in each other's arms kissing." He scrubbed his hands over his face. "God, Roy. I…I couldn't help myself. She was standing there looking so vulnerable and I just didn't think."

"Johnny, she lost her father not a little over a month ago, now she's injured and facing an unknown future. Hell, she's an emotional train wreck. The last thing she needs is you mucking up her thoughts with some fly-by-night relationship.

"How I feel about her is more than just some fly-by-night relationship." John shot back.

"Just how do you feel about our partner?" Roy challenged.

Knowing he was about to put himself out there Johnny leveled a look at Roy and took a deep breath. "I'm in love with her."

Roy leaned back in his chair and a grin slid across his face.

Confused, Johnny frowned. "Just what are you smiling at?"

"You," Roy replied.

"Me?" Johnny pointed a finger at himself. "What did I say that you found so amusing?"

"That you're in love with Genevieve."

"You think that's funny?"

"No, actually I don't."

"Then why are you smiling?"

"Because it's about damn time!" Roy shot back. "Geez, Johnny, it took you two long enough."


	16. Chapter 16

Some new and some old here.

* * *

Gen eased back against the pillows and took a moment to observe the room that would be her new home for the foreseeable future. White lace curtains outlined two windows overlooking the back yard. Against the same wall as the door stood a large bureau and hutch with a mirror. Thankfully the mirror reflected the view of the windows and not the bed. The last thing she wanted was to have to stare at herself every day for weeks on end.

Movement in the doorway caught her eye and she turned her attention fully to find Captain Stanley staring back at her, a tentative smile on his face. "Can I come in?"

She grinned. "Of course. It is your house after all."

"True," he replied as he crossed the bed and eased onto the mattress. "Did Emily get you all settled in?"

Gen nodded. "She went with me to my apartment and helped me pack, then she unpacked everything here and put it away."

"Good. If you need to know where we keep anything, just ask." Cap replied.

"Thanks. I will."

He sighed. "Listen, hon, I wanted to talk to you about something. That is if you're up for having a conversation."

Curious, she arched a brow. His tone sounded just serious enough for her to be worried. "Shoot, Cap. I'm all ears."

"Well, I'd just like the chance to explain myself."

Well that certainly wasn't what she expected him to say. "About what?"

"Having you come here and we'll, everything over the last few days." He sighed again. "I've been feeling really guilty and I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" She cocked her head to the side. "I mean what could you possibly have to feel guilty about?"

He smirked. "Plenty."

"Like what?"

"Like threatening to transfer you, for starters."

She reached out with her good hand and covered his. "Cap. You were doing what you thought was best for the team. I might not have been happy about it, but I understood. After all, it wasn't as if you didn't give enough warnings."

"Still." He shrugged. "I keep thinking that there had to be another way. I guess it doesn't really matter now, huh?'

"I suppose not," Gen shook her head. "Since we don't know if I'll ever be able to return to work, the point is kinda moot."

"You're right," Cap replied. "Of course, that leads me to another reason to be guilty."

"Cap." She squeezed his hand. "Don't you dare blame yourself for the accident."

For a moment, he stared at their hands before he finally lifted his gaze to meet hers. "I'm in charge. That makes it my fault."

Gen rolled her eyes. "I hate to tell you this, but being in charge does not automatically mean everything is your fault. After all, we all looked at those pipes."

"Yes, but…"

She shook her head. "No but's, Cap. It's foolish and pointless to feel guilty over something that truly was an accident. The important fact is that Johnny and I are both still alive and kicking."

Cap pursed his lips and after a moment nodded. "You're right, but that doesn't changed the fact that I wanted you here so I could kinda make up for everything."

"Thank you for having me," Gen said. "But you don't have anything to make up for."

Again, he remained silent and Gen wondered if she'd managed to make her point, or if was going to throw yet another reason for his guilt, at her. Instead, he nodded. "Okay. I'll do my best to let the guilt go, but I do need to ask you something and I need the truth."

The seriousness of his tone suddenly made her nervous again. "Okay," she replied, drawing out the word.

"The morning after the accident, we found you curled up with Johnny in his hospital bed."

Heat flooded her face as she realized they'd been seen by more than just Doctor Early. "Cap-"

He held up a hand, stopping her. "I don't need to know why. I'm just glad you two made up. Though what I do need to know is if the body language I read that morning is accurate."

"What do you think you saw?" Gen asked, her nervousness ratcheting up another notch. What if Cap wanted to transfer her because she was now involved with Johnny? What if he reported it to headquarters?

"Two people very much in love."

For a moment she could only stare at him as her mind struggled to form a reply. In the end she decided that in this circumstance honesty was the best policy. After all, for all she knew she might never step foot in the station to work ever again. While that thought brought her sadness, knowing Johnny loved her seemed to make up for it just a little. "I'd say your assessment is accurate."

"So you and John…" he let his sentence trail off as he suddenly appeared to be uncomfortable.

"If you're asking as to the status of our relationship, we have kissed and we've shared the 'L" word." She replied. "And if that means you'll still need to transfer me, so be it."

For the first time since he walked through the door, Cap gave her a full on smile. "There is no written policy pertaining to your situation. So there is no way I'm sending you or Johnny anywhere else, unless I absolutely need to. I'm just glad you and John finally admitted your true feelings for each other."

* * *

Six days after the accident Johnny walked along the side of the Stanley home, following the sounds of music and conversation. Cap had insisted on the cookout, stating that after what they'd been through they needed to spend some fun time together. Not that he had issue with the idea. After all, it meant being able to spend more time with Gen.

Chris and Jenny skirted around him whooping and hollering as they reached the gate. "Daddy, are we really going to be able to go swimming?" Hope filled Jenny's voice as she looked past Johnny to where Roy and Joanne followed.

Roy nodded. "Cap said to bring bathing suites so I'm guessing so."

Johnny pulled open the gate and paused to look out over the crowd already there. Marco and Chet, who was once again single, were already splashing in the above ground pool with Cap's two girls. Mike stood talking with Cap near the charcoal grill while Alyssa stood a few feet away conversing with Emily Stanley and much to Johnny's surprise, Doctor Brackett and Dixie were there sharing a drink on the patio.

He held the door for Roy and Joanne then followed them inside.

"Hey, glad to see you guys made it," Hank greeted them. "Roy, you'll find the beer in the refrigerator in the garage. Johnny, since I know you can't drink there are sodas in the cooler over by the pool."

"Thanks, Cap." Johnny turned to head toward the pool then stopped as he realized Gen was nowhere to be seen. "Uh, Cap. Where's Genevieve?"

Hank's gaze drifted up and settled on the only open second story window. "She's sleeping. I hope."

"What do you mean you hope?" Roy asked.

Cap shook his head. "Ever since Doctor Brackett released her, she's been having a horrible time sleeping. Last night was brutal. Of course after what we witnessed in the hospital, I had a feeling she was going to have nightmares. Hell I had a nightmare from just _watching_ you two."

Johnny's gaze drifted upward and studied the partially open window. "Has she slept at all since she came home?"

Cap frowned. "Some, but every time she'd start to doze off, within twenty minutes she wakes up shaking and gasping. I tried to talk her into taking some of those pain meds Doctor Brackett prescribed, but she refused. Instead she's been taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen and I just don't think it's enough to control her pain."

Roy turned his gaze on the window. "Along with controlling her pain the prescription meds Brackett prescribed cause drowsiness."

"So?" Cap's brow knit in confusion. "She needs to sleep."

"Yes," Johnny began. "You're right, she does. Only the meds Brackett prescribed also have the ability to pull you under and hold you there. For a normal person this isn't a problem, since sleeping is generally a good thing, but with her tendency for nightmares…" He let his sentence trail off as he stared at the window. All he wanted to do was head up to her room and hold her while she slept. Maybe that way he could prevent her from having any nightmares.

Roy picked up where John left off. "She'd probably refusing to take the medication because she doesn't want to get trapped inside a nightmare. I'm sure in her mind that's worse than just dealing with the pain."

John tore his gaze away from the window and nodded. "You see, Cap. The problem lies in the fact that the deeper a person sleeps the more real the dream seems. If she's knocked out and having a nightmare it's going to seem horrifyingly real because it's going to be harder for her to pull herself out of the dream due to the drugs."

Cap's frown deepened. "I wish I would have known all this before."

John's gaze jerked away from the window and back to Hank. "Before what?"

"Before I asked Emily to crush up one of Gen's pills and hide it in her drink."

"Oh, Cap you didn't?"

Cap shrugged. "Well, I didn't know. I just figured she was being stubborn like you, Gage. She's exhausted and I was just trying to help."

Roy put a hand on Cap's shoulder. "It's okay, Cap. You had no way of knowing. Maybe everything will be all right and she'll wake up just fine."

"And if she doesn't?" Hank asked, looking from Johnny to Roy.

"If that happens we're all here to help her."

Johnny cast one last glance toward the window before walking over to the cooler. All they could do was wait and see, so for now it was going to try and have a good time without worrying. "Hey, Gage, did you bring your swim trunks?" Chet yelled from inside the pool."

"Not today."

"Awe, why not? We could get a great volleyball game going. "

"Are you an idiot, Chet?" John asked, then shook his head and mumbled. "Stupid question. Of course you're an idiot." He lifted his hair to reveal the bandage beneath. "I can't get in the pool with this."

Chet frowned and shook his head. "I forgot about your stitches. Sorry about that." No sooner had Chet finished his sentence then a blood curdling scream came from the open window.

John dropped the lid on the cooler and took off at a run for the house. By the time he made it inside and up the stairs, Cap was already in the room with Gen. She clung to him, her face a mask of grief as she cried in giant body wracking sobs.

Johnny stepped just inside the doorway where Dixie stood watching.

"I couldn't hold him," Gen cried against Hank's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Cap. I tried. I really did, but he, he… Oh God, he can't be…d..." The heartbreak in her voice tore at John and he took a step forward only to feel Dixie's hand on his arm. He looked back to see her shaking her head.

"She needs me," he whispered.

"I know she does." Dixie gave him an understanding smile. "But not just yet."

Hank held Gen tight against him, rocking her. "Shhh, honey it's okay. Johnny's alive. It was just a bad dream."

"But…" she whimpered. "But I saw him."

"You were dreaming, sweetheart."

"A…a dream?" she murmured against him as her tears slowed.

"Yes, Genevieve." Cap pulled her to arm's length and cupped her face his palms. "Now, look at me."

She blinked several times before her attention seemed to final settle on him and awareness lit in her eyes. "Cap?"

He smiled. "That's a girl. You with me now?"

"I-I think so." She lifted a shaky hand to her head. "It was so real….I thought." Her gaze drifted from Cap to where Johnny stood and held there. The intensity in her stare caused his heart to skip a beat. "Johnny?" she whispered.

Hank slid from the bed and Dixie let go of John's arm. Slowly he walked over to the bed and took the seat Cap had vacated. "You're okay." He reached out and brushed a knuckle across her cheek. "You're okay, baby."

She turned into his touch and grasped his hand with hers. "I am now."

* * *

It was late in the afternoon as Gen snuggled against Johnny on the loveseat in the Stanley's sun room and dozed.

"Johnny, how's she doing now?" Doctor Brackett eased down into the empty seat across from them.

John gave him a small smile. "Better, but, Doc, there's no way she's going to take any more of those pain meds. She can't go through that terror every time she tries to sleep."

Brackett nodded. "I agree. After witnessing what I did earlier I already called in a new prescription for her." He stared at Gen for a minute and sighed. "I'm afraid that isn't going to be enough."

Johnny felt his brow knit as he stared at Brackett. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she's going to need some professional therapy for her to get through this."

"You mean a psychiatrist?" Johnny frowned. Just the idea of a therapist had his stomach rolling. After his parents died, the doctors and counselors had mandated he talk to a therapist to 'help' with his grief. Only, how can one possible help a ten year old to understand and process his grief? All they'd succeeded in doing was to perpetuate his pain and make him wary of relationships and resentful of therapists.

"Now don't make that face, John. She's suffered a huge amount of trauma over the last two months. No matter how much support you guy can give her, it would still be good for her to talk with a professional." He leaned back in the chair and smile. "By the way, Dixie said they found you and Gen curled up in the hospital bed together the morning after the accident."

Heat flooded John's face and he cleared his throat. "Well, yeah. She came into my room upset and well…I just wanted to reassure her that everything was going to be okay. Nothing happened in that bed, Doc. We just slept."

Brackett held up a hand to stop Johnny's rambling. "Relax, Johnny. I believe you. Besides, what I think doesn't really matter anyway. How you feel about each other is what's important."

John glanced down at her as she slept. He'd give everything he had to protect her, to take way her pain. "I love her, Doc and I'd do anything for her."

Brackett nodded. "Then you need to do what's right for her. I know you don't agree about the therapy, but she's going to need at least a little professional help. Be there for her, John. Support her and don't judge her, okay?"

Johnny turned is gaze back to Gen. Never in his life had he ever felt this way about another person. He loved her with every fiber of his being and he wanted her healthy both physically and emotionally. Otherwise, the fragile relationship they were building would never stand a chance. After all, as far as he was concerned, he was in this for the long haul.


	17. Chapter 17

Her shoulder hurt like hell. While they waited for the orthopedic surgeon to return, Gen lay on the exam table and tried to ignore the pain by talking with Emily Stanley.

"Are you nervous?" Emily asked.

"Some." Actually she was terrified of what Doctor Foster had to say. Ever since the accident she'd been hearing talk that her career might be over. Though no one had actually said those words to her directly. What in the world would she do with herself if she couldn't go back to 51?

"How did you sleep last night?" Emily's question pulled Gen from her thoughts. "I didn't hear anything from your room, so I assumed everything was all right."

"I still woke up a few times, but Doctor Brackett changing my pain meds helped a lot. I was able to pull myself out of the nightmare before it spiraled out of control."

Emily shook her head. "I can't even being to imagine what you felt when you were hanging off the side of that building. It must have just been terrifying for you."

Gen shot her a small smile. "I really don't think there are words."

"You love him don't you?"

Gen paused a moment as she struggled to find the right words to express just how much she did love Johnny. For years she'd denied her true feelings and for what? Her career? A non-existent departmental rule? Fear of how it would look to others? In the end, all were lame reasons for keeping him at arms-length and her true feelings locked away. Well no more. If nothing else, he was the one steady and reliable part of her life and she damn well wasn't going to screw that up again. Gen opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again as the door swung open and Doctor Foster entered. "Well, Genevieve, I have good news and bad news."

Her stomach lurched with his words. "I hate it when Doctors say that."

He chuckled. "Well, I give you the bad news first." He picked up her chart and flipped it open. "All of our tests indicate that you've suffered a Bankart Lesion. Do you know what that is?"

Gen nodded. "It's damage to the cartilage."

"Right. Fortunately, after conferring with my colleagues we don't believe that there is any other serious damage beyond muscle strain, which is the good news. It will make the recovery process a lot easier. Now there are two ways we can treat a Bankart Lesion." He looked from Gen to Emily and back.

"Normally we take into account the person's age, health and level of activity when making a decision. Now with someone like you we'd probably just leave well enough alone and see what happens." He closed the chart and leveled a look at her that had bile creeping up her throat. Whatever he was about to say, Gen was sure she wasn't going to like what she heard.

"However," he continued. "Considering your profession, the only logical action to take is surgery."

Gen closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. That was the last thing she'd wanted to hear. "What would happen if I chose to wait it out and see instead?"

Doctor Foster slid his pen into his jacket pocket. "It would probably heal fine, if you planed on changing careers, because there's no way any doctor worth his salt would certify you for work without the surgery."

_Man, my life just keeps getting better and better._ She indulged in a brief moment of self-pity before her thoughts slowly turned to Johnny and the reasons why she was here in the first place. Suddenly facing surgery seemed like a small price to pay for him still being alive. She dropped her head back to the pillow and sighed. "How soon, Doc?"

"Well, obviously the sooner the better. However, my schedule is booked the rest of this week and into early next week. So the soonest we could get to it would be next Wednesday."

She wanted every opportunity to return to work, which meant doing everything she could to heal. "I'll be here."

* * *

Later that afternoon she was propped up in bed reading when a knock had her looking up to find Johnny standing in the doorway. "Mind if I come in?"

She grinned. "You're always welcome."

"Good to know."

"Did you sweet talk Joanne into driving you over here?"

He shot her a lopsided smile. "I didn't have to. Mrs. Stanley called. She said she thought you might like some company." He eased down next to her, his smile fading. "She told me about the surgery."

Gen's grin disappeared. "Yeah, well. Doctor Foster says it has to be done if I have any hope of returning to duty."

He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm really sorry, honey."

She looked up at him, eyes wide. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You're hurt because of me."

"Because I caught you." She reached for him with her good hand and suddenly feeling the need to be closer, pulled him toward her. She brushed her lips against his. "And I'd do it all over again in heartbeat."

Slowly his mouth covered hers. He tasted like mint and man and she closed her eyes as she sank into the kiss. Need bloomed in her and she fought to tamp it down. _Not now. Not yet._

When he finally pulled back, a hint of his infamous grin tipped his lips. "All these years, I've been missing that."

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she stroked the hair around his temple. "I hate that it took nearly losing you for me to come to my senses, but I'm glad I finally did."

"Tell me again," he whispered as he took her hand in his, stroked a thumb over her palm.

Her heart swelled as she stared at him. Nobody understood her the way he did. "I love you, John Gage. I love you with all my heart."

His grin widened as he pulled her hand toward his mouth and placed a gentle kiss in her palm. "Music to my ears."

She shifted, trying to get closer to him and winced at the pain that sliced through her shoulder.

Instantly, his smile slid into a frown. "You're in pain."

"It's nothing." She shook her head. "For a moment I forgot and I moved wrong. It's already easing."

"Still," he sighed. "It's tough for me to see you suffer like this."

"Do you honestly think I would have suffered less if you weren't here now?" She leaned forward and brushed another kiss across his lips. "It's a small price to pay for having you with me."

His hand slid behind her head and cradled her neck and smiled down at her. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are?"

She grinned. "Why don't you tell me?"

* * *

_It was amazing how quickly a week could pass._ Wracked with nerves and a hint of fear, Gen allowed Dixie to help her change into the hospital gown. _More freaking hospitals! _ God, she hated them with a passion. Doctor Foster assured her that the procedure was simple and with any luck she'd only have to say over night. Which meant she could be back to the Stanley's by tomorrow.

All week she'd been preparing herself for today, reading what she could on the process and telling herself it wouldn't be a big deal. None of it helped to ease the fear. While she'd spent plenty of time in the hospital she'd never needed surgery before and her nerves were slowly getting the best of her.

She eased into the hospital bed all the while wishing Johnny was there. He'd hold her hand and tell her it would all be okay and she'd draw strength from his support. Strength she was sorely missing at the moment.

Unfortunately Brackett had released him for duty earlier in the week and yesterday had been his first shift back to work. She glanced at the clock hanging over the door. It was nearly seven in the morning which mean Johnny and the guys were just about to wrap up shift. Her surgery was scheduled for nine so with any luck she'd see him before they put her under.

Her hand shook as she reached for the blanket catching Dixie's attention. She placed her hand over Gen's and smiled. "Nervous, huh?"

Gen sucked in a breath and nodded. "A little. I hate being the patient."

"Understandable." Dixie patted her hand. "But this surgery is routine. Doctor Foster has done it a thousand times."

Gen let out a sigh. "Well he might be an old pro, but this is my first time."

Dixie leaned in and gave her a hug. "Try and relax. It will be fine and I'm sure the guys will be here as soon as they can."

Gen's gaze drifted to the clock a second time. She hoped so because right now she'd give anything to see her guys.

As the time passed she tried to busy herself with magazines, but couldn't focus on the articles. Then she closed her eyes and tried to practice her breathing techniques hoping it would help settle her nerves. Resolved to the fact that she wasn't going to relax any time soon she stared at the ceiling and began counting the dots on the tiles.

It wasn't long before a nurse arrived to start her IV. Time ticked on and her nervousness heightened with each passing minute. At eight thirty Dixie appeared with the orderlies that would take her down to surgery.

"Dixie, are the guys here yet?"

Dix shook her head. "Captain Stanley called a few minutes ago. They were tapped out on a big fire this morning and went over shift. They just got back in and are getting cleaned up."

"Oh." Gen blinked several times and finally just closed her eyes. She was on her own this time, so she might as well suck it up.

"Now don't do that." Dixie grabbed a tissue and slipped it into her hand. "Look at it like this. They'll be here when you wake up. So that gives you something to look forward to, right?"

Gen gave her a small smile as the orderlies gently moved her from the bed to the gurney. "I suppose."

Dixie gave her one last pat on the hand. "Just remember, this will be over shortly and then you'll be on your way to recovery. Now I have to go, but you're in good hands so no worries okay?"

Gen managed a small nod right before they wheeled her into the operating room. They switched her to the table and then the anesthesiologist was talking to her. The last thing she remembered was counting backward from one hundred.

* * *

Johnny slammed the door on his rover and rushed toward the emergency entrance. Thanks to a fully involved house fire they'd gone over shift by an hour and a half. After showering to get rid of the grime and soot and dressing faster than he thought possible he'd skipped out on the rest of the guys and headed for the hospital. Even at that it was already nine thirty.

He reached the nurse's station where he found Dixie working her way through a mountain of paperwork. "Dix?"

She looked up and gave him a small smile. "They took her into surgery about an hour ago."

John banged his fist on the counter. "Damn it. Fine time to go over shift."

"It's going to be fine, Johnny."

"Yeah, I know, but I also know that she was really nervous about the surgery. I wanted to be here for her before she went in."

"Well, I was with her," Dixie informed him, "and she did just fine."

"Really?" John arched a brow.

"Well, she was a bit nervous, but that was to be expected."

"Still, I wanted to be the one there for her."

Dixie stood, took him by the arm and guided him toward the elevator. "Well, I think she'll appreciate it more to see you there when she wakes up. Emily Stanley is in the third floor surgical department waiting room. Why don't you go on up and keep her company until the others get here?"

John nodded. "Yeah, all right." He'd be much happier when the surgery was over.


	18. Chapter 18

We're just about there. Only a few more chapters of this section left. Here's a little supernatural/spiritual touch for you.

* * *

Wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top, Genevieve stood barefoot in the field of flowers. Her hair, normally pulled into a ponytail, instead fell in curls across her shoulders. Using her hand to shade her eyes from the bright light and squinted as she took in her surroundings. _Where am I?_

"Baby girl!"

At the sound of her father's voice Gen spun to find her mother and father standing a few feet away, behind them stood…was that her birth parents? Confusion wracked her brain as she looked from one to the other before breaking into a big grin. She reached for them all and enjoyed the warmth of being embraced by all those who loved her. She relished the moment for as long as she could before her father pushed her to arm's length and she shifted her attention from one to the other.

"What are you all doing here? What am I doing here? For that matter where exactly _is_ here?"

"Here is someplace that you are not supposed to be," her birth mother Tatyana replied.

For a moment Gen could only stared at her. How was it she could speak English, when the few memories Gen experience were only filled with Russian?

"Though, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't good to see you, Genevieve," her adopted mother Olivia cooed as she took her turn giving Gen a hug.

Gen wrapped her arms around each of her mothers and held tight. "I've missed you both so much." Then realization hit. How could she be hugging all her parents when they were dead? Slowly she pulled back and looked from one to the other again? "Wait! What's going on? You're all…"

"Dead?" Tony finished her sentence and then nodded. "That's right, we are."

"Then how can I be talking to you, hugging you if?" Her eyes widened in horror. "I'm not?"

"Dead too?" Her birth father Alexey replied. "Technically, yes, but like Tony said, you don't belong here."

Olivia took her hand and gave her a sad smile. "As much as we love being able to see you, you need to go back before it's too late."

"Back?" Confused, Gen looked from her Oliva to Tony. "Back where?"

"Back to your body, honey," Tatyana patted her shoulder. "It's not your time yet."

"So why am I here now?"

Alexey smiled. "Maybe you just needed to see us."

Tatyana stepped next to Alexey. "We're so sorry we left you, Zenavieva. We didn't want to, but it wasn't our choice."

Alexey pulled Gen to him and kissed her on the temple. "We love you so much and I know you've felt the sting of our loss, but I want you to remember something. You're not alone, _ZajchOnok_. We've been with you and we'll always be with you."

"_ZajchOnok_?" Gen repeated as the word sparked a long dormant memory. She silently mouthed the word again as awareness lit. "_Little bunny_. That was your nickname for me. You used to call me little bunny."

Alexey's smile widened. "Because you were my little bunny. Always shy, always a bit timid and scared and cute as a baby bunny." He sighed as he pushed her to arm's length and stared. "You've grown into such a beautiful woman _ZajchOnok_. I'm so thankful to Antonio and Olivia for taking you in and raising you. They've done a wonderful job."

"But you're not done living Genevieve." Tony said from behind her. "You're not done making a difference in people's lives."

She glanced over her shoulder at him. "I hate the idea of leaving you again," she said.

He nodded. "I understand. Believe me, we all understand and I think I speak for all of us when I say we'd love nothing more than to keep you here with us, but it's just not in the cards."

"Besides," Olivia began. "I happen to know there's a very handsome young paramedic who is patiently waiting on you to get your head on straight."

Gen grinned. "How do you know about Johnny?"

"Oh, I know all kinds of things. Like that you need to stop worrying quite so much about the past and focus on your future."

Tatyana stepped up next to Olivia. "Don't be afraid to live life, Gen. It's going to be a bright one if you'll let it."

Gen's smile widened. "A bright future, huh? So my life will get better, because I have to admit, it's been pretty rough lately."

"Everybody goes through their ups and downs, baby girl." Tony placed his hand on what should have been her injured shoulder. "What's important is how you handle the curve balls that life throws you."

Gen's smile faded. "I haven't done such a good job lately of handling my emotions. I nearly lost Johnny and it was so close on the heels of losing you. It's been tough keeping the negative thoughts away."

He nodded. "I understand. I didn't mean to leave you the way I did."

"Neither did we," Alexey slid an arm around Tatyana's waist, pulling her against him. "But things happen."

"Plus, your father and I are finally together again," Olivia cast a loving look toward Tony.

"I'm glad to see you together," Gen looked from her adopted parents to her birth parents and back. "All of you. Still, it's been hard to know all of my family is gone. For a long time I didn't know who I really was. Didn't have any link to me heritage." She turned to Tony, "And I didn't want to upset you by asking about my Russian heritage. I didn't want you to think I was ungrateful for what you'd given me. Still I'm Russian, not Italian and never really felt like I completely belonged."

Tony pursed his lips as a look of sadness claimed his face. "Part of that is my fault, or more correctly, my family's fault and for that I'm sorry. Still, I wish you would have asked," he replied. "I would have told you everything I knew."

She shook her head. "It doesn't really matter now. None of it does. I'm an adult and while I might be all alone, at least I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"You are not alone, baby girl." Tony took her by the hands. "Nowhere is there a law written that states family must be related by blood. If that were the case, then we wouldn't be your parents, right?"

Gen nodded slowly as she stared at everyone who'd been such an important part of her life. He was right and it was time she accepted his words as truth.

"You still have a family, Zenavieva." Tatyana said. "You have a very large family filled with people who love you very much."

"And one young paramedic that loves you just a little more than the others," Olivia added. The smile now returned to her face.

"Right," Tony agreed. "I meant what I said about not letting your career consume you, honey. Don't become so absorbed in work that you miss the opportunity to live and love." He turned her away from him and she noticed the light in the distance as they all began to walk in the same direction.

"Life is going to be filled with rough waters, _ZajchOnok_," Alexey said. "Some of those challenges will be harder than others. Accept the love your new family is offering and lean on them when you need help navigating those waters. You'll find life more enjoyable if you do."

They were so close now that the light nearly blinded her as she looked from Tony to Olivia, then on to Tatyana and Alexey. "Thank you all for giving me such a wonderful childhood and for being such wonderful parents. I'm sorry I've been so messed up in the head and I promise not to let my past dictate my future." She sighed. "But, I _am_ going to miss you all so much."

They took turns giving her one last hug. "Oh don't worry, sweetheart, we'll be around from time to time." Olivia pulled back and winked at Gen. "After all, it's the only way we'll get a good look at our Grandbabies you know?"

Gen grinned at Oliva's not so subtle hint. "I love you, mom."

"I love you too."

"Ya vas lyublyu, ZachOnok," Alexey said and Tatyana wiped at the tears in her eyes.

_I love you too!_ "Ya vas lyublyu," Gen replied without even thinking. _Wow! Where had that come from?_ She hadn't uttered a word of Russian since the night Tony rescued her from the fire.

"It's time, baby girl." Tony motioned to the slowly dimming light. "You have to go now."

Gen nodded and quickly hugged her dad one last time. "I love you, dad and thanks." She turned and stepped into the light as her father's words slowly faded behind her. "You're welcome, princess and when the time comes, tell John he has my blessing."

* * *

Johnny looked up at the clock on the wall then resumed pacing the tiny room now filled with is co-workers. "I don't like this." He shook his head. "Doctor Foster told her the procedure would take about two and a half hours. Dixie said she went in at eight thirty. Two and a half hours makes it eleven o'clock, not twelve thirty."

"Would you try and relax," Roy urged. "I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation why it's taking longer than expected."

John continued to pace. "Even so, why hasn't anyone come out to update us?" No sooner had he finished his sentence when Dr. Brackett entered the room. The solemn look on his face caused Johnny's heart to stop. _Dear God no!_ "No." He froze in place. "She's not?"

Brackett held up a hand. "No, it's not that."

"Then what? Because the look on your face says something is wrong."

Brackett sighed and motioned to the empty chairs. "When I realized I hadn't heard from Doctor Foster I went to see what was going on." He leaned forward and looked from one person to the other, his attention finally settling on John. "There's been a complication."

Those four words echoed in Johnny's ears for a moment before he managed to find his voice. "What kind of complication?"

"Genevieve has experienced an allergic reaction to the anesthesia."

"How severe a reaction?" Johnny dared to ask.

"Severe." Brackett replied. "Anaphylaxis, tachycardia and near cardiovascular collapse." He shook his head. "It was bad. They nearly lost her."

Johnny closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as he worked to steady his nerves. "Doctor Foster said this was a routine operation."

Brackett nodded. "Normally it is."

"Then what happened this time?" Roy asked, the concern in his voice matching the look on his face.

"There's no way to know for sure," Brackett replied. Except that she's highly allergic to something in the anesthesia they used."

He paused in an apparent attempt to allow them all time to digest what he said before he began again. "Thankfully, Doctor Foster's team moved quickly. The moment they realized what was happening, they began corrective measures."

For a moment Johnny simply sat stock still staring at Doctor Brackett. He couldn't have possibly heard him correctly. Finally finding his words, he spoke. "Doc, how bad is she?"

"Right now her situation is critical. She's in intensive care and being watched closely for additional side effects or in case she arrests again. If the medication they're giving her to reverse the condition continues to work, then chances are she'll be fine."

_Arrests again!_ John's brain snagged onto those two little words and held there. "Whoa, Doc." He held up a hand. "What do you mean arrests again?" Just how close had he come to losing her?

Brackett's gaze caught Johnny's and held it for a moment before he cut away to look at the others. "From what I know, she went into v-tach. They defibrillated twice and got her back." His attention returned to Johnny who now felt as if he just might pass out. "She was gone for less than two minutes, Johnny and the entire time they were doing CPR."

"Doc, w-what about brain damage?" He almost couldn't say the words. They'd been through the whole brain damage scare back when she'd suffered those chemical burns and had gotten lucky. Still, how many times could a person's brain be stripped of oxygen without permanent consequences?

Brackett frowned. "You know as well as I that brain damage is always a possibility in a situation like that. We'll have to wait until she comes out of sedation to find out."

"When with that be?" Roy asked his voice now filled with emotion.

"Well, she'll stay intubated for the next twenty-four hours while they give her body ample time to recover. If all goes well they'll bring her out of sedation sometime tomorrow."

The lump in John's throat was now threatening to cut off his oxygen supply. If she hadn't caught him, she wouldn't have been injured and wouldn't have needed this damn surgery in the first place. "And if all doesn't go well?"

Brackett turned his head and looked Johnny straight in the eye. "We're not going to think about that."


	19. Chapter 19

Emotionally and physically exhausted, Johnny lowered the bedrail and placed an arm on the mattress, then leaned forward to rest his head next to where he held Gen's hand. From the moment they'd allowed him into ICU he'd planted himself in the chair next to her bed and hadn't moved. Six hours later his back hurt and his head pounded from an accumulation of the day's stress, but he didn't really care. Nothing mattered except that Gen hadn't suffered any further problems. He claimed each uneventful hour that passed as a tiny victory in her bid for recovery, it wasn't much, but right now he'd take whatever he could get.

At this point he should have been working to keep her mind off the post-surgery the pain, joking with her about his first shift back, and encouraging her to try and eat some dinner. Instead, he sat in silence most of the day, watching the heart monitor for the slightest change in rhythm and listening to the ventilator breathe for her while her body fought through this latest setback.

He stared blankly at her before eventually letting his eyes drift shut as he thought back on their time together. It had been nearly three years since she'd walked through the door at Station 51 and directly into his heart. She'd shaken off his initial advances without frustration or anger. Instead she'd appeared to find his pick-up lines humorous and maybe even a bit flattering.

Then they'd been tapped out on a structure fire, where she'd proven herself in a big way by saving Roy's life. She's acted as if what she'd done was nothing, but to John it had meant everything. She'd save his best friend's life. Somehow after that initial shift she just seemed to be part of the crew. It was as if she'd always been there.

How she'd managed to carve such a big niche in his heart in such a short time, he'd never know. What he did know was now that she was there, he didn't want to try and imagine his life without her. It was new and somewhat confusing to have such strong feelings for another, especially considering his past.

He'd experienced so much heartache and trauma early in his life that he'd long ago erected an invisible wall. Over the years he'd used that wall to protect his heart from additional pain. Yet, somehow, she'd managed to sneak past his defenses and penetrate that wall when others had failed. Now he found himself back in that familiar place where heartache and pain thrived and finding the strength to keep hope alive was difficult. "Don't you leave me," he whispered, the words were thick on his tongue and nearly choked his throat as he spoke. "I need you, Genevieve. I need you so much."

As a paramedic many times his job included providing emotional support to the victim's loved ones. More than once he'd offered words of encouragement, telling relatives not to give up hope even when the odds weren't in their favor.

_Platitudes. _ In the end it was all empty platitudes and false assurances. Life was dangerous and unpredictable and allowing anyone to get too close would only bring sorrow when disaster happened. Yet that was exactly what he'd done. One wrong step and everything they were building could be over in a flash. He'd never been willing to risk such emotional devastation…until now.

He was almost asleep when a gentle tap on his shoulder pulled his attention. He turned to see Gen's ICU nurse, Kelly, staring down at him a look of remorse on her face. "Johnny…"

He knew what she hadn't said. _Damn!_ John looked from Kelly to Gen and back. "Is there any way I can talk you into letting me stay?"

Kelly shook her head. "I'm sorry, but you know the rules."

"Yeah, I do, but I'm more than capable of watching her. If I stayed then it would free you and the other nurses up to tend to the rest of the patients."

Kelly placed a hand on his arm. "I know you're worried about her, but you won't do her any good if you make yourself sick. Go home, get some sleep and come back tomorrow. If her status changes in the slightest I'll call you, I promise."

Knowing he wasn't going to win this argument John sighed. "You promise to call?"

She gave him a sad smiled. "I promise and for the record, it's refreshing to see you in love. I just wish it were under better circumstances."

"Me too," he replied. "Me too." He kissed the back of Gen's hand and got up to leave. "I'll be back first thing in the morning."

"She'll be here," Kelly promised.

Johnny dragged his tired body out of her room and barely suppressed a shudder at the sight of the crash cart parked outside her door. It was a good precaution, but one that left him with an eerie reminder of what might happen while he was gone. He was half way down the hall when he passed the now empty waiting room and noted the leather couch under the windows. Even if he did go home would he really be able to sleep any better there than could here? He glanced back at Gen's door then walked into the dark waiting room and curled up on the couch.

The low murmur of voices threatened to wake John from his slumber. Not wanting to wake up quite yet, he rolled over and pulled the blanket over his head. _Wait…a blanket?_ He frowned, then tentatively opened one eye to find himself staring at the back of the couch. _Definitely not my couch. _Johnny opened the other eye and for a moment remained motionless as his still sleepy brain kicked into gear.

The voices started again, slightly louder this time. He recognized the tenor of Cap's voice and the calmness of Mike Stoker. Roy was here too. What were they all doing here so early in the morning?

He rolled over and was surprised to see his entire crew there. Did something happen to Gen? Why didn't anyone wake him? He threw off the blanket and sprang to his feet. "What are you guys doing here so early? Has something happened to Gen?"

Roy arched a brow as his gaze shifted from Johnny to the clock on the wall. "Early? Johnny it's nine in the morning."

Not quite able to believe what he was hearing John cast an eye toward the clock on the wall and was shocked to see he'd slept for the better part of twelve hours. He scrubbed a hand along the back of his neck. "Wow, I guess I was more tired than I thought."

Roy nodded. "One of the nurses said that Kelly found you curled up in here after she'd kicked you out of Gen's room for the night. She didn't have the heart to boot you out of here too. So she brought you a blanket and told the other nurses to let you sleep unless something happened with Gen."

John's eyes widened with that news. "Since nobody woke me, I guess that means everything is okay with Gen?"

"Better than okay," Roy grinned. "Doctor Foster was just in before you woke. He said this morning's blood work looks good. Since Gen's body is starting to fight the ventilator, and everything else looks good he's decided to take her off it now instead of waiting. Then they'll slowly wean her out of sedation. With any luck she should be awake in a few hours."

In the time of a heartbeat John felt as of the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He sank back to the couch before a small smile spread across his face. Genevieve, _his_ Genevieve was going to make it after all.

Later that morning Johnny sat next to Gen's bed, talking with Cap and Roy. Since the ICU nurses would only bend the visitors rule by one person, Mike, Chet and Marco were down in the cafeteria eating lunch while they waited their turn to sit with Gen.

"When was the last time you ate?" Roy asked.

At Roy's question John's stomach growled and he had to stop and think. "Um, Gen's ICU nurse Kelly brought me half a ham sandwich and an apple last night around six. I can't remember before that."

Roy's eyes widened. "That's it? Johnny, why don't you go down stairs with Mike and the guys and grab something to eat? We'll stay with Gen. Right, Cap?"

Hank nodded. "Sure thing. Plus, it's not like you can afford to miss too many meals there pal. It's a constant battle to keep you within weight requirements as is. No need to make that job harder by missing meals."

John shook his head. "I'll eat once I know Gen's awake and okay."

Hank frowned. "John, if she starts to wake up one of us will come get you."

"No, Cap. I promise I'll eat, but after she wakes up."

"I'm awake," Gen's sleepy voice cut in. "How could anyone _possibly_ sleep with this racket?"

Johnny jumped to his feet and looked over to see to her gorgeous green eyes staring up at him. "Hey, beautiful. Welcome back."

"Thanks," She swallowed hard and grimaced.

John's smile faded as he studied her. "Throat sore?"

"A little. My shoulder hurts like hell and my chest is sore." She lifted her good hand and rubbed at her chest. He'd have to explain to her about the complications during surgery and the subsequent CPR that left her chest sore, but not yet. For now he was going to let her ease back into the world.

"I'll get the nurse," Roy said before darting out of the room.

John nodded then leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Just hang in there and we'll get you some pain meds."

Her lips tipped into a small smile. "Good. Then you'll do what Cap said and go get something to eat."

John's grin returned as he realized that not only had she woke on her own without any complications and apparently no brain damage. _Thank God!_ She'd also woke with that spirit he loved so much. "And if I don't?" he challenged, just so see what she'd say.

Her eyes narrowed and she crooked a finger at him. Still smiling, he leaned down until he was within arm's reach. She curled her good hand into his shirt, pulling it tight. "I didn't go through all of this just so you could get sidelined because of weight issues. Now go before I figure out a way to climb out of this bed and kick your ass."

His grin widened as he untangled her fingers from his shirt, then closed the distance between them and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. "I love you," he whispered as he pulled back to look her in the eye.

Her stern look slowly slid into a sleepy smile. "I know. I love you too, Now go."

* * *

So this is it for this section. However, I know I left a lot of stuff hanging. There will be a third section following shortly. Thanks to everyone who favorited, commented and followed this story.


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